Whats the best way to kill a person with a cucumber, in Hyderabad?

Use it to sabotage an appliance they are about to use, causing it to explode. Set it up so the spam-sponsoring appliance service center gets blamed.

Set up a fake company Cucumbers R Us offering prime cucumbers at cut price rates flown in to Hyderabad daily from the leading cucumber growing areas of the United States. Once trade is well established simply substitute one ton of green coloured cucumber shaped dynamite and wait for the bang.

Have you ever been there? I have.

Just stand still, hold the cucumber above your head and yell “Who wants this?”. Then toss it to the intended victim. He will be buried alive in a sea of less fortunate souls.

If you want to travel there, I’ll send you some seed money .

You do have a twisted mind, @LuckyGuy. I knew there was a reason beyond you superb engineering chops that I liked you.

And you’re right, too.

You would have to be out of your gourd to use a cucumber: use any other vegetable other than a cucumber. Using a cucumber is not cool and will get you into a pickle with the authorities. Assault with a cucumber is considered a big dill with Indian authorities. They will send the Gherkins to arrest you.

Harvest the bounty of seeds from within the cucumber. Plant them around your intended victim, where they’ll grow and thrive in the Hyderabadian sun. The person will find himself engulfed by enormous cucumber plants, unable to escape and difficult to breathe. For a while, he’ll sustain and hydrate himself by eating cucumbers, but that’ll get old.

This is a long-term approach, but I do believe it would be very effective.

Shove it part way down their throat and duct tape their mouths shut.

quickly.

Dress as a herd of cows and stampede him.
No idea why the cucumber…

what do you have against people with cucumbers that you would want to kill them?

^Not people with cucumbers.
A cucumber, as a weapon.
Death by cucumber…

^ ”... in Hyderabad”. That was an important distinction.

^Yes. Life, is in the details…

Moths are NEVER innocent! —I should know.—