(NSFW) After hearing about this certain event I feel different. Is this normal?

Chill out. Your mother is a normal, healthy woman who seems to a have normal, healthy attitude towards life. She is old enough to make up her own mind as to what she wants to do and you need to butt out. You have a problem with it, and it is your problem, not hers. Get over it!

Good on your mom. Oldies need action too. Sex is fun.

Keep in mind you stuck your ear to floor to hear what was going on. You invaded her privacy.

@Lois0987 Thank you very much for sharing with us. I appreciate the courage it takes to tell these kinds of things to strangers on the Internet.

Sex is a good and normal thing that adults do. It can be a very beautiful thing, too.

At its most basic function, it’s a very powerful natural drive that ensures our species survives. It’s how we reproduce.

But it’s so much more than that. It’s a way for one human to show another that he/she cares about another. It can be very important just to touch each other. It connects us.

Sex between 2 healthy, consenting adults is a good thing.

I don’t know you, but I imagine you’re still young. Quite possibly a teenager. You’re still learning about being an adult and the things adults do. Remember that your age may have a lot to do with your reaction to what you overheard.

Try to let it go. Write about it on a piece of paper and then rip the paper into shreds and toss it out. That’s a kind of little ritual to release. When you write, concentrate on your feelings. Don’t write about what you imagine are your mom’s feelings. Write just about how this incident makes you feel. Release that.

Next, in the next week, find something small and kind to do for your mom. It’s a way of reaching out to her. Keep it small and make it kind.

Is there anyone you trust outside of your family that you can talk to, like a school counselor, a minister or some other highly trusted adult friend? I’m asking that because your reaction – specifically “a panic attack” – is not an entirely normal one. And no, it’s also not normal to be grossed out by the thought of one’s mother having sex. My parents never split up, and one time I walked in on them as they were having sex downstairs in the family room late at night when they thought we were all asleep. I’ll admit that it was “confusing” – even though I was pretty young and didn’t really know what sex was, and even though they were under covers and it was dark, I knew something ‘adult’ was happening, so I just went back to bed – and I puzzled over that for a long time, but it wasn’t upsetting. So you might be helped by someone who knows about these kinds of things and can help you to resolve your feelings about the issue.

But I’m not judging you, either. Your feelings are your own and they appear to be honest ones, so they have to be respected and dealt with. And once you have come to understand your feelings, your relationship with your mother, and her wants and desires, too, then you’ll probably be able to gain acceptance.

You may be concerned that this guy, or any guy, might come between you and your mom, and I will agree that that’s possible… but unlikely. We see those kinds of weak mothers in bad television and movies, but in real life, I’ve never known a mother who would allow some stranger to come between herself and her child. Again, it would help you to be able to speak with an adult that you can trust to respect your mom’s privacy and yours, but who understands life in ways that you don’t, yet.

And don’t feel that you need to make apologies for raising issues like that here; some of us old folks like to offer what we can to you young whippersnappers to reassure you that the world is an okay place, even though it appears kind of screwy sometimes.

You’ll get over this and be fine. The thing to do now is to figure out “how”.

In her other thread, she has refered to her family as a “shit family.”

In the details of this thread, she says she was blamed for a previous break up with her Mother and boyfriend.

She also started a thread about social anxiety.

It’s possible that she doesn’t have a great Mother. Maybe her mother is the one blaming her for the previous break up. If that’s the case it would make sense to be wary of the next developing relationship her mother is starting, as she may get blamed if it doesn’t go well.

We could assume that her father doesn’t live with her, or Mom wouldn’t be having sex with different men in the house.

We can also assume that she lives with her Mom. She mentioned that she was in high school, so she isn’tgoing anywhere soon.

If she lives with a Mother who has frequent men over, and blames her daughter for break ups, and she has a history of social anxiety, then these feelings are a pretty rational reaction.

Unfortunately, I have known some pretty bad mothers (not mine) who put their sex lives ahead of their children’s well being. Some even blame their daughters because the men they bring home are more attracted to the daughter. I’m not saying that this is the case here, but it has precedent IRL. Hopefully that isn’t what’s going on here.

So… Assuming that those negative scenarios are false, and Mom is just trying to live a healthy social life, I would talk to the Mother. Tell her how you feel about her relationships, and her behavior in a shared living environment. Most parents don’t want their kids to hear them having sex. Perhaps she could be more discreet with her timing or location when indulging in adult behavior. And obviously the OP could be more respectful of her mother’s privacy, by not trying to listen in.

The OP never elaborated on why she thought she had a “shit family.” If her mother is drinking and /or abusing drugs while all this is going on, then there are deeper problems. In which case, a conversation with her mother may not be the way to go.

In a previous thread, the OP mentioned a friend who had similar problems. Perhaps rekindling that relationship could be therapeutic. Just make sure that he knows that your only interested in being friends. Or , as mentioned above, a relative or counselor could be a helpful ear.

Given the OP’s previous questions, I feel there could be many details that could make this far worse of a situation than just Mom hooking up. The OP seems to be having a stressful time. I would mention that high school is just about the most difficult time in a young person’s life. That’s normal. Being unsettled by a parent’s relationships with people other than the other parent would also be normal, to me.

I am concerned that there is more to the story. I don’t know that any of us could give helpful advice, without knowing more. I’m also not sure that this is the place to seek help, if things are worse than the OP is letting on…

@Lois0987 . I wish you well. Keep hope alive.

Peace n love.

My advice is don’t involve yourself in your mother’s private life unless she asks for your advice. Don’t stick your ear to the floor when your mother has visitors, go for a walk instead. Give your mother some space for Heaven’s sake and stop examining her text messages!

Don’t know how old you are but maybe it’s time to think about an alternative living space if you can.

Would you please share your age and life circumstances?

@Love_my_doggie MrGrimm888 pretty much was able to understand it well

@kritiper I wasn’t able to butt out the last time. Didn’t even want to be involved and that wasn’t even my fault, please pay close attention to what I’m trying to say. Now that she has a new man to sleep around with I’m very uncomfortable around him I feel like he only want to sleep with my mother Like the last guy. (And I’m in the way again?)
Example- He came over yesterday and asked my mom “is my name here?” (Sorry couldn’t not hear their conversation when so close to my bedroom door) then they started talking about sexual things and that’s when I put my headphones on.

@Lois0987. You need to please speak with a counselor at your school, or call CPS. Period…

@Lois0987 There are and will be many things to tweak your brain in life. This has been one of them. And an event doesn’t have to happen to someone else to do your brain’s tweaking. Guys are sexually driven creatures and he obviously finds your mother attractive. Such is life!

^The matter is more complex.