What should be done in this family situation?

That is grounds for having the rental terminated early, and beach communities are very strict about leash laws in the summer. And really, someone is allergic? Why should someone have to take meds so he can violate the lease and the community laws?

Your brother is being selfish and stupid. (Sorry, but that’s how it is!)

Wait, what does the family member’s allergy have to do with it? Is this person staying with your brother? Are there others staying at the house besides your brother and sister? Are you? Or why are you trying to protect him from the consequences of his actions? I’m afraid I don’t see how this is your problem. Maybe some pertinent details are missing.

It sounds like your brother and sister have sprung for picking up the tab. It is unclear whether or not you or other family menbers are involved at all, except for the vague reference to whoever has the allergy. It’s a waste of time trying to dissuade dog fanatics from breaking the rules, particularly if they are footing the bill,

@Jeruba and @stanleybmanly My apology. There will be at least fifteen of us staying in the house, with one known to be allergic to dogs. Yes, I will be there as well. My intent is for him to consider others before deciding to bring both dogs, including the repercussions if called out for it.

Can the dogs be restricted to outdoors? I would agree that it’s inconsiderate of your brother, but if he’s financing the lodgings, he’s entitled to call the tune.

I got a fine with a court appearance required for having a dog unleashed in the evening on the beach. The laws are pretty strict in many towns and the owner’s stipulation of only one dog plus the allergic person makes it sound to me like it should be a no dogs vacation week. Can other family members join you in demurring? (Rather than “demurring” I’m actually suggesting a fairly strong family intervention.)

My dog is very sweet and friendly. However, I put her up when there are a lot of people at my house. I just don’t want someone to step on her, or her to jump up on them and I don’t want to be constantly watching to see where she is or what she is doing. Yes, he is paying for the beach house, but he still needs to consider other people before he takes 2 dogs with him.
What would happen if someone left the door open and the dogs got out? Too many chances for problems to occur.

@stanleybmanly The only outdoor area fenced in is the pool/deck area. It is unhighly to happen, even if everyone else said that this is okay. The brother is paying an equal share; sis is paying the other half. The house is being rented. The owners have set the rules: one dog.

@janbb If the brother gets fined for having two dogs in the house or having them loose, that is his problem to sort out. It just comes across as if he feels like he is exempt from rules and consideration for others when it comes to his dogs. This has occurred before.

So it sounds like you are ok with him bringing the dogs – just slightly pissed off at his attitude? I guess I would not be. I love dogs but people come first.

“Sorry, but because of the dog situation, we won’t be participating in the beach house.”

You can’t dictate what your brother does, you can only control what you do. Going along with his setting the terms would be tacit agreement. Time to set boundaries. Find another vacation for you. See if any other family members wish to join you somewhere else, even if it is just another house in the same town.

15 people in one house is about 8 too many no matter how big the house is.

@zenvelo Or for some of us, about 14 too many. :-)

This brings back very pleasant memories of the year our parents celebrated their anniversary in a 5 bedroom condo at South LakeTahoe on the beach, right next to the heated pool and spa. We had nine people and a wonderful time. Because no pets were allowed, my in laws boarded their two dogs in a nearby pet hotel.
If your relatives cannot abide by the rules, I would pass this one up.

I’d stay somewhere else if my kid was allergic. I’m not drugging my kid up for a dog.

For myself, I would very seriously consider not staying in the house, because generally speaking I don’t like staying in any house that has a dog in it. I do make exceptions though, but it’s a big deterrent for me. Let’s say I do decide to stay, I would not put my name on anything related to the rental since the rules are being broken, and I would not walk on the beach with the unleashed dog.

Quite honestly, I find it quite annoying he ignores leash laws.

I’d say his heart of gold is pot metal in a few places.

Why is this your business, or mine?

This is the exact type of shit I could see my sister doing. She has a tatoo of her dog on her foot. She picked a painful location to prove love to her shithole little dog.

