Should I feel guilty?

Briefly, at this time of year in particular, I sometimes reminisce about a girl I loved years ago. We parted ways amicably after agreeing that we didn’t have the maturity to give married life a shot. I was 19 she was 16 and had a toddler from the previous relationship. I loved her and the child but I knew I could be facing jail time or a shotgun wedding or both if we persued it. I heard from a mutual friend of ours a few years back, that she had told him that she still loved me and always would. Not what I wanted to hear. I think about her during the holidays because it was after Christmas we broke up. If I may say one thing in my defense I would never ever leave my current wife. So I never thought it necessary to mention this to her. At any rate she had a serious flame in her life as well sho sadly was killed in a car wreck. When she told me about it she was sobbing in my arms. So am I a dirtbag if I still have love for a girl from so long ago? I mean I feel no animosity toward my wife or her former love, I just feel sad for them. Jellies of the jury I throw myself at your mercy. And I promise more mushy personal shit.

You know, there’s a saying that says you’ll never get over your first love.
As long as you don’t pursue it, and you still love your wife. I think it’s ok.

On edit – the child wasn’t mine. If he had been I’d have married her in a heartbeat and been happy to do so. Wanted to clarify that.

Thanks Ms. Sergeant Queen

@Sergeant Queen… I love my wife more than anything in the universe. Never planned to persue the other situation, when our old freind called he was the one who brought HER up. In was convinced I was long forgotten and she wouldn’t remember me from Adam. It is what it is I guess.

No you love who you love.

Magnanimous me 1. Anus Cavity me 0. So far this this is progressing nicely.

Absolutely. But that’s not why you should feel guilty.

Now its going down hill. Oh well… Thats what I get for bringing up personal shit in here.

@Rarebear. Why?

Two years ago I lost a dear friend, and I still don’t have the courage to touch my Skype account because we used to talk on Skype. I only started to use Skype recently because I need to connect with another friend. Before that I didn’t even have the courage to touch Skype. Everything the forced me to use Skype made me cringe. Ironically, I couldn’t use Skype but I still kept it on my computer for no reason. I just couldn’t bear seeing my memory disappear.

The recent incident that forced me to use Skype taught me to just let sleeping dogs lie, although I could still treasure good memory. Without it I couldn’t even move on.

I like sentiment Mimi. About letting a sleeping dog lay but still treasuring the memory.

I don’t know why anyone should feel guilty for occasional thoughts. Why would you think maybe you should?

Because of being married but still loving a woman from my (remote) past. Now and then a damned scent of a particular perfume or two particular songs will trigger the memories.

@NomoreY_A IMHO There is nothing to feel guilty about for having feelings for girlfriend from years ago. As you said, you love your wife and would never think of leaving her. I think we can love more than one person. Each in different ways. I hope you find peace with this. God Bless.

I think all of us think of past loves every now and then. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. If you are certain that you love your wife and have no intention of pursuing a relationship with this lady from your past, then it’s fine to feel what you feel.

Put your thoughts of her into a nice little spot inside your heart and let them live there forever. Don’t beat yourself up about what-ifs, and thoughts. Everybody has those.

Having love and feelings and memories doesn’t make you a dirtbag. Where you might have gone wrong was in leaving the girl you loved all those years ago but I don’t know the full circumstances that led to this.