How can I persuade my "monkey mind" to let me fall asleep?

Don’t Fluther within two hours of sleeping. No tv either. Make your bed only for sleeping. I like Having a glass of tapwater, and an ensure. I used to listen to coast to coast am on the radio from 1–5am when ever I can’t sleep.

@janbb I’ll risk it:(and hope not to get slapped down) I like repetitive prayer, Try mentally “typing the Lord’s Prayer.” I avoid upsetting news, and try reading before helps me a lot. (so much that I frequently fall asleep while reading) It’s tough when you can’t get to sleep.

I agree with @RedDeerGuy1 about avoiding screen time closer to bedtime (not that I do this!). I think it’s about breaking the cycle, so try getting into a ‘sleep’ routine. Perhaps have a relaxing bath or shower before bed.

I find reading helps. I read a few chapters which helps my brain quieten down and then I can sleep. I’m having the same problem at the moment, and it still takes a while, but eventually, I do fall asleep. Perhaps try some meditation too. There are guided meditations you can do. I’ve found those helpful. The Calm app has sleep stories you can listen to.

Is the upcoming wedding running through your head? Are you getting enough exercise?

I combine noise-cancelling headphones with audio lectures and audiobooks (as long as it’s just a dude reading, and not, like, a dramatic production of a novel – I tend to stick with nonfiction).

That way if I can’t sleep at least the time I’m wasting laying there, I’m learning something. Generally, once I’m focused on the lecture and relaxed in body, the body realises it’s ready to sleep and the mind – occupied by trickery – falls asleep, too.

@stanleybmanly The wedding has passed but I was certainly stirred before that by it – and the fleas!

I promise I am not making fun or light of this, as I am often in the same boat, but I find that letting a soothing lullaby or child’s song play over and over in my head. I use Soft Kitty. It’s (surprisingly) quite effective.

What is Soft Kitty?

From Big Bang Theory. Look it up on YouTube.
But probably any child’s softly sung repetitive rhyme would do the trick.

My technique is to play “Hard” games of Sudoku on my tablet until I’m unable to concentrate any more. At that point, sometimes I’m even too tired to turn off the tablet – and playing with lights out, anyway – so sleep becomes automatic.

I read taking a shower before bed helps to lower your body temp and make it easier to fall asleep.

There are so many tips I’ve read lately like for example don’t allow any blue lights near you (you know the clock alarm or whatever). An hour before bed, turn down the lights and read, no TV or other things like that.
I use white noise. Have you tried it? I use a baby white noise machine. I like the rain or sea noises which are repetitive and lull you to sleep.
You could try some sleep hypnosis, there are a few good ones for sale on Amazon and they are quite inexpensive.

I’m going to recommend considering that maybe you should consider splitting your sleep hours. It’s very common as people age to have more trouble staying asleep all night long. What if you try going to sleep at midnight, wake maybe at 6:00am, and then nap an hour and a half midday. Or, whatever pattern is more natural for you. Once in a while maybe you don’t get your nap, but so what. If the pattern helps you be awake when you want to be awake, then I think it’s ok.

Things to remember about falling asleep:

Studies show your extremities need to be warm to fall asleep. If your feet or hands are cold it makes it difficult to fall asleep.

A dark room helps people fall asleep. You can wear an eye mask or get blackout curtains if your room isn’t dark now.

Don’t try to go to sleep when your not sleepy yet. Tossing and turning waiting for sleep is agitating.

Don’t drink caffeine right before bed.

Don’t drink right before bed. Make sure you’re hydrated well, and don’t feel thirsty, a good hour before you lie down to go to sleep.

Do something mindless the hour before bedtime. Watch a TV show that’s easy to follow, or read a book that is calming. Interacting with online tends to keep people awake. Also, many online games and social media sites are set up to touch our addiction centers, which keeps us engaged.

Many meditative techniques (e.g., Buddhist meditation, transcendental meditation, Christian centering prayer, etc.) have been developed to turn off that chattering “monkey mind”. Chances are someone in your community is offering some kind of low-cost meditation training. Other activities like yoga or tai chi might help reduce your overall stress level even if you don’t do them right before bed.

I’ve never gotten very far with any of that stuff, but I have found that even the elementary breathing and relaxation exercises they start out with help me fall asleep.

If that fails, Sleeptime tea and a banana before bed often works for me. Eat the banana while you are making the tea.

I didn’t read the previous answers.yet.

I’m thinking that maybe you’re a nightowl and that’s your body’s natural sleep pattern. Why not just go with the flow and let yourself stay up late and sleep late?

Leave the TV on all night.

If it’s really just my brain keeping me up I try to just let it run a bit without worry. Take the leash off for a few minutes and see where it heads. Usually whatever I’m thinking about isn’t actually that deep and it’s calming just to let it run without trying to fight it or constantly thinking sleep would be better. Calm is good.

Once I’m calm, I give it a new task. It’s a little hard to describe, but I’d say worth a try. Meditation never really worked for me to sleep, but this has.

I close my eyes and look for something I can “see” if I just let my mind wander. A color or shape, light/dark, a scene, whatever catches my interest. Then I try to modify that somehow. Make a kaleidoscope of the shapes and colors, or think about how I’d paint the scene with specific shades and highlights, or how many times the shape would repeat in a square container. Whatever my brain says it wants to do.

