LOL. Casablanca is one of my favorite films. The very best lines were delivered by Claude Rains, playing the cynical, laconic, corrupt, but good humored Captain Renault. He is hilarious in Casablanca. The guy has seen so much crap go down in real life that he couldn’t care less who wins the war anymore—and cares even less about all the intrigue around him as long it doesn’t affect him personally. He’s decided that he will survive, in style if possible, and not be nuisance to anyone in the process.
Rick: And remember, this gun is pointed right at your heart.
Captain Renault: That is my least vulnerable spot.
My favorite Rains’ line is at the end of this conversation:
[Rick and Renault discussing Victor Laszlo’s chances of escaping Casablanca]
Captain Renault: This is the end of the chase.
Rick: Twenty thousand francs says it isn’t.
Captain Renault: Is that a serious offer?
Rick: I just paid out twenty. I’d like to get it back.
Captain Renault: Make it ten. I’m only a poor corrupt official.
Captain Renault: Rick, there are many exit visas sold in this café, but we know that you’ve never sold one. That is the reason we permit you to remain open.
Rick: Oh? I thought it was because I let you win at roulette.
Captain Renault: That is another reason.
Rick: How can you close me up? On what grounds?
Captain Renault: I’m Shocked, SHOCKED, SHOCKED to find that gambling is going on in here!
[a croupier hands Renault a pile of money]
Croupier: Your winnings, sir.
Captain Renault: [sotto voce] Oh, thank you very much.
Captain Renault: EVERYBODY OUT AT ONCE!
And his efforts at CYA while the Gestapo is in town breathing down his neck
Captain Renault: Realizing the importance of the case, my men are rounding up twice the usual number of suspects.
Captain Renault: Hello Rick.
Rick: Hello Louis.
Captain Renault: How extravagant you are, throwing away women like that. Someday they may be scarce. You know, now I think I shall pay a call on Yvonne. Maybe get her on the rebound. Hmm?
Rick: When it comes to women, you’re a true democrat.
Captain Renault: Carl, see that Major Strasser gets a good table, one close to the ladies.
Carl: I have already given him the best, knowing he is German and would take it anyway.
Bogart had some great lines as well. My favorite was when he is sitting at the table with Renault and two Gestapo officers:
Major Strasser: What is your nationality?
Rick: I’m a drunkard.
Captain Renault: That makes Rick a citizen of the world.