How can my ex keep our older, sick daughter from harassing him by phone?

Ask him to block her number or get a new number and don’t tell her what it is.

He probably has enough grounds for a restraining order. If she violates that, he can then involve the police.

If elder abuse is a crime in your state (as it is in mine), she could be in some serious trouble. I think your ex needs a lawyer. There may be a senior services agency that offers free legal services.

Meanwhile he should carefully document incidents, including exact quotes, dates and times, and the distress she causes. He should save any harassing texts. Can he also record the phone calls? A restraining order requires facts.

I think he scared her into silence when he threatened her legally. She called me and I think I detected fear.
He has three phone numbers. I don’t know why he didn’t block her from all three but it could be , as my husband believes, he gets some sort of sick pleasure out of their decades long fights.

Depending on just how demented your daughter is, it is possible that just “a charge” of senior abuse, delivered in whatever official manner that takes in her state – “unfortunately” since I’ve never been charged with a crime, I have no idea how that is actually done – could put the fear of god in her (as it is said) and get her to stop or tone things down.

For him to make the charge would not automatically result in “jail time”, because she would have to be formally charged, arraigned or indicted, then stand trial – in which he would have to assist the prosecution in some way (and then be eligible for cross-examination by her attorney) – and THEN she would have to receive a prison sentence. (The prison sentence itself, even if the conviction was obtained, is probably unlikely in any case if this is her first such offense, or if she doesn’t have an otherwise violent record, and if there is no violence in the current complaint or history, and since she’s “only” harassing him by phone – and also assuming there is no other crime going on, such as blackmail, extortion, fraud, etc.)

If he’s seriously upset and is also serious about pressing a complaint, then have him call the police in her town, clearly establish his identity with them – so that they know this isn’t a setup or prank call – and make a formal complaint. They may need to do nothing more than show up at her doorstep and advise that the complaint has been made – nothing more than that! – to help put an end to it.

If this would involve him having to confer with lawyers and possibly drive out of state then I’m sure he’ll stop the entire thing. I don’t think she’ll call him anymore at least not for a couple months. Thank you.