How can I make a toddler tell the truth?

Toddlers don’t have any concept of reality. Full reality does happen with humans until they’re 7 or 8 years old. So him or her does know what is real or possibly how the milk got on the rug.

When my youngest was tiny, he asked me, “Daddy, do you remember when you were the baby and I was the daddy?”. He was sincere. And it fucked my shit up. That’s how toddlers roll.

Ask about it, and you’ll likely get a marvelous story. It might involve a dog and a bicycle.
Enjoy.

Generally, I think it depends on the tone in which you ask it. If you ask in a non-judgmental way, “Did you spill the milk?” you might get the truth. but if you shout, “Who spilled the milk?” you’re likely to get a story. They don’t have the concept of truth and lies but if you give them no reason to lie, they might tell you.

One parenting trick is to say ” I know you spilled the milk I want to hear your side”?

@RedDeerGuy1 And then let the milk have equal time for a rebuttal? :-) Your idea is really good actually but the image made me smile.

I know nothing about the right way. I like @janbb’s answer, and @canidmajor.

If I was there I might say while cleaning up the mess, “uh oh, this isn’t good, we don’t want to waste the milk.” Say it in a nice tone, not a tone of castigation.

I’d hope they would learn it’s not good to spill the milk. Problem with children is they like repeating things, and have no problem turning something that is a chore for us into a game for them. Spill the milk, clean up the milk. Spill the milk, clean up the milk. Spill the milk, clean up the milk. Lol.

By example and not punishing him for telling you the truth which will make him lie later.
A toddler is awkward still and learning balance. Perhaps find a cup that he CAN hold easier and if not too old get the cup with the lid on it.

^^Great point. I’m all for setting things up so less mishaps are likely and not putting children in situations they won’t be good at handling. Toddlers are clumsy and awkward and should be treated with realistic expectations.

My MIL recently told me how my husband’s brother was constantly punished by his father for spilling his drink at the table when he was very young. It really sounded like abuse to me. There is no indication he was doing it on purpose, he was simply young. Knowing them they didn’t make sure the cup was away from the edge of the table nor did they probably give him a smaller or lighter weight glass, let alone a glass with a cover. Poor kid. They did a lot of really shitty things to him.

Not that I think the OP is anything like that. It sounds like the OP is more focused on teaching telling the truth, not being punishing.

The truth is a vague concept to toddlers and I’m not sure they understand it in the way mature adults do. The toddler might not fully understand why he or she did it and have difficulty communicating the reason even if aware of it. The carton might have been spilt accidentally, or impulsively, or out of curiosity to see what happened. I don’t think we will ever know. It’s only fair to let the toddler know they shouldn’t have done it however and it would make sense to keep them at a distance from milk cartons until they are a bit older.

Are we discussing toddlers or Trump here? ”..no concept of reality” ; ”...truth is a vague concept…”, “Problem….. is they like repeating things, and have no problem turning something that is a chore for us into a game for them.”

@rojo Lol The image of Trump in the White House in diapers with a twitter machine in one hand and a carton of milk in the other did come to mind.

Thank you all, for your insights!

Don’t punish accidents. They will become fearful of you and of trying anything that they might have to cover up if they fail.

^ GA