Do I have a right to stuff I left at my childhood home?
My mother died in May and wrote me out of the Will because we were estranged at the time of her death.
Mom left everything, including the family home (worth $900K), to my 22-year-old daughter. This has caused animosity between my daughter and myself, and we no longer speak.
My daughter is making all sorts of changes to the house in which I grew up, and it’s making me extremely anxious. She might throw out things that have sentimental value to me, and I want to retrieve the items that are unquestionably MINE (old yearbooks, toys, clothes, etc.).
Do I have a right to try to get my stuff back? Or, since I am estranged from both my mother and my daughter, have I given up all rights to any property left behind?
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7 Answers
Maybe you can talk it out with your daughter. If she would rather throw away your stuff, than let you have it, you have bigger problems.
I recommend you focus on your relationship with your daughter. The other stuff should be trivial, in comparison to having a good relationship with her.
Possession is important. If you don’t possess it, it’s harder to prove that it’s yours…
Really, all you can do is ask. Legally, you are likely to have no rights at all pertaining to valueless items that were in the house.
I am estranged from my mother as well, but I figured, when I did that, that I have had to let all the stuff that might have sentimental value go.
I am sorry you are having to go through all this, these kinds of family issues are painful and difficult.
No, there is no “right” to get that stuff. Better to work on reconciliation with your daughter so that this legacy of estrangement ends.
It has been in your late mother’s house all these years, if it had been of real value to you, you would have retrieved it long ago.
Morally, possibly you do.
Legally, you don’t.
It’s obvious that there is much more to the story than “I was estranged from my mother” and “my daughter and I don’t talk”.
Why don’t you try:
“Dear, I know we are not in good terms, but if you don’t mind, I’d like to keep old books and some things I had when I was growing up that may get on your way while you make the house your home”
Otherwise, you have no right to retrieve anything…
I don’t know what your daughter would gain by not letting you have your stuff. Maybe just the satisfaction of being evil to you?
But if she does throw it all away, just remember that it’s just stuff and the memories are all in your heart and head. Don’t spend too much time pining for the things you lost. Start new memories with people you enjoy and care about.
Ask about the things that are definitely YOURS that she might throw away or whatever. Don’t sweat the big stuff that isn’t defined specifically as yours. “Reaching out in friendship is never wrong.”
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