How do you know you’re old?

I can’t run miles for exercise. It hurts my knees. I miss it and I have dreams where I can run again.

Fucking white hairs. I have plenty to pick out of my beard…

I’m pill free so far, but around 4 years back, I was standing in line to buy a movie ticket and for the first time in my life the ticket lady said “senior?” And instead of the logical reaction—“do I look that old?”—I must have formed a terrifying grimace as the realization hit me, “I’ve been giving away a fortune”. I vowed on the spot to hence forward grab every single senior discount that crosses my path. They’re everywhere, but the tragedy is that I probably remember only about 50% of the time to claim the damned discounts. And my percentage is only that high because some of the kinder youngsters give me the break without me asking. So that’s how you know you’re old. It’s when your memory is so poor that you walk around giving away money.

What doesn’t hurt, simply doesn’t work.

@stanleybmanly :: That is funny. It reminds me of my first shift in the box office when I worked at the theater. It was actually my first experience using a cash register. That shit is harder than it looks.

Jake, my manager was standing over me keeping a eye on things. It was well known I am not good with customers. But I was getting moved to projection and there were a ton of manuals to read. So they shoved me in the box office since I could just read during my down-time.

But there was a lady about ten people back that was just being horrible. Rude to people in line and also talking shit about how slow I was. The microphones are very sensitive.

So she gets to me. “One ticket for Austin Powers”.. That will be $2.25. “Why is it so cheap”.. Oh, I thought you were a senior.

She was in her early 30s and lost her shit.

Jake started laughing and went into the mangers office behind the box office. This made her more mad. He could hear her yelling about my “dorkey glasses,bad skin, big ears, and so on”. And she lobbed in some shit about my hourly wage.

I thought it was funny. Jake decided it was enough and went out front and booted her.

The day I can’t get an erection I will be “old”

You are physically old, when:

- you have aged
– you have grey hairs
– you have wrinkles
– you have alopecia
– you have chronic ailments
– you take many medicines
– you have a poor memory, eye sight and hearing ability.

You are mentally old, when:

-You stop watching cartoons
– You stop enjoying new music
– You dont know, which film has released in the theatre
– You feel tired to go out on a trip
– You get trapped in routing activities and fear challenges
– You stop making new friends
– Overall, you stop celebrating and enjoying life.

You know you’re old when you can count.

The post-heat death universe scoffs at your feeble notions on the meaning of “old”.

Because all the celebrities I crushed on are dead, or look it.

I Don’t know what SMH is.

I stopped saving twisty ties, because I have enough to last til I die now.

I got an AARP bulletin in the mail yesterday.

First I tuck in my flappies, then my shirt.

My baby brother is grey.

Maggots are sitting on my doorstep, waiting.

@PIN_24 I think I’ve been mentally old since 25.

You know you’re old when you understand the etymology of dialling a phone number.

My mother, who is 94, still insists (and has maintained for decades) that “old” is always ten years older than she is at any given age.

^My grandma was like that. She would say “there’s a heat advisory out and we should check on our elderly neighbors, so I have to check on the lady next door.” Who was grandma’s age. Who was 92.

Me and my brother will be talking about medicine we are taking or our latest cholesterol levels and one of us will stop and say we sound like old people talking!

Last Monday, I got on the train to work, and all the seats were taken. As the train left the station and I grabbed the strap, a womand with gray hair but not at all old looking, 50ish, offered me her seat.

All i could think of the rest of the day is, “damn, I must be looking old.”

@zenvelo I wonder about that sort of thing. I sometimes offer my seat to older people, I’m 50, and I wonder if men in particular are offended? Where I live the circumstance is usually that there is standing room only in a room where a presentation is being given. It’s carpeted usually, and I can just sit on the floor.

I’ll turn 70 in October. Is that old? I have a few more aches and pains than I did 30 years ago, and I’m on medication for blood pressure.

But the biggest thing that makes me feel old is this:

What I once did all night takes all night to do it once!

preach it!

I have no idea how I would know that I’m old- I’m only 71!

Actually, it was 50 years ago that I was forced to enlist in the US Navy, and 50 years ago that I was busted for being in the presence of weed.

I saw Jim Morrison for the first time in February, 1967. I saw Janis Joplin perform on the first day of the Summer of Love, 51 years ago.

I saw Jimi Hendrix in concert twice in 1968.

When you stop wanting to be old.

Seriously, if you still try to appear more intellectual, more grounded, more anything than you actually are, chances are you are still not old. Because no one wants something they already have.

I’ve seen old people who remain “young”. They try to be old because they aren’t old. They need validation from others that they’re old. When you are truly old, you stop caring about that.

My skin and hair says I’m old. I started getting applications to join AARP when I was 40, over 20 years ago! I’m not sure what that means but they must have thought I was getting ready for the grave even then!

GA’s for everyone. Thanks for all the answers.

I believe age is only a number. I recall my dad and I going on a fishing trip when he was in his 70s. He was driving and we got stuck in the slow lane behind an elderly driver. He got pissed off and said damn I hate getting stuck behind these old farts. Lol

I rode in an ambulance for the first time in my life this year. That made me feel old. Funny though, the technician was asking me questions and the first thing he asked was :Do you have any medical issues”. I couldn’t believe my ears. I told him, “I’m riding in an ambulance, going to a hospital, of course I have medical issues”.

I rode in an ambulance first, when I was like 5 years old. I had the Flu. I guess I collapsed in kindergarten. I barely remember it…

I sometimes feel old when realize that I can no longer count the number of childhood friends who have passed on one hand two hands.

Sounds like Shelley Winters when she was Roseanne’s grandma.
“Remember that delightful man next door?”
“He’s dead.”

I love Shelley Winters.