My point is stupid people are irrational about their dogs. Figure out what will create the least amount of friction in your life and go with that. I hate dogs.. Except Australian Shepherds. Never met a Australian Shepherd that is a feckless cunt.

@MollyMcGuire Because the OP will be in the house with the brother for the family vacation. Unless, she decides not to stay there.

Oh, I didn’t realize she was going on the trip.

Even if she wasn’t going, I think her point was she was trying to help her brother regarding the leash law, and help the family member with the allergy, whether she was going or not. It’s her family.

I don’t see anything wrong with her saying something to her brother to try to avoid him getting cited for breaking the law, or the possibility he didn’t know or forgot about the allergy. The OP obviously cares about everyone’s comfort, and the brother obviously does not. At least not when it comes to his dog.

He will be fined. Beach areas are very vigilant about the leash laws in the summer months because of the danger of pet waste. They are also very well-patrolled since they are the source of income and tourists for the town. Also, the landlord may be local and will see the second dog, which could void the rental contract.

Really, though, there is nothing that you can do. Except watch him get in trouble or avoid going. Especially if it is your little one who is allergic.

Read the fine print in the rental agreement. At the very least I would assume that failure to abide by the rules of the agreement would result in the loss of the rental deposit. I’ll bet that’s a lot of money.

And in some (most?) towns, lease holders can be held responsible for leash law fines regarding pets living in that home. That means that even if brother isn’t interested in paying the fine you could be held liable.

If they are paying and are contractually obligated, I would just go along and if you ended up not having fun, leave. You have no obligation to stay there at all.

His choice, his problem, his contract/ lease.

As far as the child with an allergy, if they are aware of the dogs there, they should not come or make sure they have allergy meds. It’s their choice to participate in HIS rental.

Dog owners always think the rules apply to everyone’s dogs except theirs. Nothing you can do really.

I’ll be curious to hear an update @Pied_Pfeffer of what you decided to do.

@janbb Thanks. I talked to him on Sunday regarding the situation, thus this question. Based on past experience, he will bring both dogs, We despite the rules, the allergy, and setting a poor example for the younger generations. His wife was on the call, so maybe she can persuade him to rethink brinboth.

@snowberry The lease is in the brother’s name. If he is caught and fined, he’ll pay it. It just annoys the daylights out of me that he feels he is exempt from rules because his dogs are “well-behaved”.

@KNOWITALL I’m driving there (14 hours one way), so the option to leave early is there. I just hope that the owners/rental office don’t ask us to leave. Six people are flying in for this. The thing is, I’ve never met two nephews girlfriends, one nephew’s wife, and three of the babies. I’d like to spend some quality time with all of them.

@Pied_Pfeffer Ah, I get it. The bad news is that he’s not being a good host for the family event (dogs/ allergies/ rules.) But the good news is that he’s contractually obligated for any damage or fines, and you can leave if you’re unhappy. I guess you all could just get a hotel together if things go bad. :)

If the landlord catches him, and tells him no go, he can always kennel the dogs nearby I guess.

@JLeslie: Not very likely. If he feels that way abou5 his dogs, he probably wouldn’t be willing to kennel them at an unvetted facility, even if the local boarders had room on such short notice in a beach community in July.

@canidmajor So, what will he do? Take his dogs and go, and let the family stay in the house? He could go to a hotel that allows dogs, assuming he doesn’t have pit bulls or some other dog that might not be allowed. Even if he kennels then, he can go visit every day. I completely understand why he wouldn’t want to kennel them though. I’d be nervous about doing it to my dogs myself.

Hopefully, none of that is necessary. I actually hope he gets away with keeping the dogs at the house, assuming they don’t do any damage and the family is ok with it, except of course for the allergic child, that still needs to be addressed somehow.

I wouldn’t be upset at all if he gets cited, and gets those dogs on a leash though.

