What would you do if this happened after bouncing a check?

I would have said “F you” and walked out on his sorry ass. At 60, you are too old to be getting yelled at over small shit like that.

I would get separate accounts. Plus one for just bills.

He’s a controller and flies off the handle when he can’t control everything and me being the wife gets the blunt of it as I am easy going opposite of him. After 30 yrs I am tired of this but the money situation is not good enough that I could walk away and come up with a decent job at 60.I have no saved $ of my own…what a big mistake that was. And he wonders why I am on antidepressants. This whole thing is sad.

Ask him how he wants it handled moving forward, so that this never happens again.

Offer to take over handling finances since you don’t work. It may take some of the pressure off of him.

Whoever is responsible for the finances, there should be a weekly, monthly, or quarterly update with the other partner. Insist on proof.

Do not for a second think that you cannot get a job because of your age. That is a rubbish excuse. It may not pay enough to go out on your own at first, but if that is what you really want, there are additional options.

Financial management is the greatest cause for divorce. It may be worth looking into marital counciling.

I would probably say that I hate the overdraft as much as he but I trusted him and he let me down. Then I might tell him not to worry because we can eat bologna sandwiches on weekdays for a couple of weeks. That should take care of the lost $32. Then I would add I love you even when you make mistakes.

If things are that tight, I think you need to devise some source of income independently regardless of his objections. Sadly, it sounds as though you well may be facing an eventuality apart from him anyway. It’s probably not going to be any easier starting in the future. Besides, if you were away from him more perhaps he might learn to appreciate you.

It’s good you ask him but I would also verify myself to see if there’s enough money in the account so things like this don’t happen again. Maybe there are odd jobs you can perform online or in your town. I would perhaps look into a cheaper alternative to my cell phone.

From now on only pay by cashiers check money order or cash. If he doesn’t like you withdrawing money tell him he has to hand it to you, then you will take care of the bill.

Or since he’s being such an ass, he could just do it himself. That way when he screws up he can’t blame anybody but himself (but you can bet he would try). That’s got to be tough to live like that. I’m sorry.

He won’t let anybody handle anything then complains because he has no help on the farm…he will not LET anyone help. Was going to clean out the barn and he looks at me like I was about to commit the total sin and told me not to.Won’t even let me cut the yard with the riding lawn mower but then complains because he has to do it..he DECIDES to do it. You can never do anything to his expectations. I am sure he is a lonely man inside and insecure.

I would think of the brighter side. Perhaps he was in a bad mood at that time and your mistake caused his anger to skyrocket. This is only a one-time mistake, you won’t be doing the same thing again, not to mention that time will eventually heal his anger and things will be normal again, unless he’s the type that keep bringing the past mistakes just to reprimand you. Feel a bit relief that you didn’t lose too much money.

He could blame you since you were the one who instigated the problem, albeit with good intention. Chances are, he won’t trust you anymore to handle the money as the result of this incident. Just let him do what he usually do and don’t offer help when he doesn’t ask for it. Think of the brighter side, you can enjoy doing whatever you like in your retirement age since someone else insist on doing most the work all by himself anyway.

Since HE is in charge of paying ALL bills simply give him the phone bill to pay.
By letting you pay online knowing nothing of online banking, he set you up for failure to make him look smarter?
He controls everything because he probably thinks that its the man of the house responsibility, which is old school thinking, and a little insecure. He wants you totally dependent on him to make him feel more important and that is why he does not like any help ..because to do so to him it means that you don’t need him.
If you show any kind of initiative like Bee farming etc to make extra money or baking to sell at farmers markets he will still disapprove. Anything where in his eyes it makes him realize that he isn’t managing the farm well will be met with anger.
When you married you became a team, he needs to understand that however he may not agree in sharing. He is afraid that you can do on your own and probably will leave? So be very careful if thinking that as this man sounds unstable and dangerous.

Only because you have described his bad behavior before, I would have said F You!

What you did, was a minor, correctable thing (now you will be more careful and check the account yourself each time, no bigee) What he did, and has done many times before, is to bully you, and treat you with disrespect.

I would be planning my divorce from this man, immediately.