How can it be natural that true love isn't a choice if it helds the heart hostage?

Define True Love please?

The one that lasts always.

Okay, not sure of your age but time is the only judge on true love or infatuation. Your sentence structure is hard to understand so if I didnt answer please tell me.

It’s the word ‘hostage’ that bothers me. A hostage generally means that a person is held against his/her will waiting for some exchange of value to be freed.

But if you are in love, you are surrendering your emotions voluntarily and with free will, so you can’t, by definition, be a hostage.

@elbandit Maybe he loves her despite not being ready or against logic?

@KNOWITALL – can it be love, then, or is it infatuation?

@elbandit I really need more info but I’ll say its possible. Divorce rates would say its unlikely.

I have a feeling this is a bad paraphrase of some kind quote.

Because love isn’t a choice and that has nothing to do with what effects it has.

Seems pretty clear to me.

How can it be natural that true love isn’t a choice if it holds the heart hostage?

People are drawn together by their biological and emotional needs, which are experienced as feelings of the heart. However, these attractive forces are not love. They are the soil out of which love may grow as the relationship deepens.

Initially, the desire to satisfy these needs masks the totality of the persona that each brings into the relationship. As one becomes increasingly conscious of the other’s character unanticipated aspects become apparent, some of which may be unpleasant. It is at this point that one will struggle with conflicting feelings, wanting to be closer yet wanting to flee.

True love requires the love of one’s self. The immature individual will find it difficult to preserve their deeper sense of self, choosing instead to deny the reality of the relationship. Surrendering to the demands of their heart and denying the need for self-respect makes one hostage. The more mature will accept that it is better to endure the pain of separation than to submit their irrational impulses.

It does not hold your heart hostage. That’s BS from love story authors, country music singers, and overly dramatic teenage girls. Your brain and intellect run the show not your heart. It can be overruled if you want it to.