If you were to have your own Country album...what would your song titles be?

- “My husband is my daddy.”
– “My sister has a great ass”
– “My dog looks pretty hot today”
– “The prostitute murder song”
– “Hang the nigger from the tree”

You held a candle to my heart but only burnt my nipple.
You saw me on the bridge but why did you push me?

Album: Schmashville

- Well, I Tried
– Asked My Ex
– The Road Most Traveled
– Dark Brown Voiced Lola
– Axed My Ex

My Momma was My Dad..Before the Operation
I Saw You on the Bed Can You See Me Waving?

I Keep On Bouncing Back Oh How I Hate This Bungee Jump.
Naked in the Shower and Now Banned From That Store.

- ‘Turn Your Head, Mama, Is That Really You ?’
– ‘Scuse Me, Sue, Does This Look Infected To You ?’
– ‘Spellin’ Bee Runner-Up 153’
– ‘It’s Not Right To Be Left’
– ‘Whiskey For These Here Infants’
– ‘Banjo Funeral March’
– ‘A Heart Full of Pain, A Lap Full of Vomit’
– ‘Wedding Grits and Gravy’

1) I Got Drunk and went to Prison ‘cuz my Woman done Left me – for an Organ Grinders Monkey 2) I Voted for Trump, My Cousin, er, Wife Gave Me the Dump 3) Why Cain’t She Run Barfoot Like She Used to Do, Why’s She Got to Hound Me For a Pair of Shoes

I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well.
My Car Ain’t got but Three Wheels so I’m Walking to the Bar
I’ve been so miserable since you’ve left me, it’s like you still were here.
If You See Me Gettin’ Smaller, It’s Cause I’m Leavin’ You
I would have Voted Trump but I was Jailed
Whose Boots are those under your Bed Marylou When You know that I don’t Own no Shoes?

Album title: Redneck Rodeo

Songs:

Do the Hokey Pokey Cowboy.

Take that Dodge and shove it.

Red Rovers dead, found him under my bed.

These boots were made for shit kickin’.

Cry me a river of Coors Lite.

Pukin’ in my Chevy.

Line dancin’ Dick

The Sad Sack Saloon.

You Ran off with a One Legged Man and Left me Hopping Mad.
If my Dog still had its Teeth I’m Sure he’d Bite You.
Somethings Burning on the Stove and the cabin’s Full of Smoke and these eyes ain’t Full of Tears because I Love You.

I do actually, with my band. But they’re all bluegrass standards.

Bluegrass is great, Country sucks the big banana. haha

We have staff for that & they lick ass for dinner money
Your subservient ass is fired, call me Suzie if it ain’t so
I banged the maid in the scullery below stairs
We shoot some pool & my butler polished our balls
Chauffeur driven horse & cart, my horse is fine but the driver is an old fart

My Labradoodle Won’t Hunt No Coons
My Moonshine Brings All the Boys to the Bathtub

And the hit single:

She Thinks My Tractor’s Unnecessary Because We Live in a Subdivision Where Lawn Care is Included in the HOA Fees And Our Yard is Too Small To Justify a Ride-On Mower

Light my fire cos’ I ran outa matches

You Saw Me On the Corner and Ran Right Over Me.
It’s Not a Gun In My Pocket I’m Just Glad to See You.

I been plowing these fields, and washing your clothes and now I’m done

The song chorus:

Yes, I’m done, I’m done being your skivvy and I’m done being a work horse, gimme some alimony, you heard me

ali MONEY
ali MONEY

I’ve got four degrees and you got none you hear me? I’m done.

I’m done

“Country Hurts My Ears But What the Heck, I’m Pretty Deaf Already.”

My dog done left me
It’s a dog gone day.
Ride in my ute
The long, long, long red road.
White line fever.
He cut my grass.
Boots, beards and Black

@Earthbound_Misfit “The long, long, long red road..” reminds of the traveling through some years back on a road trip. The asphalt in Utah is all made from red sandstone and we were coming into the town of “Beaver” joking about the long red road to Beaver.

“I have my own country western album”
“My songs sound like shit, just like all the others”
“I shoulda been a rock and roll star”
Just to name a couple…

I can’t recall his name right now (senior moment) but there was a famous drummer who, when he was about to be sedated for an operation, was asked if there was any thing he can’t take. Yeah, he replied. Country music.

Don’t Need No Beer With Fibro Fog

I’ll Light My Own Damn Fire Since You Only Dampen The Spark

Wheelchairs Ain’t Sexy, But Give Er A Try Anyhoo

You’ll Like Fat Women Fine When I Win That Powerball.

Iffn I Had A Dog The Bitch ‘D Probably Hate Me.

Don’t Touch That, Asshole, It’s Mine

Yes I’m Blasting Rap From My Rusty Truck But I’m Still Super-Racist

@MrLove If you were to have your own Country album…what would your song titles be?

A side

1. I’m a country member.

2. I get down on my knees to you my lord.

3. If ifs and ans were pots and pans my dinner’d be on the table.

4. The succulent and the truculent.

5. Cougars and Cheetahs.

6. Aside to the A hole.

B side

1. Beside you I’m always right.

2. What’s that in my mouth, honey?

3. Ain’t arcane it’s archaic.

4. Hiya and higher schooling.

5. Sulk pallid Annie.

6. When I was brung.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ur30bn_3G58
Eric Burdon and The Animals – When I Was Young

Met my wife at the family reunion.

My Game Of Thrones country album:
Bend da Knee
(My dick’s) Dragon In The Dirt
You Took My Hand (Jamie’s song)
My favorite prostitute
I Love Your Face (my favorite disguise)
Burn Them All (bbq at the Septon)

Proud of my Rifle and Proud of my Race and the Word Covfefe Tattooed on my Face.