At what age do adolescents begin wanting a sexual relationship with their boyfriend/girlfriend?
When I was in my early teens, there were girls I wanted for a girlfriend, and “going steady” was what most of us did. though I had no sexual desire. Things like sex were talked about in private but not actively pursued I don’t think. We were still too shy, in many cases, for even the first kiss. Being accepted, going steady was enough.
Or, that’s what I felt at the time.
By the time I was 14, many guys (especially the rough, thuggish types) were talking and bragging about active. lurid sex. Parts were mentioned in crude, demeaning words.
Even in my late teens, however, I don’t think it was normal for average adolescents to be in a sexual relationship—though I think after the mid teens, some were indeed sexually experienced and many more desired it as something for the future – maybe wanted it but one or both held back, saving it for marriage.
I am just curious about how normal I was, and what the expectations of the girlfriends really were. Like many, I had about four or five “going steady” relationships from age 13 through 18.
Helpful answers might include YOUR memories or expectations or those of others you know. I myself just remember sex as being something reserved for the future, when I was a teenager. But I might have just grown up in a more puritanical environment than many.
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10 Answers
It’s not a specific age. It is the onset of puberty and the biological and anatomical changes that are taking place.
Some boys have early puberty at 11–12, others a couple years later. Some as late as 16–17.
Girls about the same, but girls sometimes start sooner.
Biology is the key, not a calendar.
For me, probably around 16 years old for hormones to really kick in and cause ‘feelings’. I didn’t act on them however.
It really dejpends on the individual. I « made out » with boyfriends from around 14 but wasn’t ready to have intercourse with a long term boyfriend until I was 18.
I remember a girl when I was in junior high school, she was twelve, announced she was pregnant. I was stunned.
I had no inclination yet toward sexual activity.
I asked her if she was going to give it up, or have her parents raise it. She became huffy and declared it was her baby, and that she and her boyfriend were trying to get pregnant!
When I was a sophomore, still not involved, I was in a home ec class which put girls together from any grade.
Freshman girls talked about it with quite a bit of detail. I was again stunned. I felt that it was a private thing. Those nasty girls were bragging.
Eventually the tables were turned. When I was fresh outta boot camp I was skeptical about a friend’s claim that some guy on base was a virgin…
and cute. He was, apparently a shy nineteen year old.
When it hits, it hits, anywhere from twelve to twenty-two as best as I can tell. Most act on their impulses, some wait.
I was shoulder-tapping porn and wanking at 12. If I had a willing a partner I would have been fucking. And I tried with all my sisters friends.
Think I came across a porn site when I was 8, with unfiltered internet access. Parents never gave me “the talk” so was always curious. I sexted a guy online when I was 10
But I would say that isn’t the norm and most teens are probably thinking that way at 15 or 16
The crowd I hung out with began to get interested in girls in their late teens and sexually involved in their twenties. I remember developing a crush on certain girls when I was 11 or 12 but I was far too shy at that timr to even speak with them.
Shyness kept me from going very far for many years.
“Getting Lucky” meant—the time I met a girl on a church van going to a hayride one night just eight nights before Christmas Eve. Full moon, bonfire, woods, plenty of places to be alone Kind of gives you the advantage—a captive audience. Never any sex in that relationship—too shy to even kiss. She was the one who got away—moved away that is—after about a year. I was fourteen and very shy and rejected but many guys my age were bragging about the P-word constantly.
Dated about four girls—went steady with them that is—but never any real interest in sex on my part. Not sure what they expected.
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