If you get detained by the rozzers and then proceed to release a massive, stinking fart inside their car, will you be charged with anything?

No. Not unless you light it.

Not necessarily. I don’t think there are any laws against it, unless you are doing it on purpose and combining it with other offensive behavior that is chargeable.

Whether they charge you for something else because you farted I expect depends on the officers, their imagination and mood, your other behavior and chargeworthiness. I think in general it probably wouldn’t make them like you more, so that might incline them to charge you, especially if they have other reasons to dislike you. If they don’t dislike you and were on the fence about charging you and it’s not too late for them to back out, I suppose they might take it as a reason to cut you loose.

No charge, they’ll just kill you.

Rozzer?

@elbanditoroso It’s London slang for police.

Assault with a silent-but-deadly weapon? ~

Here the police can charge you but they can’t prosecute. They write up a report for the Procurator Fiscal and he decides, in a less highly charged atmosphere shall we say, whether it is in the public interest for the prosecution to go ahead. In this case, though the police might want to charge I don’t think they would as the Procurator Fiscal is very unlikely to proceed with it.

They might return the favor.

It can put a stop to questioning.