What is the dumbest thing you have seen your neighbor do/attempt?

I just saw a neighbor filling the gas tank of his lawnmower with a lit cigarette in his mouth. And they think their gay neighbors are queer

ive seen the moments just before an orgy. 5 people were getting undressed and 2 were making out. i realized that i didnt want to see that, so i shut the curtains.

My senile neighbor fell in the pool because he thought it was his driveway.
I’ve always felt guilty about that day, because I laughed for a good ten seconds before I realized I should probably run outside and fish him out.

Sueanne….wonder if that guy is related to my neighbors. LOL

that was supposed to be 60 FOOT, BTW

lefteh—yikes! Thank heavens you came thru in the end :)

@zach: How did it help that you shut the curtains? Oh, I see. You weren’t in the same room. Sorry

Torching their terrace, ask Wilhelm haha.

Though I honestly don’t think it was intentional,

Mtl zack. I lived in Chicago. There was a couple who lived in an apt across from the local bar. It wasn’t uncommon to see them having sex while we were out having our Fri night drinks.

Torching their terrace, ask Wilhelm haha.

Though I honestly don’t think it was intentional.

I lived in Chicago in an apt. 10th floor. A guy on probably the 20th something floor in the apartment building across from me came out on his balcony early in the am and was chatting on the phone. At the end of his call, he took off his PJ bottoms and stood buck naked for awhile on the balcony.

There are lots of naked people in Chicago apparently.

Aren’t there a lot of naked people everywhere, ultimately?

@ magnus Torching the terrace? Was deep frying the Thanksgiving turkey involved?

@gail I honestly haven’t seen any naked people running amok where I live now…..

Speaking of naked on porches, I love standing naked on the balcony of my hotel in Ocean City, MD when I am there. Top floor. Wonderful breeze. Fresh air. Sorry for the hijack, but I like the memory.

i saw a guy stap a fork (the really long ones that are used to poke sausages) into his hand at a BBQ. he was just doing a magic trick for the kids though, and i fell for it too.

@sueanne: sounds like you and my old Chicago neighbor would be great friends :)

oh that one made me laugh. well my neighbour’s kid tried to stick a fork in his ash-hole well he is one so he could stick it in both ends and no one could tell the difference and tried to fart it out it was not pretty and so it ended up stuck and my mom had to drive him to the ER and accompany him to the doc’s office and the doc called him a retard. i stifled that laugh for a good 2 minutes but what really made me laugh was when the doctor accidentally announced it over the loudspeaker that a retarded kid just stuck a fork in his butt and he needs assistance to get it out. i could not hold it in so i laughed and was a bit surprised to hear an old man hacking and forcing out a wheezy laugh or two and then falling to the floor and he was still laughing when he hit the floor too . ahh memories memories. well his father heard the story and checked him into a mental hospital and that was the end of that. he moved since. oh good times,good times.

We lived next door to a rental house full of college kids one year. The houses were very close together and we saw plenty as they didn’t seem to know what curtains were for. They partied all the time, usually late into the night on weeknights,when most people had to get up early the next day. One morning after a party, I had my 3 kids get all their ‘noise’ makers and we put their record player on the front porch bright and early (when I knew they would be trying to sleep it off) We cranked the music up and the kids marched and sang under their bedroom windows, beating their drums and tambourines. One of the guys flung the front door open and started to scream at them, and then saw me. I smiled brightly and said, “Good morning, I hope you slept as good this morning as we slept last night.”

Revenge was sweet!

@Imcrazy.

You’re crazy too?! Maybe you guys should have your neighborhood water tested!

:)

Snoopy; I meant that they are not necessarily where you can see them. Like me, now, (or not?)

knock down MY fence…

@daisy. Very nice! What is even funnier about our story, is that they offered us the wood from the ash tree for our fireplace. We said “sure!”

i may be crazy but not as crazy as my neighbour’s kid.’

i am krazy/kool

@jamzzy HOW did they knock down your fence?

@imcrazy: riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.
:)

@gail Oh. Well yes, I am sure that there is plenty of nudity in my ‘hood. However, as I don’t SEE it…..it is being closed doors (and drapes).

one morning i was just hanging out in my room and i see the guy like pushing it down and i think to myself…what are you doing? he pulls out a chainsaw and this is excactly how it went
Me-“hey buddy”
Him-“oh hey whats up?”
Me-“nothing…uhm…is there something wrong?”
Him-“just knocking down the fence”
Me-“right well it is my fence”
awkward silence
Him-“OH RIGHT, i guess i forgot to ask you”
Me-“yeah do you mind making it straight again?”

