What kinds of tasks could a domesticated dog sized spider perform?

Weaving. It could create massive amounts of strong fiber.

What would it eat?

You could train it to hunt and eat sheep so it could then knit woolly jumpers. These giant domesticated spiders are pretty good at knitting having eight arms.

Assassination.

I’d like mine to go remove/relocate budding wasp nests in springtime, and control other bug problems.

What would you have to feed it, though?

It would have to eat people.

They could also be trained to hunt and catch drones and so keep their numbers down.

Are we assuming that its threads and webs are proportionately large?

Spiders have not yet shown themselves to be trainable. Bees, on the other hand, can be trained. You could turn one into a living drone, not to be confused with male bees, which would most likely be of no use at any size.

We could manufacture some fantastic ropes, fabrics, armor, and God help my enemies, pesky Jehovah’s witnesses, those kids who ring my doorbell and run, that girl who allows her dog to poop on my sidewalk….

It’s webs would serve as marvelous air bag replacements, but wouldn’t a dog sized bee require an eagle’s wingspan?

The criminal opportunities would be unlimited. The thing could scale the Trump Tower, raid the penthouses and retrieve 20 times its own weight in loot.

Interesting to see it chase the mail man,or cars.

Simultaneous hoovering, dusting and bug catching. Every home should have one, and they make great pets too.

How big a dog? chihuahua or mastiff?

Spiders are a bunch of assholes. There are no useful tasks they could perform.

@Jeruba Dire Wolf.

Knit me a killer suit of spidersilk armour.

Spiders this size are all over drifting around in outer space. They are drifting towards the earth as their population expands into the few empty spaces that remain. By 2025 or 2030 they will begin falling into the spaces within Earth’s atmosphere in huge numbers. They’ll be literally raining down by 2030.

I think it is part of our planet’s purpose to be eaten by these creatures. Awareness of this reality is probably why the human brain is wired to be afraid of spiders.

Same task as some dogs. Probably do it better. Scare away bad people.

Can they still do the “ballooning” thing where they release a strand of their silk to catch the air and fly? (I read recently that they actually use “electrostatic propulsion” to fly, rather than the silk strand catching the wind, which seems cool even if I know I don’t fully understand it).

And if they can still balloon at that size, how much weight can they carry with them? Can they steer at all? I’m imagining commuting via pet spider.

Cause heart attacks.

@ragingloli, splendid. Do I have to go elsewhere to ask who would win in a battle between a dire wolf and a dire-wolf-sized spider, or can we digress for a moment right here? It’s your thread.

Dire wolves, of course, were not especially domesticated, so a domesticated spider might not stand a chance. But obviously this part is hypothetical.

We also need to know if the size comparison is for the body only, or if it takes in the leg span of the spider. I’m assuming the legs are extra.

We’re getting close to some specs. Don’t stop now.

Well to begin with, why do you suppose the fierce dire wolves went extinct? And then the wolf sized spider. How many land based invertebrates can you name that are the size of a wolf?

If there were enough of them they could make a world wide web.

@flutherother, you are on a roll. Good job.

You can’t train an insect, any more than you can train a gerbil.

I train MY spiders to attack and eat people. Its the cheapest way I know to feed them.

I think its preferable to lethal injection if I can persuade local politicians to consider the idea.

LOL!

Definitely as a “Guard Dog”!
People would be so shocked and afraid just at the sight of it they would stay away!

You’d never have bugs (or mice, rabbits, stray cats, opossums, raccoon’s, skunks etc..) in your yard!

You could train it to carry your backpack, fetch, and- with that many arms- do the dishes and fold laundry !

LMAO!
Great (funny) Question!

@joab “You can’t train an insect, any more than you can train a gerbil.”

Train Your Gerbils To Do Tricks

Also spiders are not insects .

Spiders are insects if you pull two of their legs off.

They still wouldn’t qualify without a thorax.

You could procure one from an ant and use a needle and thread on the spider, It might not live at that point, however.

And possibly you might not live @Yellowdog. We are talking about a large dog sized mutant spider. It might not take kindly to attempts to stitch ant’s legs to it.