How do I overcome the pressure to be flawless and perfect?

You have to stop dwelling on the past. I can understand your resentment at not being able to visit your nephews and nieces, but that is something you have no control over.

If there was pressure on you to succeed then there must have been pressure on others as well. Should the schools apologize to everyone? The others did not have a mental illness but you did.

You have to take stock of your current situation without trying to blame others. How you got in your current situation is not worth obsessing over. Focus on the present. What are some things you would like to accomplish? Make a plan and try to stick to it.

@LostInParadise
Should the schools apologize to everyone? Yes. It was forced on us. We didn’t have a say.
What are some things you would like to accomplish?
I would like to have some fun. ordering books online for fun. paying off my credit card and finding a fun part time job. learning for fun. maybe making a couple of YouTube videos. going on eHarmony.

Did those in charge at the schools do anything different from other people in charge of schools? When you go to school, you have to do papers and take tests. That is the way things work. Do you have a problem with that?

Have you taken any steps toward accomplishing your goals?

It is easy to order books online, but more difficult to read them. Make sure you don’t end up with a stack of unread books.

Whether you are struggling toward some achievement, or someone behaves badly in traffic, or your refrigerator full of food breaks down, always remember these three words:

Life is messy.

It always has been and always will be, long after you and I have left the planet. So when the neighbors are too loud, or your car starts making some mysterious, expensive-sounding noise, or some corrupt politician who you voted for is thrown out of office, remember this…..

We’re all in this together, and those malevolent forces are not just picking on you. They are picking on everybody.

Life is messy.

Don’t. Learn to be in control and realistic in goals but let you be your own staunchest critic and keep your bar up there.

Perfect is a Platonic notion that does not exist in nature
I understand nobody reads Plato in the public school system but eventually people grow up and figure it out
Don’t they?

Plato ??.......Mickey Mouse’s dog ??

Yeah, I eventually got the gist of him….

First of all, I think you need to overcome the delusion that your school owes you an “apology” for acting like a school—especially now that you’re a grown man. Your beliefs don’t sound grounded in reality.

Secondly, it’s time to grow up and take responsibility for your life. Your teachers and your parents are no longer able to influence your circumstances. If you want to do something and be somebody, find a way to do it.

Immerse yourself in imperfection and never stop finding ways to appreciate it. The late-great Lisa “Left-Eye” Lopez (from super group TLC) adopted the stage name Left Eye when a young man that she was dating looked at her non-symmetrical eyes and said, “Your left eye is kinda cute.” Check out all of the ways in which blades of grass are different, unique, imperfect, and special. Do the same with leaves, with children playing in a park. Volunteer to work with special needs children. Buy clothing and goods from the “as is” section. Watch the documentary: Just Eat It—that shows the wasteful practice of throwing away nutritious, delicious food simply because it doesn’t “look right.” Learn a new artistic skill: like pottery, creating mosaics, glass blowing, or singing, and celebrate all of the failures you make on the way to self-improvement. Go to an apple orchard, pick several of the weirdest looking apples, and make apple pie, cider, or butter out of them. Watch “A Charlie Brown Christmas,” decide on the best and beautifully flawed you that you aspire to be, and set about being that.

Good points @give_seek to quote Miley Cyrus, “nobody’s perfect.” ;)

While I joke, it is important not to let the fear of doing things “wrong” get in the way of doing anything at all. Every human has something to contribute and if we sit around festering about past wrongs, we’ll never accomplish much.

As the great Tom Hanks said in (my new favorite movie) ‘Bridge of Spies’....

“Sir, we have to get off this merry-go-round…..’

and

“Every person matters….”