NSFW What are your thoughts on the #metoo and #itwasme movements?

Several of my male friends have been taken aback by how many of their female friends have posted to the hashtag. They have, as a result, begun discussions among their own circle, brainstorming ways they can help change things for the better.

I think this was exactly the desired result, and I am incredibly proud of these friends for doing so.

On the other side of the coin, it’s also had the added benefit of shaking out some real douchebags. One local band kicked out a member for their reaction to the hashtag campaign, and the guy will no longer be bothering the women who attend their shows, as he’s found no likeminded supporters among our crowd.

Every single woman I know has at least been sexually harassed. All of them. That’s half the population.

Every single LGBT person I know has been sexually harassed. All of them. That’s about 7% of the population. Some of those are lesbians who fall into the half mentioned above.

That’s approximately 180,000,000 people. That’s a lot of people.

The number of the people actually doing the harassing is much smaller, but they are responsible for the abuse of 180,000,000 people.

It must also be remembered this is not simply an American problem. This happens across the globe.

There have been attempts to bring this abuse to light in the past. This time feels like something may actually change. As a victim of sexual harassment and abuse myself (#metoo), I support the change.

When the average person begins talking about abuse like we see now, there is a chance for real, lasting change. It will not end the abuse, but it will lessen it. It’s progress, not perfection. Do we want perfection? Sure, but we’ll take progress for now.

Every woman I know has been inappropriately touched. And I agree with everything Seek said.

I have to say I don’t quite get the #Itwasme thing. Are they saying it to confess and be ashamed, or saying “I did it and I don’t give a fuck. I didn’t do anything wrong.”

@Dutchess_III – They’re saying it to say “I recognize I’ve done something inappropriate in the past, I recognize it was wrong, and I promise to change my actions in future.”

An example of an “itwasme” story might be from the former workmate of mine, who, when I was going on a coffee run for the two of us, answered “How do you take yours” with “Just stick your little finger in it, and it’ll be as sweet as I can stand it.”

Y’know, if that guy ever recognized how fucking creepy and uncomfortable that was.

I can’t believe that so many men out there think comments like that make them seem suave and debonaire. Crazy.

OK. Glad to know they recognize how wrong the behavior is and are apologizing. That is really great!
Oh, you would not believe @NomoreY_A. It’s truly insane. And many of those kind are the ones who become angry when you refuse their advances.

I don’t think it will change the culture or change the world – but it may make some men more aware of what is going on around them.

I literally do not know a single woman who has not had many, many instances of sexual harassment and/or abuse.

My first memory of sexual harassment was when I was 12. I was riding my bike in a deserted area and a man in a pickup truck passed me, turned around, and drove by with his hips thrust up, waving his penis at me. He made multiple passes. I was alone, no one around to go to for help, and I was 12. When I was 14, a cousin tried to force me to perform fellatio on him. I was much too afraid and ashamed and embarrassed and scared to tell anyone. I have had a lifetime of being catcalled, having men stare at or comment on the size of my breasts, had strangers rub their genitals against me in subways, buses, and elevators, had men blow up and become angry and abusive when I politely declined an unsolicited invitation, been followed, and actually been physically assaulted.

So yeah, me too.

Shit @syz. That just pisses me off. I am so, so sorry.

I second that sentiment. Inexcusable, animalistic behaviour.

There were so many instances of inappropriate behavior and they were so long ago I don’t even care to remember them. Only time I was traumatized was when I was four and I wasn’t even touched
. The other stuff I classify as “men can be idiots” and let it go. I won’t say “boys will be boys” because that’s politically incorrect. I actually came out of it just fine. But I’m sorry for those who are haunted by their experiences.

I think that women coming forward (and of course men, anyone in fact) will enable other victims to come forward without shame. Whereas before, in some strange way, victims felt the shame of the abuser instead of shaming them. People got away with it because of the silence and they knew that because they are predators and relied on that silence. It’s like taking away their main weapon. I’m so glad it is happening, it is like a wave of bravery. Or, a wave of light shining into dark places.

And how the cockroaches scatter.

I think it’s a positive step.

I don’t know any women who have said they were never inappropriately touched.

Thank the Powers that may be that I’m not a female. I never dreamed it was this bad.
My wife was in an abusive marriage previous to meeting me, but she left after 6 years. We have been together 37 years counting living together a year before we married. Maybe my antics aren’t as bad as I thought?

As one who thinks there should be no statutes of limitations on rape cases, I fully support #metoo.

If someone makes dating them a condition for employment or promotion, then that’s at least extortion. If having sex with them is a condition but they don’t have sex, then that’s attempted rape. If they do have sex under those conditions, then it’s rape.

When I was homeless in San Francisco, on two different occasions I was made to feel that I had to have intimate contact with my benefactors in order to have overnight lodging. I don’t have time to divulge the details now, but I’m sure those experiences of mine pale in comparison to what many others have suffered.

One of my heroes in the movement to overthrow the patriarchal power structure is Amanda Nguyen, who recently sent me the following email:

My name is Amanda Nguyen, and after my rape, I felt despair. So when I met a broken criminal justice system — like so many survivors who found out their rape kits can be destroyed before being tested — I rewrote the law. I founded a team called Rise, a civil rights nonprofit that fights for sexual violence civil rights and we did the impossible. We wrote and passed the Sexual Assault Survivors’ Bill of Rights unanimously through Congress, and 10 more state laws protecting survivors.

When I walked into my local rape crisis center and saw how the waiting room filled up, I realized this experience wasn’t mine alone. This is why I started Rise, because my story is not only my own. There are 25 million rape survivors in America, the sheer amount of #MeToos that flooded my Facebook feed was shocking. I stand in solidarity with everyone who has shared their story through #MeToo. Thank you, to every single person who has shared. There is so much solidarity and strength in numbers to show this impacts everyone, but I also understand how triggering it can be. I’m incredibly grateful for people speaking up to show the ubiquity of sexual violence.

Everyone is critical to campaigns like these and amplifying survivors’ voices. There is a lot of work to be done, but there is so much we can all do. I sincerely believe there is no better time to change the world than today. Join the movement to help us turn the #MeToo Campaign into resources for grassroots organizers who are fighting for change in their local communities across the United States.

And finally I want to say, me too. Me too as a survivor, me too in solidarity with everyone who has shared, me too in fighting for a fairer better world – women and men alike. Thank you, for helping us give survivors the voice and civil rights they deserve.

I wouldn’t be the least bit bothered, if someone branded #itwasme into this guy’s forehead.

What an idiot.