Should men have any real say, in any kind of abortion debate?

If you remember a while back a rep/con politician stated that a woman couldn’t get pregnant from a rape because her body shuts down from the traumatic experience,really??
and it’s idiots like this that make laws that affect millions of women.

No one should have any real say in any kind of abortion decision except for the person getting the abortion and the medical professional providing it. But if you shut people out of the public debate, it ceases to be a public debate and instead becomes a public performance. It is simultaneously one of the most admirable and frustrating elements of living in a free society that everyone gets to put their two cents in, from the elder statesman to the village idiot.

This doesn’t mean that everyone has a right to a platform from which to spout their views. Sometimes you have to buy your own megaphone. And of course, the elder statesman is free to ignore the village idiot—just as the village idiot is free to ignore the elder statesman. But neither gets to impose their views on the other, even if they are right. Again, it is both admirable and frustrating. The alternatives have proven far worse, however, and with less room for even gradual improvement.

Of course. In case of surrogacy, once the contract has already been signed the surrogate mother wouldn’t have any legal power to abort the baby (terms and condition applied according to the contract). For other cases, the one who own the body is the one who has any say for this issue. Ya wanna have any say in childbirth? Get your own vagina lol.

I Googled the cost of raising a child until 18 years old and Google said it was $233,610. Around 13K per year so that seems about right.

So listen up dudes. We should make a contract. If you want to have a say you need to pay 13K a year. If you fail to make a payment the state cuts off your cock and balls. Wanna shake hands on that?

Who are you to tell men that they can’t have a say?

I’m all for killing foetuses. I’d even decriminalise infanticide. Pregnant women are the hosts of their miniature human parasites, and I couldn’t care less whether they let them grow until birth or abort them (even after birth).

But most arguments against abortion have little to no regard for the autonomy of the mother. The arguments they use are about the supposed sacredness of a few clumps of cells or some unthinking proto-infant with no self-awareness, in which case it matters not whether the anti-abortion proponent is male or not.

Plenty of women, including childless women, oppose abortion. Their arguments don’t suddenly have greater merit or credibility just because they’re women. The justifications and rationalisations can be just as silly as any man’s. They don’t give a damn about the autonomy or agency of any mother contemplating an abortion and are no better or worse than male anti-abortionists in this regard.

What I’m trying to say is is that your objection seems to have an element of projection. You’re arguing as if everyone shares or should share your regard for the decision making power of the mother. But for anti-abortionists, the foetus is sacred, and the mother’s decision making is subordinate to it—a mere vessel with a duty of care for the “sacred” thing she hosts.

Of course, men are part of society too and it is an issue for society to discuss. I mean discuss rather than ramming any particular view down anyone’s throat and bearing particularly in mind how the pregnant woman feels about it.

The woman didn’t get pregnant alone. There was a man involved somewhere along the way. If that man is interested in being involved with the outcome of a pregnancy, why should he be excluded? We put the importance of child support squarely on the shoulders of the father (as it should be), but we take away his importance in the beginning? Seems a bit hypocritical.

@seawulf575 -

No, the man doesn’t have a “say” in whether a woman he impregnated carries the infant to term.
Yes they are both involved in conception. However, it’s a similar difference to the commitment to a breakfast sandwich between the chicken and the pig.

It’s not a simple yes or no.

If a woman is impregnated because of rape, then NO, the man has no say whatsoever.

If a woman is impregnated with sperm from a sperm bank, then the man has no say whatsoever.

If a woman is impregnated ‘normally’ whether a one night stand or an ongoing relationship, then he should have some say – not veto power, not the ability to force the woman to do what she doesn’t want to do, but he should have some say and at least listened to.

The woman always has the final say (unless the woman lives in Texas, Mississippi, Alabama, and a host of other states).

Men should not have a say in anything, really.

If a couple has consensual sex that results in pregnancy then yes the man should have some say when the woman decides to have the child.

