Would you ever take it upon yourself to cut someone else's child's hair without asking the parents first?

Yes, that is the only respectful thing to do for a really young child, ages 5–6 or younger. However…I also think children can make their own decisions about their hair cuts at a young age and if the child really wants to cut their long hair or grow out their short hair, the parents need to respect their autonomy to make some of their own decisions. I would allow my child to make their own hair style choices by the age of 7 or so.

Yes, it is the parent’s decision; Grandparents that do such a thing are demeaning the parental authority and disrespecting the responsible parent. Plus they do not know what the parent has in mind for the child.

Plus, is either grandmother a trained cosmetologist? If not, you have no business touching anyone’s hair that is not your own child.

School starts in a few weeks, now that poor girl will get her picture taken with an awful haircut that will open her to ridicule for the rest of her life (I still get jokes made over pictures with lousy haircuts from more than 50 years ago).

Absolutely positively must get the child’s parents permission!
This is so obvious I am stunned anyone would violate it.

What if the child was 10 or 12?

As a child who had very long hair when I was 4 and 5, I would have been devastated if someone decided to cut it off for me. (And, anyway, I chose to have it chopped to my earlobes when I was six, and good and sick of brushing it.)

Alternative: Offer to brush and braid her hair. She would probably enjoy this, especially if you make it look like a braid a favorite character of hers might have (I’m thinking Elsa or Anna from Frozen, or perhaps Katniss from Hunger Games, etc.) Or if not a braid, maybe pigtails, or some sort of bun/twist, etc. Or just a ponytail. And then it’s significantly cooler for her, and won’t get tangled as easily, and she had some fun getting her hair braided/styled by her grandmother.

I’m glad your she likes her new hair cut. Still, if her hair hadn’t been cut, best to let it be. It’s only hair, after all. I think it’s better that she’s got tangled hair and a day full of stories and adventures, than her worrying too much about keeping her hair tidy. Her parents can always help her brush it out at the end of the day…. And if she was unhappy with the haircut and indicated that to you, you could always suggest she ask her parents for a haircut when they pick her up.

She wasn’t worried about keeping it tidy.

Do you mean ”without asking the parents first”?

When I was that age I had really long hair too. My neighbors (the adults) were always bugging me to ask my Mom to cut it. She finally did. I was glad.

Yes, @Pied_Pfeffer.

For what it’s worth, if I had a daughter, and she’d asked her grandmother to cut her hair, I don’t think I would care much. It would probably be a fun experience for the both of them, and a story for my daughter to tell me when she got back… I wouldn’t feel comfortable, however, if I knew that my daughter wanted her hair long, and she had just been going along with someone else’s decision about it. I’d be a bit peeved at that person, whoever they were, I think… I’m not sure how that lines up with your story, if it does at all, it’s just another thought I had.

I don’t think I would mind, but I don’t know. I always kept my kids hair pretty short as it was. Some people get all proud because they’ve never cut their daughter’s hair since the day she was born…..I’m not even sure why they would think that was cool.

I wouldn’t do it even if parents asked me to. Long hair is beautiful. I’d be furious if someone cut my kid’s hair.

What if the child didn’t like it long @Sneki2?

What if they like it long?

You didn’t ask about the kid’s wishes initially. It’s irrelevant here.

I would go with whatever the child wanted, but if it wasn’t my child I would certainly call the parents first, and I’d defer to whatever they wanted.

^^That makes sense. You would be in the soup if child and parents wishes collide for making the decision on your own.

I would never cut another child’s hair, either myself or by taking the child to the hairdresser.

As far as my own child’s hair, my mom never cut it but if she did, I’d be ok with it.

I know when my daughter was younger, she would scream when I tried to brush out knots. If I asked her to let me cut her hair and she said yes, I’d immediately get the scissors and take a few inches off. It was really frustrating dealing with the knots and the drama every time I brushed her hair. Now she’s 10 and she’s better about it. She takes care of it herself but it’s still an issue sometimes.

I should add that after decades of watching the hairdresser, I’m a pretty decent hair cutter and hair stylist. I brought my daughter with me once when I was getting my hair done and the stylist said I did a pretty good job. I watch how they cut layers and that’s what I do to my daughter’s hair.

My best friend was a hair dresser. I asked how they did layers too. I kept my daughter’s hair shoulder length and layered. It was light and airy and easy to care for.
I cut my son’s hair even as he got older.

Would you ever take it upon yourself to cut someone else’s child’s hair with(out) asking the parents first?

Yes,frequently.

Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young – Almost Cut My Hair

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1RPovmMwef8

In general the answer would be no, I wouldn’t without asking a parent.

But the exception would be if the kid got bubblegum or something like that in the hair, and even in that case I would trim the minimum possible without informing the parent.

The error has already been pointed out @Pinguidchance, but thank you.

Yeah, I think that even grandmothers and other relatives need to clear it with the parents. People have very different thoughts and feelings about hair. I had the most benign grandmother imaginable but she thought boys should have near-zero hair length. My dad and I would always get haircuts before going to see her (which I didn’t like) and she would still often ask if I didn’t think I ought to get a haircut. Once she suggested she just do it or take me to get it cut when my parents were away. I said no. If she had actually cut it or had my hair cut, it would have impacted my whole relationship with her. To cut their hair without the parents’ permission (and letting the child hear about it from the parents) could be a violation of the child’s body/self and the parents’ trust and protection of the child.

I would never do that.

And it isn’t like scissors are hard to come across. If the kid was desperate to get the mess off they could do it themselves.

I’ve had a situation where there was something sticky in the hair of a child I was caring for and after trying for some time to remove it, I had to cut it out. I let the parents know after the fact and told them that I would help pay for a visit to the hairdresser.

My three year old cut her hair when I thought she was taking a nap!

Yes. Funny enough every parent want’s their own way when raising their kids. When my MIL wanted to interfere, I would point out, that she raised her kids her way, without interference and I wanted the same thing in return.
If a parent is causing no physical or mental harm to a child then it is no one’s business to interfere or to feel they have a right too.

In my view, it should be up to the parents. End of Story.