@jamzzy:.....and, uh, did he fix it?

snoopy- i am not kidding,i have tried seemingly outrageous stunts before but this one is crazy like INSANE . but one sunday afternoon (another crazy story) a guy had candles in his bathroom his poop was apparently very stinky and he stood up,pointed his ash to the candle apparently it was butt level and burned it 3rd degree style in several places. he is now in a lot of pain whenever he sh*ts. and that was recently. oh and he has a doctor monitoring him for any improvements. so you see, i am completely sane compared to these NUTCASES .

We had a neighbor (years ago) that dug a garden on our property. When we pointed this out, they said, “Well, our yard is too crowded with other stuff.” It blew my mind. I wrote them a letter giving permission so they could not claim adverse possession.

Neighbors can be nightmares. In Florida, our neighbor was a huffer. His cousin stole my cat (I got her back), and then presented me with a $200 vet bill. I said, “You must be joking. You steal my cat, and expect me to pay you. You took the cat out of my yard. Did it occur to you to knock on the door and check?”

He got his Mom to invest in his irrigation system business. She mortgaged her house. He kept huffing and wrecked the van she paid cash for (and since it was paid off did not bother to insure). Then within a week, he totaled his SUV. He was hauled off and institutionalized under the Florida Baker act. His Mom lost the house. Seriously stupid people.

Marina. Wow. And I thought my neighbors were irritating b/c they don’t turn their compost pile regularly!
haha

And mine who have target practice every evening while it is still light and legal.

if you want funny jokes and stories check this site out

http://funnyhub.com/

my neighbors once tried to put up an above ground pool on their huge hill. They eventually gave up and let the empty pool lie in their grass for almost a year. It was gross.

duhhh

My neighbors are doing all these drastic home improvements completely half-assed. They are building their own STAIRS. To the second floor of their home! One of them is a lawyer, and the other is a musician. Neither of them have any background whatsoever in carpentry.

I can’t wait until I see one of them come crashing through their front door because their stairs collapsed and they slid right down like a slide. I friggin hate my neighbors.

There are some absolutely hilarious answers in here, you had me laughing a lot guys and girls, although I have no stories of my own to return the favour. Hehe. I’m still laughing now.

I had a little old man for a neighbor. He was from Wisconsin and had his own way of doing things. The funniest thing I saw was one summer when he tried to get rid of a nest of ground bees. The nest was on a little slope between our properties. He dumped a few gallons of gasoline down the entrance, waited a bit, and dropped a lit match. The flames shot up out of the ground. It was August, the grass was dry, and he quickly covered the opening with his shoe.

About 5 feet away, another flame shot up. He ran over to that and covered it. All in all, there were 3 entrances to this huge nest, and the poor ol’ geezer was forced to dash back and forth until all the gasoline burned up. Oh, did I laugh!

He also liked to take old bowling balls, paint them, and set them out for gazing balls. He had a hobby of making wind chimes out of pipes, but he would cut them with no regards to sound or pitch. He hung them everywhere in his backyard. On a breezy night it was impossible to sleep with all the banging and clanging going on.

It is, um, somewhat comforting to know that others in our great nation have neighbors as dumb as mine.

I live on the beach where the tide goes really far out. We got a new neighbor. He proudly bought a boat. He dragged the boat out on the flats when the tide was out, put down an anchor, and attached a short rope. We said, You know, when the tide
comes in that rope is going to be short. He laughed and got sarcastic and left it the way he’d done it. The tide came up. The boat floated. Tide came up some more. The front end began to tip. The tide came up some more. The front end of the boat dived under the water. The tide came up some more. Soon the boat was vertical. The tide came up some more. He came out of his house. “DID YOU TAKE MY BOAT???”

Sorry for the earlier double post, I think they were barbecuing when the gas-tank decided to be a bitch.

@Susanc. Don’t you love Boobus Americanus? Who said, “Revenge is a dish best served cold”?

@Gail: I crave revenge in the moment and violent, but I settle for
watching the dopes lose their boats, money, and so on, without interventions from me. Karma: fun.

@Susan: Only sometimes, remember?

@ susanc – that was such a funny story!

@Gail: Um, remind me. xxoo s

Smoking——-> unfunny karma. xxoo G

I came home one day, was walking up my back steps, and I saw what looked like a miniature dinosaur run right in front of me and up a tree in my back yard. Some jagoff a couple doors down let his 3 foot iguana loose, the whole neighborhood came by to try to shake it out of the tree.