@JLeslie, I have no idea, I would be unlikely to ever be in that position, as I know how the system works. If he’s going to ignore the terms of the lease in the first place for the dogs, I don’t think he really should have any accommodation made for him.

Every house we’ve ever rented, the owners lived far away. Even if the owners of this rental are in the area, it is highly unlikely that they would show up while we are there.

This is prime beach season. The chance of finding a hotel room, especially at the last minute,is highly unlikely, much less one that takes dogs. My guess is if it came down to that, his wife would head home with the dogs.

Ok, so they take the risk.

Lots of dog people are like this. I don’t mean the majority, I just mean enough that it doesn’t go unnoticed. Your brother is just self absorbed when it comes to this issue.

Does everyone going to the house know the dogs will be there? That would be VERY important to me if I were a family member. I wouldn’t want a surprise of the two dogs when I get there. I’d want to be able to decide if I’m ok with the dogs being there or not for myself. Most likely I’d be ok if being with family was important to me (which it is) as long as I can sleep with the door closed, and I know the dog doesn’t jump on me.

I’d probably google a little to see what hotels and rentals are around as a possible backup plan. I’d also likely gossip a little bit about it with family members to get an idea how others felt.

@jlesie. As OP stated, it’s a beach resort in July. I doubt one room will be available nor will boarding facilities.
I love my dog, but there is no way I would put her through the stress of 15 people being around her.

@chyna I saw that. If there is a Marriott, I can get in within 24 hours most likely if I’m unhappy, Marriott is supposed to always have a room for a platinum member, but it might be a fortune, and I might not be willing to pay the price, so just being able to get a room might not be enough. Plus, there might not be any Marriott for many miles. The OP might have some sort of privileges with Hilton come to think of it.

Sometimes availability pops up last minute in hotels and Airbnb etc. I’d just want to know possibilities.

My husband does that. Gives up before trying because he believes it’s impossible. I don’t do that. I at least give it a look see.

I think most likely it would be ok staying in the house though. Unless, my kid had the allergy. That’s a whole different story. I don’t know how allergic the kid is. Just staying in a pet friendly house might be a problem.

@canidmajor What do you mean accommodation made for him? No one in the family can force him to do anything.

@Pied_Pfeffer Is your brother paying the whole bill? Or, it’s just in his name, but everyone is chipping in?

@JLeslie The brother and sister are splitting the rental fee. Our brother made the arrangements, so his name is on the lease. The rest of us cover food expenses.

As for a place to stay at the last minute, it is virtually impossible to find. The closest hotel is miles away, which is also a deterrent, as we want to be together.

^^If I were you I’d just be sure the other family members know about the dogs. Some jellies probably don’t even agree with doing that, but I would do it.

Most people don’t mind dogs being along, so I’m guessing most family members don’t care.

You said your piece to your brother, I assume the sister knows what he plans to do (I don’t remember what you said about her) so it’s out of your hands. Do your best to just let it go I think. It’s not worth winding yourself up about it. Don’t make it your responsibility to make everyone happy. I see your good intentions. You have caring about everyone written all over you. :). But, in the end I’m afraid dwelling on it will amount to no good deed goes unpunished, and it won’t be appreciated. Save yourself. Lol.

Geez, @JLeslie, it’s a figure of speech. Figure it out.

^^Thanks for answering my question. That clears it up perfectly for me. ~

The brother and I have travelled down a similar path before. When our mom was living in an assisted living home, he would always bring the dog with him. He would take it with him into the home’s dining area, allowing it to “greet” the other residents.

This is a home filled with elderly people who use walkers, canes, wheelchairs; who sometimes have poor eyesight. Whether they like dogs or not, having a dog run around or even active while on a leash, can evoke fear for their safety.

I told him that, and he ignored it. “The residents love Bailey. He brings them joy.” So then I checked with the director of the home. He said that pets are banned from the dining area for sanitary reasons. I had my brother talk to the director to confirm this. We ended up using a private dining area for gatherings after that.

