If I think it, but don't say it, is it still body shaming?
Asked by
josie (
30934
)
January 11th, 2018
On a recent flight to DC, I sat next to a person who was so fat that the normal seat belt would not fit around them and I was displaced laterally in my own seat, to the extent that the flight personnel and their carts were banging my shoulder the whole flight.
I couldn’t help but wonder why anybody would let that happen to themselves and also why she didn’t pay more for the seat, or maybe why I don’t get a discount for the inconvenience.
I also though it was disgusting.
But, I did not say anything. I simply leaned left until I could get off the airplane.
Is that body shaming?
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7 Answers
Yes. And thinking about traveling requires a passport.
No. How can it be shaming if the person (the target) is not shamed and made to feel bad? Unless the ‘shamee’ feels shame, no shaming has taken place.
That doesn’t let you off the hook. You’re still a rude slug, but no one can tell you what to think internally.
You can think whatever you want. It’s when you open your big, fat mouth that you get into trouble.
I’m sorry. I think I was mouth shaming you.
I abhor your thoughts. If people could lose weight by will alone, then there would not be an epidemic of obesity in this country. However, Since you did not voice your thoughts (thankfully), you were not fat shaming anyone. Was the plane full? You could have gone to the front of the cabin (or rear, whichever was closer) and asked if there was another open seat.
In case it makes a difference to your lack of compassion, the overweight person was already ashamed to have to ask for a seat belt extender. Also, he or she was very aware of trespassing into your space and probably agonized about it the whole flight, trying to hold themselves in with all of their muscles.
I would say to not beat yourself up too badly. You are human. There isn’t a person alive that doesn’t make judgments about others based on their looks. It sounds as if you handled it well.
@marinelife
Abhor- According to Merriam Webster online-“to regard with extreme repugnance : to feel hatred or loathing for”
Do you really find me repugnant? Do you actually hate and loathe me? And my thoughts are me. They are the only thing that make me different than all the other Homo sapiens.
Be honest. You can’t hurt me. I don’t care one way or the other. Just curious.
@josie I meant what I said. I do abhor your thoughts in this case. Particularly, “I though [sic] it was disgusting.” But I did not say, and nor do I, abhor you.
I am sorry that you think that you are only made up of your thoughts. In my world, people are made up of so much more: their feelings, their belief systems, among other things.
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