Does frequent eye contact actually have a meaning?
I remember my freshman year of high school. A boy in my class would always stare at me, to the point my friends would notice. My friends and I then had this huge conversation on how “eye contact means he thinks your cute! Ooo he likes you! Blah blah blah!” Nothing ever came out of his staring, but through out the years, I’ve noticed many guys frequently staring at me.
Fast forward to today, I’ve basically come to the conclusion that I’ll never know the answer. I assume it means nothing until the man starts flirting with me or whatever.
Currently, a guy in one of my college courses frequently makes eye contact with me but looks away as soon as I notice. I’ve talked to him once, the first time I ever saw him, thought we had a good conversation. But we really don’t know each other that well. He’s closer with my two girlfriends and guy friend than he is with me, and he talks to them frequently.
One time we made eye contact in the hall, I smiled and said “hey how are you?” And he smiled and said “good” then quickly turned away. I’m good friends with his friend, and I was talking to his friend. I tried to include the guy who stares at me in the conversation, since he was smiling and laughing at our convo. But once I included him, he smiled but quickly looked away again.
So it seems as if he may be “shy”, but he’s actually really extroverted and talks to everyone. I’m kind of interested in him so maybe I’m really grasping at straws. Perhaps I said something rude when we talked and now things are awkward?? Maybe he likes one of my super extroverted friends? So many possibilities.
So does eye contact really mean anything? Or is my naiive high school self coming out from hiding?
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8 Answers
Different from animals and different customs. I would focus on your education and wait until one of you decides to make the first move.
This is an excellent run-down on eye contact in various situations. Check out “Gazing” and “Staring”. These are the same techniques the FBI uses in watching people in public places and in interpreting the reactions of people during interrogation.
He’s shy, and insecure, where it involves romance/flirting/dating.
That’s my guess.
Thanks everyone for the answers!
@Espiritus_Corvus , interesting read! I think I once read that cops can often suspect when someone is guilty when the person avoids eye contact with the cop!
I believe absence of eye contact can mean the person is shy, is lying, or simply isn’t very well socialized. Take your pick.
Eye contact does not “have a meaning” – that’s not the way it exists in the universe. Eye contact is a state of being. People have many things going on with them, which may or may not have them make eye contact or not. It is not possible to infer a certain meaning from a certain eye contact behavior, though it may be one clue.
For example, despite all the interesting details in @Espiritus_Corvus’ link, I can do whatever I want with my eyes, and my reason could be because I am wanting to confuse FBI body language readers, or for some other reason. I often look at things because I am generally interested in those things, and that includes looking at people and looking in them in the eye, and not all that often for the reasons listed in that article, especially when I’m conscious of what I’m doing. Often my reason is because I am interested or entertained by looking at people and conjecturing about them.
It’s more likely to be able to interpret eye contact behavior when the subject is not conscious of what they’re doing with their eyes, and doesn’t know you’re trying to figure them out. High school boys do happen to often fall into those categories more often than not, but you’ll need to get other sources of information to interpret what they’re thinking or feeling. However, if they’re a straight high school guy looking at you frequently, odds are they at least find you attractive.
Oh and despite my protestations above, when I was a guy in middle school, there was one girl I looked at a lot, and it was absolutely about me having an enormous crush on her, for years, and afraid of trying to actually engage her.
If, like me, you’ve interviewed prospective employees, you probably know you can tell a lot about them by how willing/able they are to make eye contact.
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