Do you think it is appropriate for a 40 year old married woman with kids to wear in public short pants with her butt cheeks hanging out?

Her ahe has nothing to do with it. Neither does being a mom, or being married. You say she is in goood shape ; if she is then she can pull it off.

The one thing you don’t mention is where is she going like this? To church? To the beach? To a baseball game? To back to school night?

It is really okay to dress in that manner at many places, but definitely inappropriate at others bBut I would welcome 40yr old woman who is in shape to be able to do that.

I would consider it trashy, but the only person I dress is me.

I had a friend I felt showed more clevage than looked right for her.
I mentioned it once, in a brief comment.
It did not go well.

I just did an Google image search on “short pants” with “safe mode” off, and scrolled through all the results, and I didn’t see any with butt cheeks hanging out, but there were some very minimal, tight, nearly exposing ones, and what I did see, were some with codpiece-like lengthy penis socks built in for guys. So… whatever that’s worth, if anything.

As @zenvelo wrote, I too don’t think age or matrimony or motherhood matter to my personal sense of appropriateness for dress. I think setting does.

My feeling is that it’s very informal skimpy clothing, only slightly more clothed than a bathing suit. So if the setting would be appropriate for wearing a bathing suit, then ok on the barely-there shorts. If it would seem inappropriate to wear a bathing suit, then the skimpy shorts might also be thought inappropriate, by me.

Different people have different senses of appropriateness, of course.

I think that how someone else dresses is of no concern to me.

I would go ahead and bring it up. She will no longer be your friend. Problem solved!

If you are offended, don’t look at her butt.

Live your own life. Not someone else’s.

She will not thank you for telling her that you think she looks trashy. Unless she has lived in a cave for the last 40 years, she knows how she looks (although she probably doesn’t characterize it as “trashy”.)
Turn it around. I guess that you think you look and dress fine. Would you appreciate someone telling you what they don’t like about the way you dress or wear your hair or how they think your weight is too much/little?
Probably not.

Is this a case of a female being jealous of another female, or an actual issue?

@MrGrimm888, it sounds to me like this is honest concern that her friend will be badly perceived and regarded by others.

I don’t think that the “40 year old married woman with kids” part is relevant at all, so the question I’m willing to answer is “Do you think it is appropriate for someone to wear in public short pants with their butt cheeks hanging out?” And my answer is that I don’t have a problem with it. I certainly don’t think it’s inappropriate.

Also, you must really hate going to the beach.

@zenvelo I think the relevant search term is “cheeky shorts.” Here is an image I think is representative of what the OP is asking about.

^^^That was @Zaku that did a search.

Oops! I hit “z” and the wrong name must have come down. Sorry!

I find it inappropriate. This is not a carefully reasoned and researched reaction. It is a gut response. I am not suggesting anything be done about it. People are allowed to do things that I find inappropriate. A grown person could, for example, go around in public on a pogo stick.

I also think it best not to discuss this with your friend.

I try to avoid judging. That extends to reserving judgment of whether she can “pull it off” or not, too.

I like what I like, and there are a lot of things that I don’t like, too. But the only judgments that I make are of my own taste.

Aside from that, appropriateness has to do more with the venue and the fashion of the place and time, I think. What’s appropriate for the beach is probably not appropriate for a PTA meeting.

I realize that I did not respond to your question, but then, I had no intention to.

I think the thing that bugs me is that we single out only 40 year old married women.

Is it appropriate for a 40 year old single man to have his butt cheeks hanging out?

Do you think it is appropriate for any woman to walk around without a burka?

Let me tell you a story:

I have a friend, let’s call her “Becca”. That’s not her name, but roll with it.

Becca has big, giant, massive, enormous tits. Becca is about 5’2 – same height as me. She basically looks like a third-grade boy’s cartoon drawing of a woman with big knockers. She is a walking pair of tits. They’re huge, if you’re following me.

Becca has a ridiculously hard time finding clothes that fit her stature and the other 50% of her figure. So she usually settles on mostly shapeless maxi dresses that she can hack a few inches off of so she’s not tripping over the skirts.

This leads to her basically walking around with her tits hanging out pretty much most of the time. She’s good about avoiding nip-slips, but honestly I could pick up the amount of boob visible to the eye with both arms and have trouble carrying it.