Usually after a quick trip to the amusement park, it’s a lot happier and ready to recharge.

I realize rereading this that it sounds sarcastic and silly with the personified brain, not my intent. That’s actually just how I think of it, amusing my hyperactive brain with worry-free activities until it’s ready to sleep.

Update: I slept last night! It was cooler, i had the windows open instead of the air conditioner on, I took a walk with a friend around 6 and generally had a happier day than others recently. I did take a hot bath before getting into bed which is my usual cool weather routine but also stayed away from the internet for the last hour.

I did wake several times but was able to go back to sleep – some of the time by “singing” a little hym I like to myself as @canidmajor suggested.

This is a lifelong problem with no one solution but at least I broke the recent pattern. I truly think being in a happy frame of mind when I hit the pillow is the most profound solution but that is hard to achieve.

Thanks all!

I’m glad you slept! Being happier at bed time is a big help for me, also, as well as no screen time for an hour before bed. But I think the happier helps the most; no immediate problems to solve!

I wish for you many more Zs!

^^ One night was a blessing!

Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur,/ happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr, purr, purr.

Or if that doesn’t work, I work math in my head. (1×1=1, 2×2=4, 3×3=9, etc.)

Sweet Dreams, my dear penguin!

@Strauss If you do math in your head, maybe you can come over and whisper sweet nothings to me as I fall asleep. :-)

I don’t know, because I can’t do it easily myself. So, I read the most dry boring shit I can find to run my brain down. I do sudoku, I do crossword puzzles until my eyes are crossed. I won’t submit to drugs unless I have an important deadline, which is rare. I read lists of facts, dry facts. As a consequence, I’ve become a master of the most esoteric trivia over the years. So, there’s that.

Sweet Zeroes!

I think I may have found my bedtime reading. A book about morality that I’m reading for my Unitarian book discussion group. Nearly fell asleep in my chair this afternoon!

Whatever works!

It sounds as if you sand some of the others have touched upon my recommendations.
* A warm bath before bed.
* A cool bedroom.
* Focus on reading a book.
* Don’t drink any beverages well before bedtime.
* If my mind is still restless, I count the hinges in my parent’s home, starting in the attic; sort of like counting sheep. I don’t think that I’ve ever made it to the basement level before dropping off.

Try Counting Your Blessings

Maybe your night time “meditation” before falling asleep should be thinking about happy or peaceful thoughts. Either the things you’re grateful for, or something like picturing yourself at the beach, or wherever makes you happy.

Sounds like temperature is a big deal too. It might be worth moving your thermostat one or two degrees at night, or changing the weight of your blanket during the summer vs the winter if you don’t already.

@janbb: You didn’t mention if just staying up later and leeting yourself sleep later in the morning would be something you’d consider.

How can I persuade my “monkey mind” to let me fall asleep?

Think “banana” then “pinguidchance”, repeat ad nauseam, guaranteed soporific.

@JLeslie I do adjust for temperature – air in summer and lower heat in winter.

@jca Not practical. I’m ready for bed, just my mind isn’t. And there are things most mornings I have to be at. Not super early; some days I sleep in but most days 11 – to 7:30 or 8 makes sense. Besides I am bored by 11 and ready to be done with the day.

@janbb I mean whatever you’re setting your air on, maybe one degree lower at night would help? If it being colder seemed to help you last night. I’m assuming in the summer your set at 77 and winter 70, or whatever the numbers are there is likely a point spread. I only know one person who keeps their residence at the same temp summer and winter, but maybe you’re another person who does it.

Yes, I understood you and I do make it colder at night – summer and winter.

Oh, then I misunderstood you. :).

I watched a program about sleep the other night and it was an interesting take.

There is something called ‘restrictive’ sleep. You decide beforehand what time you are going to bed and when you are going to get up. I hate six hours sleep so perhaps make it 5 or 6 hours. Then you only allow yourself those hours for days!Forcing yourself to wake and go to bed at the same time and NOT before, until your time in bed is associated with sleep. You will be exhausted but it might help to ‘bite the bullet’ kind of a thing?

Sometimes people have to do lists in their heads all night long.
One way is to think or say to oneself is” I will leave it until tomorrow to find a solution”.
Or“In the morning I will figure out a solution, but for now I will sleep.

If my brain is running up to lists, I write them all down before I try to sleep. It’s a stress reliever to know that I’ve got that all written down so I won’t forget it.

Meditation and progressive muscle relaxation should do the job. A busy mind can only be quiet if you apply the right strategies. The more you focus on how busy your mind is, the more trouble you will face with falling and then staying asleep. The key is to focus on how your body feels and let your thoughts come and go instead of holding onto them. If you seem to think too much about what you are going to do the next day, it’s a good idea to write to-do lists before going to sleep. This way, you will know for sure that you can clear that part of your mind up. Another helpful trick would be to play sound inducing audio sequences. I use Sleep Automatic for that, but you can choose whatever fits your needs best. YouTube is full of guided meditations to help you fall asleep. Give it a try!