Are you racist if you are not attracted to persons of a particular race?

(Hi NK.)

You’re correct. No, attraction isn’t a choice, and people should not try to shame or condemn others for whom they’re attracted to or not.

Moreover, I think who we choose to be closed to romantic relationships with HAS to be allowed to be a free choice, or else the people shaming/condemning are just behaving atrociously and need to stop. Otherwise it’s like obliging people into unwanted romantic situations.

And I’d even say they don’t have to say why, and those choices could be based on racial biases, and that’s their business that should be invioably private. Everyone should always just be able to say “no thanks” or “no” with no comment.

On the other hand, going around declaring to people who didn’t ask that they aren’t attracted to X race in an offensive way is of course totally possible.

So please tell people who say that that they’re undermining tolerance by being ludicrously over-aggressive about it.

As Ridiculous as these:

If you are not attracted to all sizes, you are size-ist
If you are not attracted to all intellectual capabilities, you are IQ-ist
If you re not attracted to all ages, you are ageist

I’m not attracted to races so much as to individuals and I can find beautiful individuals in every “race”.

No. One would have to be attracted to all, all of the time and that’s not logical.

@kritiper Indeed, that would be highly illogical

I agree with all of the above. If someone decided not to date based on race, that seems racist. But the reverse is true in some cultures, too, like my old Vietnamese bf who said he had to marry in his race due to his familial requirements.

@zenvelo – I’m pretty sure I’m IQist.

And non-humourist, and non-flirtist. And straightist. And blondeist.

I prefer smart, funny flirts with dark curly hair.

You don’t get to pick who or what you are attracted to so it’s of no consequence politically That said I can’t think of any race that does not have at least a few examples of the opposite sex that I wouldn’t bang into next week.

Didn’t the OP post a similar question before? ...

No. It’s the matter of preference.

I think it is likely that racism plays a role in your thinking. I am not saying you are a racist, but I a lot of people have a preference for those of the same race. I have caught myself feeling that way. I am not proud of it, but it is at least helpful to be aware of my feelings.

Racism has to do with how you treat people and what you say about them; it has nothing to do with whether you are sexually attracted to them, just as not being sexist doesn’t mean you want to screw all women.

Racism has to do with bias, conscious or subconscious.

I think that’s stupid. I don’t care about race. at all.
Choosing to be with someone not the same race as you doesn’t mean you hate your own race and choosing not to date someone a different race than you doesn’t mean you are racist.

If you say, “I don’t date asians because I don’t that race as a whole” that’s racist

@janbb …not being sexist doesn’t mean you want to screw all women.

but is it sexist if I want to all women?

@Strauss Might be tiring!

What a silly notion. It’s equivalent to assuming that since I don’t have a dog, I therefore dislike them.