Infants and old men drool when she walks by.

I think – every time I see her – about starting a Go Fund Me so she can get some custom made clothes or something and still I’ve manged to never say a goddamn thing to her about it.

If I can avoid embarrassing Becca by not commenting on her wardrobe, you can avoid commenting on your friend’s arse. Your 40 year old married mom friend is not your teenaged daughter, and it’s not your place to correct her wardrobe.

Would it be appropriate if she was 20 and had no kids?

Depends on the butt cheeks.

Probably a lot of stuff men or women should consider not wearing over the age of 40.

Haha. Yes it is just my preference. I dont like to see butt cheeks hanging out all…even at the beach…it just makes my blood crawl. Age has nothing to do with it. I just think it looks trashy.

I can tolerate this thread, as long as we don’t bash yoga pants…

Probably something her husband could address if he sees fit.
I worked with a girl that had huge boobs. I’m sure it was hard to find shirts to cover all that boobage, but she managed to wear shirts that just barely covered her nipples on a daily basis. I was up at the front desk one day and she came up all mad because a very unattractive male (in her opinion) was looking at her boobs. I told her if she chose to show that much, she didn’t get to choose who peeked at them.

Well, it is annoying when a woman who is obviously over 40 tries to dress like a cute 16 year old. Same with guys over 40. PUT YOUR SHIRT ON DUDE!

Some fuckin friend you are to rip the piss outta her on a community site.
Better her arse hanging out than you airing her dirty linen, nowt to do with you or anyone else

What people wear is up to them but if you have kids you have some responsibility to them. You should look half decent for their sakes if not your own.

I agree.
When I was a teenager I was at a party once. There was an older women there probably in her 30’s or 40’s. She was at least 10 years older than anyone else there. She had on a polka dot dress that was quite short, and high heels. She was drinking along with the rest of us. She started complaining about her teenaged daughter starting to get into trouble, staying out and partying.
I said, “Well, it’s what you do. Why do you expect her to be any different. You need to set a better example.”
“But you’re here!” She said.
I said, “I’m a teenager, not a mother with responsibilities.”

I’m sorry, I just read you were drinking underage and insulting a woman for her outfit.

I didn’t insult her at all. It was cute and really flirty, and she carried it off fine, but it was a little off putting. I couldn’t imagine my mother wearing any thing like that or going to a party with a bunch of people young enough to be her kids. There was no one there who was close to her age.
I don’t think I was under age. I was under 20, but it’s legal to drink beer after 18.
Did you read it all?

I see Muddie got a couple of likes on her comment. So I ask you all Did you read what I wrote?? I did not insult the woman and I was of legal age to drink beer.

I read it. I suppose everyone assumes that a teenager drinking automatically means “underage”.

Thank you. And I didn’t insult the woman’s attire either.

That is acceptable only if she looks like a 20yo model. Otherwise it’s trashy and repulsive.

I am what you might call “old school”. I am never OK with butt cheeks hanging out.

Regardless, if that’s the style of your swimsuit that’s one thing. If it’s what you wear to a party that’s another. And if you’re a 40 year old woman wearing that to a party with teens, that takes it to a whole new level of low. This woman would come across as being very insecure and very immature, trying to gain traction with kids who are less than half her age and who are not yet fully adult. Yeeech!!!

It’s how you present yourself to the world. Like it or not, people will judge you- consciously or unconsciously- by your looks and what you do.

Edit. Redacted.

I didnt read
anything onn this thread, too busy drinking beer and oggling some woman in skimpy shorts. Don’t know if her butt cheeks were hanging out, I never got past her legs

And if I have to endure looking at butt cheeks to enjoy a set of million dollar gams, so be it. I’m just old, I’m not dead.

What is they aren’t million dollar gams? Would you still ogle a 60 year old dressed that way?

Some would.

I might. There are some pretty foxy older women out there.
Anyway beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Booty is in the eye of the beholder. ~

That too.

Everything is someone’s fetish.

Fetiish? I just like looking at pretty legs on a woman.

I’m just saying, even if the legs were the kind of legs you’re not into, someone is actively looking for those legs.

Quite possibly.