To be fair, they are generally well-behaved dogs. The fact is, I don’t understand how this caring man can completely ignore the rules and considerations of others for whom he is attempting to co-create an opportunity for our family to remain close.

I’ve had my say with him on the subject, giving enough time for he and his wife to rethink the matter. At this time, I probably need to let it go, but it irritates the daylights out of me that he can’t play by the rules and consider the others.

How does your sister, who is footing half the bill, feel? If the party gets booted, she’s out her money, too. Maybe remind her to read the fine print on the lease agreement so she doesn’t get hit with possible extra penalties
I have a number of friends who have beach properties that they lease during the season. The friends and neighbors keep an eye on the properties when renters are there, pretty much to make sure that the terms are not blatantly ignored. I’ve seen more than one group tossed for breaking the terms of the lease, no refund, and the names are let out into the community to avoid others from renting valuable properties to the ones that might ignore the terms.

If it happens, it happens, maybe there will be no repercussions, hopefully everyone will have a lovely time.

It’s nice that you have the kind of family that wants to get together like this. :-)

@Pied_Pfeffer It would really iirritate me. I completely understand your POV. I’m sure you feel like you are holding back, because you are, but he probably sees it as here you go again. You can’t win.

He doesn’t care if other people are uncomfortable, because he thinks they shouldn’t be. They are wrong and he is right. He thinks the leash law is stupid. He thinks the landlord should be fine with two dogs if he’s fine with one. The allergic child will have other instances he has to take allergy medication, he doesn’t live in a bubble. If people at the assisted living live his dog they should be fine with the dog going everywhere in the building. That’s how I perceive your brother’s thinking.

You give him too much credit probably. He sounds quite self centered to me.

He is the sun providing the light (people love his dogs, he’s paying for a family reunion and organizing it, and whatever else he does that is very giving, but also likely ego driven to some extent) and he expects all the planets to circle around him.

@JLeslie: Very well put.

I think there’s a lot more going on with this “man with a heart of gold” than maybe the family is willing to admit. Ratcheting up anxiety levels of a number of family members when there are reasonable alternatives available is really just pretty selfish.

@Pied_Pfeffer You have been very lucky to have always experienced absentee landlords.

My husband and I just rented a cottage on the beach at Chesapeake Bay for Memorial Day weekend. On the first day I fell across a board and face planted on the gravel driveway, My head bounced I hit so hard and I got an immediate headache, my face was scraped, i bruised my right knee and sprained my right wrist, which would not support my weight so I could get up. Finally, we called 911. While we were at the ER so I could get a CAT scan, we got a text from the landlord asking if we were all right. Someone at the volunteer Fire Department recognized his address and called him to say they had received a 911 call from his address. The locals in these small beach towns are all quite close. BTW, I was fine just very sore for a couple of days.

We are also renting a place on the Maine Coast this summer. The landlords have a cluster of cabins and houses and live on-premises during the season.

Not going to lie, I love my dogs and hate to leave them, even cried once when picking up from the boarder, but I would never bring them on a family vacation with that many kids. :)

So, essentially, I’ve done what I can, other than alerting the rental agency in advance or threatening to. I’m not willing to do that.

I personally like the dogs and doubt that they will be any trouble unless the great nephew has an allergic reaction, or they greet some stranger on the beach who turns us in, or he is busted by some sort of law enforcement. Perhaps he will consider what was said and make other arrangements, as unlikely as that is.

The brother isn’t self-centred; he just cannot comprehend that his beloved dogs would ever cause an issue for anyone else.

Thanks all for responding. I’m stil irritated about it and will probably be so through the whole trip. I’ll let you know how it turns out.

Good luck! Do let us know.

Do have a lovely time! As annoyed as we were, here, I’m sure you understand that it was all on your behalf, @Pied_Pfeffer, and we really wish for a happy vacation/reunion for you all. <3

Thanks all. For now, I just need to build a bridge and get over it.