Did Ken (Barbie's beau) turn out to be gay, in the Mattel Barbie mythos (see wikipedia excerp) ?
I’ve been asking joke questions lately, but this one is based on something I uncovered while researching Mattel’s Big Jim / Big Josh/ Big Jack / Big Jeff action figure line.
From Wikipedia: In 1993, “Earring Magic Ken” was released. The style of the doll was thought to resemble fashions and accessories worn by some segments of the gay community at the time, and “Earring Magic Ken” subsequently attained a cult following, becoming a collector’s item.[4]
In February, 2004, Mattel announced a split for Ken and Barbie, with Russell Arons, vice president of marketing at Mattel, saying that Barbie and Ken “feel it’s time to spend some quality time – apart…Like other celebrity couples, their Hollywood romance has come to an end”, though Arons indicated that the duo would “remain friends”. He also hinted that the separation might be partially due to Ken’s reluctance to getting married.[5] In February, 2006 however, a revamped version of the Ken doll was launched, though it was stated that their relationship is still purely platonic.[6][7]
(Me, now)—Maybe Mattel was trying to teach girls that there is more to life than a romantic relationship. It’s not an all-in-all, and people can appreciate another person without wanting a romantic or sexual relationship. But I wonder, if Ken was gay, it might make sense that he would have a respectable Platonic relationship with Barbie. I doubt Mattel would actually come out and declare homosexuality or sexual preference—but maybe the subtle implication was there.
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6 Answers
No, they broke up, because Ken realised that neither him nor Barbie have actual genitals, and like all men, if there is no chance of sexual intercourse, he ditched her.
Earring Magic Ken was a marketing blunder. In an attempt to make Ken look cool Mattel inadvertently made him outrageously gay to the extent of wearing a cock ring necklace. Earring Magic Ken was abruptly removed from the shelves when Mattel became aware of this. It sold well but not in the targetted young girl market.
Back in those days some guys wore a ear ring in one ear to make a fashion statement and the other ear to signify that they were gay. I would assume, not knowing one ear from the other in the aforementioned manner, which was which, so I will assume Ken was making a fashion statement. Unless, of course, he was wearing an ear ring in both ears which would mean, in my opinion, that he was a gay guy who was trying to make a fashion statement. (Forgive me but real men don’t wear ear rings.)
Personally, I think Barbie suddenly got caught up in post-feminism. She went and got a college degree and later became a Doctor and then later still became a proctologist. Many hints were made that she did this on purpose since she had also heard the ‘gay’ rumours. After a thorough exam Ken was no longer ‘gay’ he had developed a sincere aversion to any mention of anal sex.
She wrote memoirs in her middle age about the insulting suggestion that males needed a cock ring once they turned gay as @flutherother had mentioned. Insinuating that the statement piece suggested that gay men needed to put a halt on their orgasm once savouring ‘cock’ as opposed to a smooth creaseless vagina.
She also had a breast reduction along the way, stole some of Ken’s ribs, because let’s face it he was a bit spineless, as she needed them in order to stand up whilst performing anal exams.
Ken is spending most of his time in a reclusive state and in a wheelchair due to having fewer ribs and Barbie looks after him, however, rumours are rife. Screams have been heard from their pink and white mansion in the Hollywood Hills and his once smooth Mattel plastic face is now Hollywood plastic and resembles a waxen mask.
Sadly she never had children, her hips were too small and she had no vagina to speak of. Plus she battled septicemia as her bodily wastes built up (as did kens) to dangerous amounts, today she wears a ‘bag’ to help her deal with the overflow.
She still has blue eyeshadow and a very nice face, but her hair has thinned from loss of oestrogen so she wears it very short.
I hope that helped a little?
Years ago a customer asked a toy store employee if Barbie dolls come with a Ken doll.
He answered “No, she fakes it with Ken. She comes with G.I. Joe”.
G.I. Joes’ Adventure Team men were BIG men for Barbie— just over six feet, because the dolls were a full twelve inches. Barbie was just under five foot nine
Barbie’s Ken was only about five foot nine— not sure how big the “Big Jim – Big Josh—Big Jeff guys by Mattel were (never had one)—but maybe slightly smaller than Ken (can’t find accurate information on their size but I think closer tot ten inch)
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