(NSFW)Did Jesus masturbate?

Yes.
Jay Leno once remarked, and, truthfully I might add, that when asked, 50% of men queried admitted that they masturbate. The other 50% lied about it.

Sorry I did not get to answer earlier. I was, um, busy. but yes, there is no reason to believe he did not do so.

I fact, I believe I have heard the term “Immaculate Masturbation” bandied about.

I’ve heard that he didn’t have to, because he had a Harem of Holy Hookers.

If you had his kind of power ,would you?
All you would have to is wish it so and it would be done.

My dad told me once that it is called “self abuse” but that he thought it always felt pretty good.

LMAO, I just thought of a filthy variant of the omnipotence paradox. I’m sure you’ve heard the question: Can God can create a rock so massive that he’s unable to lift it? Now apply that same logic to Jesus masturbating and trying to last for several minutes.

I dunno, but i bet he could spell it right :p

Which begs the question, prior to the immaculate conception, did God engage in immaculate foreplay with Mary or was it just a case of Omnipotent “Wham, Bam, Thank You Ma’am”?

Nah. He had 12 boyfriends to take care of his “needs”.

@rojo The Immaculate Conception is the conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary. Why talk about something of which you are totally ignorant? I understand your point was to be offensive.

No Shit @MollyMcGuire, think you are the only one that has an understanding of Christian Theology?
Sometimes liberties are taken.
Good to know we understand each other though.

No reason to think he didn’t.
I never understood why Mary had to be a virgin. What is the logic behind this myth?

@MollyMcGuire How could anyone in America be ignorant about the immaculate conception? It’s not rocket science. There isn’t a whole lot to understand.

Did Jesus even exist?

Nope.

Probably not. But love the character. I love how they embodied him with all the wisdom and virtues that could be had during that time. Much of it was ahead of the time.

Ok. So, I didn’t know how to spell something that I’ve done thousands of times…....

Happened to me, too, on my question about rope.

^Lol.