Am I Transgender?

A couple of things comes to mind:
– Do you have anything else to convince yourself that you are a trans, like feeling more attracted to men or having certain behavior that looks like a female?
– Have you been pressured into acting like a man throughout your life and when you failed to do so were you punished harshly?
– How has your social life been? I mean, who did you interact with as a kid? Did you go out often with your friends? How about now?
– You said you had autism. Do you feel being misunderstood all the time? When you were young did you try to find out who you were in general and to find any kind of “tribe” to belong?
– And last but not least, where do you live?

It’s not for me or anyone else to decide what your gender identity is.

I’d recommend reaching out for support from others who have been in your shoes, and may have had the same questions as you. They can give firsthand advice that I’m not qualified or knowledgeable enough to give.

Here are a few I’ve found:
The Transgender Boards
Susan’s Place
Transgender Pulse

There is no way we could tell you what you are nor should we. There is a whole range of gender identities and sexual orientations for people to explore. Gender identity is not necessarily binary; I have a gay friend who has a husband (my friend is male), a beard and wears beautiful women’s clothes but he does not identify as transgender.

It helps sometimes to label oneself, but it might be easier (or possibly harder but more helpful) to just focus on who you are as a person and what you’d like to be. If you are in a very conservative place, maybe you could think about moving out of your home to an area to would let you explore more freely.

@Muad_Dib‘s suggestions of online sites to explore could be a good place to start. If you can find a local community of LBGTQQ (the second Q is for questioning as you are) that would be great. A local community college might have such a group.

Welcome to Fluther. This can be a compassionate place to ask questions. Take your time and explore. Best of luck to you!

I agree with others that you need to seek out others who are questioning or who are transgender.

I would not worry about the therapists that you have seen unless they were specialists in gender dysphoria.

Do some more exploring and thinking about your sexuality before you decide anything, but you should not let someone else from outside yourself impose theirs views on you of what you are.

Maybe you are, but one online question is not sufficient to know.
Men can wonder from time to time what it is like to be “pretty” and delicate. That does not mean they are gay or trans.
Autism can throw a whole other spin on things. Persons autistic have a variety of sensitivities which dominate their lives. This can leave the person questioning all sorts of things about themselves. I think you should try hard to get involved with as many autistic people as you can. Autism is a kooky thing, in that it affects each person in different ways.
Since you are not sure whether you are transgender, but you do know you are autistic, I feel that is where you should start. Just get to know other adults living with autism, there are groups online. Facebook is one place to look. Sort out how you feel about all sorts of things. Perhaps also talk with parents of some autistic teens. Once you have at least two or three friends you can talk about autism with openly, then get a therapist to help you sort out what you are discovering, and what still confuses you.
Persons with autism tend to question themselves a lot, about how are they different, how are they acceptable, can they be “fixed”, can they be understood.
I think it will help you a lot to find some others who live with that struggle.
The most important thing is not are you transgender or not. The most important thing is to understand yourself better, so you can love whoever you are.

Great answers above. One thing I would like to correct is this question from @Mimishu1995 – “Do you have anything else to convince yourself that you are a trans, like feeling more attracted to men”

Being transgender has nothing to do with who you are attracted to. Sexual orientation is not the same as gender identity or gender expression. Being transgender does not imply any specific sexual orientation. Therefore, transgender people may identify as straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, etc.
https://www.hrc.org/resources/sexual-orientation-and-gender-identity-terminology-and-definitions

No one here can tell you what you are as a person. That is for you to decide and you only.

Thank you for asking this question.

No one – not even doctors – gets to decide if you are transgender. Only you get to decide that.

You can wear whatever clothes you want and be transgender.

I will add my voice and suggest you explore the links that @Muad_Dib found. You can also find more links on your own. Talk to others who are transgender.

Lots of good answers above. I’m transgender and I wanted to highlight a couple that were important to me. From @Hawaii_Jake—“You can wear whatever clothes you want and be transgender.”. Transgender is a broad umbrella term that covers a range of gender identities. Many people just associate it with transexual and that full transition and surgery are required. It was a major epiphany for me when I realized that regardless how I was dressed I was still transgender.

This is also related to @janbb comment “but it might be easier (or possibly harder but more helpful) to just focus on who you are as a person and what you’d like to be.”. It’s very freeing to just be you and find people that accept you.

Resources that were important for me (in addition to the ones @Muad_Dib suggested) were my local support group and www.urnotalone.com. Many larger cities will have support groups that provide a safe place to talk and socialize.