Would it bother you if your S/O somehow let you know that he or she prefers a woman / man that possessed a trait you didn't have?

It would be rude. I’ve had one ex that didn’t like my long hair and the fact Thai wasn’t tall. Another guy, on a first date, asked me if he could call me another name because he didn’t like mine. I made him take me back home.

Lordy!!

My Ex preferred androgynous looking tall women. It never really bothered me while I believed he loved me and was attracted to me.

I don’t know, but it would certainly surprise me. It is so unlike the wife to complain about my superficial “shotcomings” other than those around “fouling the nest”. On that point she is relentless and it has the profound effect of bending me to her will. But my poor wife must always have “something” with which she is dissatisfied. And since she retired, she has developed these fits of discovery about dust behind the furniture or the awful condition of the paint on the walls in the closets. I am immune to such complaints, until the command arrives out of the blue to move all of furniture from the bedroom including the bed.

My wife and I are so close that I can’t imagine her telling me anything like rude or hurtfull like that, nor me her. If you truly love somone why would you hurt them? I just cant fathom some peoples behavior these days.

It would depend on just how close I felt to this SO of mine. If I had a hard time getting along with her I’d show her the door and tell her not to let it hit her in the ass on her way out.
If we had a good thing going she’d have the trust and knowledge that she could trust me enough to tell me, and that I’d look her lovingly in the eye and say, “So?”

I just might buy a box of dye to make him happy…..at least for awhile. It could be fun.

A little bit. Depends on the circumstances…

I thought about this overnight before I answered.

Quick answer: If the thing was something I can do something about, and it doesn’t detract from the essential ‘me’, I might try to address the complaint.

But if it’s something beyond my control (baldness, size of sexual equipment, height), then there’s nothing I can do about it anyway, so I’m not going to worry about it. If she wants to look at others, so what? As long as she comes home with me, she can look.

It’s one thing to know that your husband finds a particular actress attractive (everybody finds lots of people attractive) but it’s very insensitive if that person also tells you that he wishes you looked more like her, or suggest that you dye your hair to that woman’s color so you’d be more attractive, or change anything about yourself to look more like that other person. It’s rude and mean.

My husband loves, LOVES Jennifer Lopez!

As long as he loves you more, then it’s all good isn’t it?

I think he does!