No, not really. If they have some comment to make, go ahead. But otherwise, keep out of it!!!

I don’t see why men can’t have some say. It is half their genetic material. But if they vote nay, they have to pay child support for sure and probably need to take an active role in raising the child.

By the way, I only think men should have a say of they were participating in birth control.

Only the father. And if he is against the wishes of the mother he should
a: be required to pay the mother for the 9 months she is required to carry to term and
b: take full responsibility for it once it is born.

@elbanditoroso I’m curious what that say looks like if it can’t result in a change in the ultimate decision. Isn’t that just a nicer way of saying he has no say? Unless you can elaborate on what you mean.

@OP It’s unfortunate that we can’t make things perfectly just and equal here but there is no way we can give the man control over the fetus when it lives in the woman’s body. She has bodily autonomy so it has to be her call alone.

My BF pushed me into having an abortion, in college.
I think most men who say they’re against it would seriously consider it if a pregnancy were to challenge their political or corporate power, or even a relationship.

It’s a woman’s choice but if the man does not want the child he should not be forced to pay for it.

Why not @ARE_you_kidding_me?

I can sorta see what @ARE_you_kidding_me is getting at but unless the couple is married,if the guy wants nothing to do with the child then he should totally sign away any interest in the child and totally stay out of the childs life forever.

Lose all parental rights.

Exactly @Dutchess_III .

And make it known up front, not when the child is 2 years old.

Couldn’t agree more.^

@Mariah – good question, I’m glad you asked it, because I thought about it when I wrote my original response.

Ultimately the woman has the final choice. But I feel that the guy has a right to be heard, to make his case, to try and convince the woman. He may not be successful. But he’s at least a stakeholder in the decision, even if he isn’t the final decision maker.

I liken it to a court trial. You may not the win the case, but you have the right to make your case.

Yes exactly. There needs to be legal precedence though. A guy should not be allowed to change his mind last min or after the fact.
There is also the uncomfortable situation that even if he signs away all interest that child may try to track them down. Men have almost no rights when it comes to things like this. I have always championed just staying the hell away from casual sex. Just don’t screw anyone you would not raise a child with.

It is my reasoning that a man that impregnated her should be informed of that fact first and foremost as some men do indeed want to marry and keep his child.
If he did not know about it then the woman takes the responsibility and blame onto her solely..IF SHE DOES NOT give the man a choice in the matter. Presuming of course that it was not rape or unconsented sex that took place.
I have heard stories of fathers that would had married or took care of their child IF they had known about it. ( Adoption stories gone bad). Give the child a chance first and BOTH decide together. ( but with exceptions).

Have not yet read any of the other answers, will do so after posting.

Until a male (father, or carrier, or whatever else he may be) can and does actually carry a child inside of his own body and will bear that child, the only say he has is to be supportive of his wife/sister/mother/carrier of his child or relative. He has absolutely NO say, in reality, of what a woman does with HER body. And any child growing within her body, is a part of HER body. That’s a fact, whether anyone wants to believe it, or like it.

I would honestly say, that I wish we(men) had a say. But, I do not. This falls under the “it is what it is” category.

It’s part if the risk we assume when having unprotected sex.
You could be emotionally destroyed, because you feel like your kid died.
Or you could “prefer” the abortion(given circumstances), and still have no say.

This is a touchy, subject for me, but I will always side with the female’s right to do what she feels necessary. Even if it saddens me deeply…

Nope.

Absolutely not. It’s not our body. Just my own two cents. As my old pappy used to say, if you dip your wick, use an umbrella. If you mess up and get her preggers and you can’t or won’t man up, the woman has every right to do as she chooses.

I knew I knew you @Nomore_lockout!

@ Dutchess_III But but but what did I do? Gulp.. think what we have here is case of mistaken identity. I admit I was a player back in the day, but – hey look, an owl!

It’s a butterfly, Nitwit!

SO it is, so it is! Whew,,,, close one.