My brother just asked me to get ordained and marry him and his fiance at Thanksgiving, what do I say?

If you are uncomfortable doing it, just tell your brother “No, it will not be possible for me to become ordained and perform the marriage ceremony.” If he asks why, just repeat your first answer. Don’t argue; don’t explain.

Tell him he can get married at the courthouse or at a wedding chapel.

I would let go of the judgement. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be married earlier.

If thanksgiving is the only day that the whole family gets together, then that may be the reason. But then I don’t know why he wouldn’t say so. Maybe he wants a small intimate wedding and she wants the big one. So the small intimate one will feel like the real deal and the big one will feel more like an after celebration party to him. Or maybe she’s giving him indications that she is getting cold feet as she plans the big wedding and he figures this will help take the pressure off. Or maybe an ex is sniffing around her and he wants to lock it down before he gets his foot in the door.
As for what do you say? Say no if don’t want to do it. It does seem strange that he won’t give a reason. I would assume that it may be something that would give you pause.

@Pandora has a point. Have you spoken with your possible soon to be sister in law and found out how she feels about this whole set-up? She might also be more forthcoming with the reason.

@rojo yeah that’s my next course of action. I wanted to get some other opinions before I asked her. I have only met her a couple times though so I’m not entirely sure I can trust her to keep our conversation in confidence yet (trust has to be earned).

@Battousai87 I have found that asking one member of a couple to keep a secret from their partner is a losing game so I wouldn’t go that route. It’s a trust issue between the couples not about you. I was told once not to say anything to one DIL that I didn’t want her to tell my son.

If you don’t want to do it in any case, his reasons don’t matter. If you are willing in some circumstances, than say what they are and let him decide whether to tell or not. In any case, you need to be upfront with him and be prepared for the consequences.

If your going to marry the two of them, then you should be talking to the other half.

Justice of the Peace; not you would be my solution.

FYI, I have a couple of friend who paid their bucks and became ordained ministers. One for a joke and one because he was asked to marry someone (both have actually done so since getting their license). But, and it has been many years ago, I seem to recall they still had to register with the state they resided in. Their ordination came from some company in California.
You might check into you states requirements for performing a marriage ceremony. It may be more than just getting a piece of paper.

@tropical_willie yeah that’s sort of where I’m leaning. I would be fine with it if it weren’t me on short notice. I’m a little skeptical of the online ordination thing too…

@rojo yeah that was the first thing I looked into if it was even possible. It seems that the Universal Life Church is accepted in Florida, googled it and found that there have been a lot of ULC ordained people performing marriages in Florida already. I did sign up on their site just in case it takes time for their “paperwork” to get to me. It was free which also makes me a little bit wary lol

Have they gotten the marriage license?

It is good for 60 days and in most cases has a three day waiting period before the ceremony.

@tropical_willie honestly I have no idea. If it takes 60 days for that then this is definitely not happening in 17 days. He literally asked me to get ordained to marry the two of them at Thanksgiving, then got mad when I started asking why the rush :-/

The license IS GOOD for 60 days!

@tropical_willie sorry I misread (that’s what I get for trying to do this while I’m working lol)

The best excuse to say is that you’re afraid/don’t feel like to disobey your mother. That way, you can get out of this situation and you don’t have to make him think that you disagree with his idea. Until he gives you a reliable reason for his request the best thing to do is to decline the his request. There are always other people who can do it better if such a thing must really be performed.

They aren’t asking you for help in planning their tax obligations, their lives, or anything else. They are asking if you will get the license and perform the ceremony. If you don’t want to, say no. I don’t see the issue, though.

I can understand wanting to get the legal aspect over and done with (since there are a lot of legal benefits that come with in) and having the big ceremony later, but if he’s just wanting the legal aspect for now they can simply go to the courthouse and do that. No need to hassle you with that shit.

Besides, you’re obviously uncomfortable with it otherwise you wouldn’t be asking the question. So just say “No, I’m not comfortable with this. Thank you for thinking of me.”

Do it, and charge him for it.
Up front, of course, with a hefty profit for yourself.

“Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.”
– Ferengi Rules of Acquisition #6

I agree with all who say if you’re uncomfortable with it, just gently say no. If this is that important to them, they can ask a friend, who won’t feel compromised by convoluted family issues.