I saw my neighbor throw his computer out in the yard & smash it with a sledge hammer. I asked him why the next day…he stated it kept freezing up on him. I asked him if he had tried to run virus software first? He asked me how in the hell his computer could get a virus, only humans get that stuff! Come to find out also, he had only had it two months, it was still under warranty!

This is a second hand story, but I was chatting with a former co-worker a few years ago, and she told me a story of three young guys who lived next door to her who should have won a Darwin award. Aparently, one day when working with an acetylene torch in the garage in the house next door to hers, after breaking for lunch, one of the intrepid trio thought it would be funny to fill his empty ziploc bag with acetylene and light it on fire. And it made an impressive mini explosion which delighted the young guys to no end. But 3 men, 3 lunches only produce so many small ziploc bags, and of course the thrill wears off pretty quickly. So they thought, hey, what if we filled a garbage bag with acetylene and lit that thing on fire…it would probably be pretty cool. Needless to say the 3 men ended up in the hospital lucky to be alive, and the garage door blew clean off the garage.

H. L. Menken said it best:

” No one in this world has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people. Nor has anyone ever lost public office thereby.”

Maybe not dumb but definitely..not smart for your social calendar.

One of my neighbors went door to door collecting pet poo.

They needed fertilizer.

home freaking depot weirdo

Don’t knock it, asmonet. The Philly Zoo sells (or used to sell) dried tiger patties – called Zoo Doo. It is supposed to be a successful deterrent for the deer that come browsing. That assumes, of course, that you do not have a pet leopard chained in the garage. :-)

@gail: Now you see THAT I can accept, thanks for the interesting info. Knocking on relative strangers door and opening with “You don’t happen to have any spare dog shit do you? You see, I need it for…” That’s mildly alarming I think.

My neighbor used to grill out every freaking day. I once saw him grilling a turkey (it wasn’t Thanksgiving) in the pouring rain, holding an umbrella.

That is quite awesome deaddolly.

Well, I haven’t lived here very long, but Sunday night we heard our young neighbors downstairs being loud because they were drunk.

One guy kept screaming at the top of his lungs, “STUPID BITCH!” with the same inflection Flavor Flave says when he says his name. So it was more like, “STOO-PID BIIIIITCH!”

@TNH someone once called me a “bee-otch” and I started laughing at him b/c of the way he pronounced it…that just made him more irritated. hehe

I love laughing and blowing kisses at ppl that give me the finger on the road. They get so mad.
umm…if I ever disappear from this site; you’ll know what happened.

I came home one day and found my next door neighbor on my porch, with a heat gun and a scraper, scraping perfectly good paint off the porch post. When I asked him what he was doing, he replied, “I’ll paint your house for $2,000.” I told him to go paint his own house (which needed it) and he said he was too busy.

My sister noticed yesterday that a truck had pulled up and was filling her tank with
oil. She rushed and had a confab with truck driver. (Meanwhile her tank is filling up.) Driver was looking for neighbor so my sis got to keep the 15 or so gallons of free oil.

@gail: Does your sister want to pick out some lottery numbers for us? :D

I’ll ask.

@ALF: Who the hell does that!?

I’ve a new one!!!!! I’ve got a neighbor who’s out there blowing his leaves as soon as they hit his lawn. It’s great fun for me, because i don’t rake very much…I prefer to let the wind blow.

I was once out raking in our first house. the leaves were up to our ankles. ours were clearly red and our neighbor’s were yellow. there was a definitive line of color there.

We had met the lady of the house who was super nice and had a great sense of humor. We had not met the man of the house.

So as a means of introducing myself I picked up an errant yellow leaf, walked up to him, introduced myself and said, very seriously, “I am sorry but I think this one is yours” and walked away without another word.

I found out he told his wife and asked if I was retarded. It took a while for him to get past that.

He would probably post that joke on here

@Bri lmao…some ppl take things (like leaves) so seriously. Life is too short to worry about leaves.

@Bri: That’s fucking fantastic. He’s clearly not as clever as you. :-p

hehe. We got along after that. Eventually. I asked him about it and he said “I thought you were fucking nuts!”

Here is a lesson in what goes around comes around….

(referencing my original Q above….)

Over a week ago, I got recruited to help take a limb down from our tree….Unfortunately, hubbie and co. had underestimated the weight…Big Mistake. There was ropes, rigging and a chainsaw involved.

My right hand got crushed. Luckily nothing appears to be broken, but after much icing, drugs, and compression dressings, the hand and the wounds on it are finally, slowly improving. Somewhere, the universe is snickering.