Is "dropping in" on friends or family always rude?

There has been only one time when it upset me deeply. My husband and I owned a small engine repair shop about 30 miles from the house. I had only met his family one time.
Suddenly my husband got a call at the shop from his brother who said he and his wife were on their way down to visit. They live about 2.5 hours away, but said they’d been on the road about 30 minutes already.

I freaked. I had to drive 30 minutes to get back, rush to the store to get some finger foods to snack on, because I had no idea of they’d be hungry, clean the house as spotlessly as I could in just an hour, and make myself presentable. None of his family had ever been to visit and I really wanted to make a good first impression.
So, they get here. I just act all calm and cool, not out of breath at all.
They sat. They looked around and made small talk. They stayed for about 30 minutes, and then left. They never even took their coats off.

It was the strangest thing ever.

Yes, I do mind drop-ins. If you want to stop by then call first.

makes note to self.

For the most part, I love it when people drop in and wish it were more the custom. These days, we even make appointments for phone calls with friends!

I don’t know of it’s considered rude, I don’t pay much heed to such etiquette. However it annoys me greatly when people drop by out of nowhere, especially those who know me well. I like my solitude a lot more than the average person and having my routines broken can bring down my whole day and mood. Those who know this and still drop by unannounced make me want to move in the woods and become a witch.

In my culture drop-ins are always acceptable as long as you bring gifts along with you. It’s generally rude to visit someone (with or without making a phone call first) and not bring something for them, it’ll also be rude for the host to not offering snacks or drinks for the guests who are visiting their house.

Family are always welcome, with friends I usually prefer it to be arranged

Not always. I depends on the reason and how close the friends are. You can usually tell.

I don’t keep my house for the Pope, and I spend most days in pajamas. If you don’t mind that, sure, stop by. I’ll make coffee.

If you call I won’t answer. I hate phones more than I hate surprise visitors.

I definitely don’t like drop ins. Please call before you come,

Its a bad habit to get into. Best to call first.

It depends on the situation, it’s definitely not always rude.

When I was a kid I loved when friends knocked on the door to play, and neighbors would come by to talk to my parents. If our relatives had lived walking distance that would have been nice if they dropped in.

As an adult without kids, I don’t always get myself ready for the day. Sometimes I work for a few hours in the morning still in my pajamas! I’m not really ready to receive people. However, a simple call first and I’d be happy to pull myself together in 20 minutes to receive a visit.

So, it just depends where and how I’m living. If I had a lot of people who tended to drop in I’d probably bother to have myself more presentable all the time. If it was just my mom or sister dropping by I wouldn’t care if I still have bed head, but anyone else I’d rather be dressed for the outside world.

I guess as long as the drop ins are after noontime then I’d definitely be ready. Maybe there is a rule about that? Are drop-ins only supposed to be between 1:00 and 4:00? That way it’s between meals and people are usually ready to greet people?

No, of course it’s not always rude, but I prefer people not do it.

@Berserker “I don’t know of it’s considered rude, I don’t pay much heed to such etiquette. However it annoys me greatly when people drop by out of nowhere, especially those who know me well. I like my solitude a lot more than the average person and having my routines broken can bring down my whole day and mood. Those who know this and still drop by unannounced make me want to move in the woods and become a witch.”

Exactly!

I got to the point where I simply would not answer the door for anyone who shows up unannounced.

I honestly wouldn’t care.

Man, glad I don’t feel like I have to bring a present every time I got to see a friend!

I absolutely hate drop ins. My husband and I are both very private people. Everyone we know knows that though.

If someone doesn’t mind drop ins, then it’s hardly rude.

Thank you. On a social question on Facebook there is a question about dropping in and they’re going wild with how rude it is. No matter how many times I tell them the people in question don’t mind at all, have told me they don’t mind (because I asked) and in fact are always glad to see us. They don’t get many visitors because they’re stashed away on 80 acres in the country. She, in particular, is more social than her husband and she misses that.
Our relationship is relaxed enough so that when we come by they don’t feel the need to stop what they’re doing to entertain us. She spends time in her workshop with her furniture painting projects, and I’ll go in there and hang out and watch her and ask questions.
If they’re doing yard work we go out and work along side of them.
They honestly don’t mind, but those on FB refuse to believe it.

I never want to be dropped in on. On my days off, I’m either resting, cleaning or getting ready to go out (or not home at all). Doing any of the above, I wouldn’t want someone to disturb me. When I’m home on my days off, I’m not taking a shower until I am going out. If I don’t go out until 5 in the evening, I’ll be in sweat pants or pajamas until I take a shower.

I really don’t want to be disturbed when I’m home. If someone knocks on my door, it’s alarming.

The only person who ever will drop in on me is the guy who mows my lawn. He’ll drop by to get the check. He’s not looking to stay, he’s just knocking on the door to get the check. To prevent that, I’ll take the check to his house.

To me, the whole meaning of a friend is a person who can come over any time, and help him/her self to whatever is in my fridge.

It’s not always rude, but a quick call would be nice.

Not rude, just annoying. I don’t have it much and I won’t do it myself. What I really hate is when people call knowing I have been at work. All night. Oh, did I wake you up? No, I was asleep anyway.

@YARNLADY same here. Plenty of times I’ve woken up to friends of my kids (or my actual kids who done moved out) crashed on my couch. I don’t mind. I think it’s a comfort to them that they will always have a place to go.
I do put them to work, though!

Work? Tain’t hardly neighborly, making them work- ya think?

Don’t care!

LOL! One time I had a dinner and I invited my kids. Chris wanted to know if his friend, Alex could come and I said, “Sure.”
He talked to Alex, and Alex said , “What time are we eating? I don’t want to get there until then because she’ll make me work!” :D Lazy butt

Lol Right smart young feller there.

He had to help clear the table. :D :D :D.