What if life was exactly how you wanted it to be?
You had your dream car and house. You lived in the city/state/country you’ve always wanted to, you had no financial problems. You had the perfect husband/wife. Everything you’ve ever wanted and or dreamed about was yours. Do you think you would wish for more? Would you be truly happy or would you just find new things to hate?
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22 Answers
Life is a journey not a destination. But $500,000,000, wouldn’t hurt. I would like to have enough food and clothes and housing that fit for a big and tall person. I would always want more.
I have pretty close to those sorts of things. Life is good, mostly. I still wish for what I’ve always wished for, which is more freedom and time to do what I want and work more on the creative work that I want to work on.
And I still am not happy that humans seem to be under the yoke of corruption and are busy making many people & places miserable and destroying the planet and are stuck in awful idea traps and so on.
I would say that for most people there is a real difference between whether their life “works” for them, or not. As you say, finances, love, and life situation (especially if you include health and family), and mental/emotional health, are the big four elements before someone’s life basically “works” well, and they choose what next to do with themselves.
Our culture suffers from a lot of mental/emotional problems, and most people end up stuck not being able to see their own mental/emotional pretzels. So quite a few of our people who do manage to get the material/wealth part done don’t realize they have some personal work to do and that keeps them grasping.
Then I would want it to be some other way.
I would be very satisfied.
I don’t know and have been around long enough to know better than to predict my reaction to perfect contentment.
My, that would probably shatter the world.
In my ideal world, no one I love would die. I would be financially stable and healthy. I would achieve my ultimate dream. But that dream involves doing some rather controversial shit and I would gather lots of haters. Haters and followers would go hand in hand. That would be really messy.
My stupid-ass brain doesn’t know how to be satisfied except in times of great distress. I recently had about 3 years of “everything I ever wanted” – good health, stable relationship, reasonably stable employment, no money problems, a nice place to call home – and I spent them filled with indistinct malaise and inexplicable feelings of dread and no motivation. I cannot explain why I felt that way during what ought to have been a good time, but I did, for reasons seemingly beyond my control.
On the other hand, when I suffer medically, the world suddenly comes into focus and I can appreciate what’s good and I don’t take anything for granted and the unimportant stuff falls away.
Being sick is something I’ve learned how to do.
I haven’t learned how to be well yet.
And that’s why I’m in therapy.
I already have the best wife I could wish for, much better than my sorry azz deserves, so no worries in the domestic field. That said, I could fore shore use a few million dollars, so I could travel and show her the world. We could have a lotta fun if we could shed our money worries. I never had much sympathy for these zillionaire celebs, who do themselves in due to “depression” or drug issues. Tell you what – I’ll take their bank accounts, and they can take my crappy job, then come cry me a river. And I’ll bet, that I can find better things to do with my time, than kill myself or sit around taking drugs and having a pity party.
There is a Garth Brooks song called Unanswered Prayers.
The guy and his wife run into his ex girlfriend from high school and he remembered how in high school how his life would be perfect if he just had that girl as his wife. In the song though, she’s not quite the angel he remembers and he looks at his wife and knows that is the way it was meant to be.
So things you think you want at one age is not necessarily what is best for you later in life.
As I said, I have a great domestic life, but I will take more money with glee. And no B.S. about, hey I am filthy rich, everybody feel sorry for me.
Having a perfect life is of limited value when the world is going to shit.
I feel like even if we all have everything we wanted, we would see someone who had a bit more money, a car or phone that’s better, and we would want the same. I don’t think anyone would ever be truly happy or content with what they have.
I don’t think humans are designed to be happy with stagnancy. Even when things are good, we want occasional change and growth. In that sense it doesn’t seem to me there is any set of conditions that, if satisfied, will make someone happy permanently. (Obviously there are exceptions, I’m speaking as a general rule that I would guess applies to most people.)
@flutherother The world has been going to shit steadily for the past 6,000 years, or the dawning of civilization. What else is new?
I don’t think the world is completely going down. Yes, some things aren’t the best right now and bad things happen, but I don’t think everything is going terribly
@NomoreY_A Industrial excess, overpopulation, and many other unwise policies and systems of thought possibly wiping us out with global warming, ocean acidification, habitat destruction/eradication due to excessive human land use, fresh water crisis, industrial agriculture, lack of crop/general-biological diversity, greatly accelerated human-caused species extinction, nuclear & biological weapons, pollution & accidental industrial disasters… for starters.
The situation promised in the question seems to only apply to my immediate household (my partner and I) and our living situation. Therefore, I don’t think I would be wholly content. I’d still be worried about my extended family and friends. I’d still lose sleep over political strife and poor living conditions that other people face (including many of the issues @Zaku outlines). I’d still berate myself for not doing more to help others, which would make it significantly more difficult to simply enjoy what I have and count my blessings.
I imagine I would be happier, in many ways, but I don’t think it would get rid of my restlessness.
Stagnancy? That is what my life was for several years, and it had nothing to do with having anything I wanted.
Make no mistake, folks, there are lots of people who are capable of contentment.
I am one. I have never concerned myself with what the Joneses have, except lately, in regards to having the physical health to handle simple tasks.
I see neighbors mowing, I feel jealous.
I look at my backyard, and see visions of a garden I have no hope of planting or tending.
My daughter tells me when she has a play, or chorus performance coming to her school, and I cry, because I know she doesn’t want her friends to see her mom in a wheelchair looking like abc gum. So, I stay home.
Stagnant? Gimmee some dat, complete with suv, mom pants, and husband who knows where his dinner gets served up.
The neighbors can drive a Ferrari if they want. As long as I had a car which gets us there and back, I would be a happy lady.
It is possible to be satisfied, for some at least.
People who throw out their big concerns for the world at large are just borrowing trouble. The world will always have some issues afoot.
Well said. And I too think contentment a more realistic and attainable goal.
I’m content and I don’t have that urge for more like people say “we all want as part of our nature” Things have been much worse for me in the past and it makes me thankfull to be where I am right now. If things stay as they are, I’m doing good. I have gainfull emoyment with a managable amount of stress. I’m in good health, I have a good wife, a nice home, some active hobbies, no money issues, good relationships with family… hard to complain. While there are things I would like to see improve anything over my current situation is a bonus. Nobody has a perfect life so there are a few things I’m working on improving. I do not believe the world is going to shit and have a generally positive outlook of the future.
I’d be pouring ice cold water on my smokin’ hot crotch…
ALL.
THE.
TIME!
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