I keep catching my friends hanging out without me. Should I stop talking to them?

Find friend that you can relate, help and grow with. People change. You will change and sometimes the best thing to do so is leave those friends to their own paths as you follow yours in a different route.

I don’t know them or you, but it seems to me that it shouldn’t be an issue for a group of friends to hang out without everyone present. Seems like an opportunity to be friendly with the people who are decent without needing to be part of everything they do all the time, and to not have to bother with the people who behave badly.

Why be friendly with people who are “shitty” at all?

I found school social games to be way too annoying, personally.

Thank you for asking us this question. I read your details.

It’s obvious that you’re still young. This situation won’t be the first time you discover your friends have lives apart from the time they spend with you.

You have 3 choices:
1. Be upset that they are spending time without you, and be miserable.
2. Choose to concentrate on the time you spend together, and enjoy that time when it arises, and stop worrying about the time you’re not with them.
3. End the friendship.

It’s your choice.

I once had a boyfriend who was difficult to pin down to spend time together. I had the same choices. I could have wanted more and been miserable wanting what he wasn’t going to give. Or I could enjoy the times we were together and release my need for more time with him. Or I could end the relationship. I chose to enjoy the time he offered, and I was very happy with the decision. Later, the relationship ended naturally and on good terms, but it would not have ended nicely if I’d made another choice.

Good luck to you.

Do you ever initiate social gatherings?

Aside from malicious intent, its unnecessary to “end” a friendship. That is to say, there doesn’t need to be a declaration specifying a new order to the relationship. You and these friends hung out for awhile, and despite this present lull, you might still one day. Any declaration to the contrary promotes unnecessary complications to that eventual possibility. Friends come and go, not only by the passage of time, but with specific activities or interests. Just as you wouldn’t take your automotive needs to a pet store, you should realize that each person in your life fills a specific niche, and you for them. If I want to watch an anime with someone, I call my friend(s) who would enjoy that sort of thing. I don’t distance or declare insolence on my friends who don’t harbor that interest, for those are the ones I might call up next to go to the beach, or probe for serious advice. If you’ve grown apart recently, that’s fine. Making a fuss over it would be a mistake driven by egotism. Make some new friends, keep the old, and allow for a more dynamic interaction between the variations. If these guys hit you up one day to hangout, and you want to, then go ahead without the disdain your ego demands or expectations in permanency. Likewise, if you don’t want to hangout, then don’t, without malice, and feel no obligations to the contrary.

From the sound of it, if you stop talking to them, it’s not going to affect them much, I’m sorry to say.

You can’t change what they do. But the good news is that you can change what you do. And that’s what will affect you the most.

It sounds to me as if you need a clearer idea of what friendship is and how to be a friend. Can you think of any movie or TV show you like that shows people participating in a genuine friendship? Learn how to behave like a friend and you won’t have to worry about “catching” your friends enjoying one another’s company without you.

It’s not like they’ve signed a contract that will only allow them to hang out with you. You sound like an introvert to me, someone who have strong relationship but only to a handful amount of people. You must have felt being left out by those group of friends but fear not, for there are other people who have the same friendship loyalty just like you. Go out or go online and find new friends that have the same needs and wants as you. It sounds like those friends of yours don’t feel that your company is vital for their social activities and you certainly don’t need people like that.

@Esedess Such a great answer you have given : ^)

@Adagio Thank you! =}

To me no need to end the friendship because in reality not everything really count.