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Anonymousgirl88's avatar

Can people usually feel a condom break, or feel tge difference when a condom didn’t work effectivly?

Asked by Anonymousgirl88 (176points) April 26th, 2018 from iPhone

So lately my friend Jess has been worried about the condoms her, and her man are using not working, so she’s been asking a lot of questions I don’t know the answer to. She overthinks it, my friends and I just told her she could get hurt, but we’ve also warned her about other more severe outcomes to her situation, her mom has coincedentally warned her about the outcomes too (with-out knowing what she’s up to). And mom’s are smart, her mom has said, “You better not come to me with a consequense,” and her mom has warned her because she knows about some of the other bad situations she’s put herself into, like dating a guy who was abusive to her one time. And Jessica knows my friends, and I are right about the severe things that can happen, so I think that’s why she wants to have more knowlede on condoms.

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17 Answers

funkdaddy's avatar

No you can’t feel a difference either when the condom breaks or doesn’t work effectively. There’s usually no real giveaway until you pull it off.

But condoms don’t break very often unless you’re using old ones, use them wrong, or do something other than what they were made for. Buy new condoms, read the instructions one time and then use them right. It’s pretty simple and you’ll only have to read once.

If she’s worried, she can help him put it on and make sure he’s doing it right. Good lube can help a lot as well, put it on the outside of the condom though, not inside.

It sounds like her mom might support a trip to the doctor for some birth control, which is a great backup plan for those consequences.

rojo's avatar

Tell her to get on the pill or some other form of birth control besides a condom; not eliminate them but in addition to them. As @funkdaddy said there is no real surefire way to tell and if she is that uncomfortable then better to be safe than sorry. Shit happens, breaks, tears, faulty manufacturing, it doesn’t matter what or how just that it does.
If that is not an option then stick to oral sex.

Kardamom's avatar

No, you cannot feel a condom break, leak, or slide to release sperm accidentally.

Just to let you know, today was an especially difficult day, because one of my friends, who is also my co-worker, had to have an abortion today.

She and her boyfriend of 4 months had been using condoms exclusively. She is unable to take the pill, or use iud’s because of the hormones. She has a medical condition that doesn’t support the use of hormonal based birth control options.

She also has no health insurance, thanks to the state denying her Medi-Cal benefits because she worked for several months in another state last year, so her insurance was dropped and she has not been able to get it re-instated.

She would not have chosen an abortion if she had medical insurance, but she is not in a position to raise a child, nor is her boyfriend.

Please learn something today. Condoms are not 100% effective, they are not foolproof, especially when they are not used correctly, and when the users don’t know whether you can tell if they have ruptured, were defective, or partially slipped off.

filmfann's avatar

Yes, you can feel it break.

Zaku's avatar

Depends on how much it breaks.

janbb's avatar

You are obviously obsessing over this. Either you are Jess or you don’t have a life of your own. Stop obsessing over condoms and get on the pill, Jess.

Anonymousgirl88's avatar

@ janbb – How is getting all the facts right for my friend obsessive?

janbb's avatar

Asking 10 -15 questions about the same exact subject is obsessive. Why don’t you tell her about the site and have her ask the questions?

Anonymousgirl88's avatar

It was about 3. 1 was asking how they work, one was asking if they can break, and the other was a separate queation asking if you could feel the difference.

Anonymousgirl88's avatar

@ janbb – But I should have just asked it all in 1 question.

Kardamom's avatar

I’m adding an adendum to my answer above (which I hope you read).

It doesn’t matter whether you can feel the condom breaking, leaking, or coming off. By that point it is too late.

My friend and her boyfriend are relatively responsible adults in their early 30’s, but because she cannot use any hormone based birth control (such as an IUD, birth control pills, injections, or patches) they had to use condoms, and the most recent time, which was 4 weeks ago, the condom failed.

She had an abortion yesterday. It was awful. She didn’t really want to do that, but she is in no position to raise a child.

If she would have come to me earlier, I would have suggested that she also use a diaphragm with spermicidal jelly, in addition to using condoms. They used condoms every time, but this last one failed.

Please educate yourself on what forms or birth control are available, and how to use them properly, and have discussions with potential sex partners about what you want to happen if you do become pregnant.

In my friend’s case, her boyfriend was willing to pay for the abortion, but I suspect that their relationship is not going to last at this point. They were only 4 months into their relationship when this happened, and they were already having regular relationship problems that people often do, when they are deciding whether to become more committed to each other, or to break up. My friend was relatively lucky. Her boyfriend is a decent guy, whether or not they decide to break up or stay together. Lots of young women, especially uneducated women (and take no offense when I point out that we are dealing with uneducated people here).

My friend still ended up pregnant, and had an abortion, something she will have to deal with for the rest of her life.

Educate yourself.

Here is pretty much everything you need to know to make an informed decision from Planned Parenthood:

https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control

kritiper's avatar

I’ll say no based on the experience of an friend who had a story about one.

Patty_Melt's avatar

The only time one feels anything from a condom is when they discover they are sensitive to latex.

Anonymousgirl88's avatar

@ janbb – Can I ask why your so dis reapectful to me? Because I find it dis respectul to tell me I don’t have a life.

RocketGuy's avatar

If it’s a major break, both parties will feel the difference – they end up skin to skin, which feels a lot different from skin to latex. Happened to me, but luckily no unfortunate effects.

Kardamom's avatar

@Anonymousgirl88 Janbb is not being disrespectful to you. She is pointing out (to you) that it is unnecessary to ask multiple, similar, questions about the same subject, when one question (with all the details) will suffice.

I’m guessing that she, and quite of few of us are wondering if you are the person who doesn’t really understand how birth control works. That’s OK, because we are all still here to help.

Just don’t “shoot the messenger”. I hope you know what that means.

We just want to share our collective, combined, and hard learned experience. An unwanted pregnancy, and a possible abortion, are not something any of us would wish upon anyone.

Please understand that we want people (especially younger folks, or people who have not necessarily been through this) to understand what it is really like, and how to consciouslly avoid situations like this in the future.

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