How do I convince a new boyfriend to get an STD test?

You have every right to ask him to get tested. It doesn’t really matter that he says his last girlfriend says she was clean.

I would be concerned by why he really doesn’t want to be tested. I’m guessing that he is not as invested in this relationship as you are. He might also not be ready to be exclusive with you (which would make his test only valid on the exact same day of the results, the next day he could sleep with someone who has an STD and then infect you). Or, he is afraid to see what a test would reveal about his health (forget about the ex girlfriend’s test, it isn’t currently relevant.

Before you go forth, you should probably clear up any ambivalence he may have toward dating (sleeping with) you.

Practice safe sex, if he refuses to get tested.

People don’t always know what “safe sex” is. Here is some info:

https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/stds-hiv-safer-sex/safer-sex

With hold any and all physical treats until he does so. And then get him some raincoats in pretty girly colors!

@furious_rose, you wrote: ”...it would show that they were being responsible, and that’s attractive to me!”

And he’s not. There’s your answer.

Tell him to get it done or get none.

@RedDeerGuy1, that has to be one of your best lines ever. GA.

I just told him to lose my number.

I am not asking for much, and he is turning it into this huge issue when it doesn’t need to be.

I’ll be better off without him!

Good move. Even if he is faithful, and even if he is “clean”, his refusal is irrational on its face, and who needs that? Especially in light of its importance, particularly to you (if not to him). We all put up with a bit of irrationality from time to time, but you have to draw a line somewhere, and I salute you for yours.

@furious_rose Good on you. There is nothing wrong with demanding your partner use safe sex practices.

I don’t use condoms. Therefore, I would be happy to get myself and my partner tested before getting physical.

That being said, I am reminded of how men are supposed to trust women, when it comes to it being my baby. I started a thread about mandatory DNA testing when a woman has a baby. I got a LOT of furious responses from people saying that men are supposed to trust the woman, and anything else is simply evil. To me, this falls into the same category. Common sentiment was “prove it’s my kid, what an insult.”

I am trying to imagine how I would bring the STD test up to a partner. I guess I’m saying I trust you. But prove you don’t have an STD. Interesting that when trust is questioned by the female, responses are overwhelmingly supportive. But the male is admonished, if he has trust issues with the female…

To the thread’s point. I would consider it sketchy, if someone refused the test. Maybe he was insulted. Maybe he had something to hide…

I this day and age, you are probably being smart.

Tell him you have an STD.

A guy asked me once to get checked and I did so willingly. I came back clean. So it’s not a completely unreasonable request. If he doesn’t want to get tested, then he’s not the one for you. If he truly likes you, he would want to get tested.

Just my own not so humble opinion, but if he’s really into you he should be willing to do it. What the hells the big deal? Whatever makes ya happy. Not like you’re asking him to go steal an ATM.