What is emotional or spiritual pain and suffering?

I’m still reeling, from my latest debacle of an attempted relationship, with a red head girl. I cost myself a lucrative job, and a girl I foolishly really liked…

I suppose it’s all my fault. My brain had her pegged, as a problem. My heart….. It’s my fault. I’m a fucking idiot. For just a couple days, I thought I had the girl, and the job of my dreams… I guess… I at least had those couple days….....

@MrGrimm888 I screwed up my past too. (((Hugs)))

Les hug it out bruh:)

Heartbreak is an excellent example.
My worst was just as much my fault as anyone else’s. I was such a fool that it isn’t worth repeating here.

It’s amazing how we can be blind to our judgement…

Pain and suffering are indeed recognized by law, or at least here in the U.S.
The sticky part is everyone feels pain and suffering at a depth that is individual, and difficult to put with a value.

I’ll get back to you about the rest of your question.

Is it always one’s fault?
Well about 50% of it is as both parities consent to the partnership whether friend or other.
We consent to reproaching ourselves for lack of insight at a time when we were involved emotionally and thus could not process or would not see the facts of the situation with objectivity.
While in the thrones of what we felt was Love we were blind (Love is blind) to the faults other the other parties motive, since we would not think to do that to another.

Sometimes it takes a fall to be able to shake us up a bit to realize that this universe is full of
both kind and devious individuals.
It took me two to three years to process or filter out the emotional pain so that I could then look at the the situation in objective terms and it was then that I healed and learned that this partner had a pattern of using women as he traveled around the World using there resources and leaving a legacy of broken hearts in the wake.

Looking at it objectively I learned to take responsibility for 50% of that involvement as it was with my consent and unwillingness to see things objectively and to place better boundaries next time in all relationships.

I learned to look after my needs better by not allowing anybody into my life.

It was a lesson well learned and I gained insight into my own needs that were not fulfilled as a child because of feeling abandoned and ignored by irresponsible parents.

I also learned that that is how I became an independent adult and that I was STILL looking outward for Love in my relationships whereas I should had more self Love .

That one bad experience has taught me to be wary of others and look at possible motives other than Love.
I let that person know in a series of text, and emails and even though it took three years he finally apologized however I don’t think that he has understood the ramifications and thus continues to date women and use them still.

I told him that one day he will do that to the wrong women who will then deal with him and not so kindly as I had done.

I see now that I should had been more vocal in anger then calm and quite as I do not like anger nor violence and prefer the calm quiet approach.

This works only on a mature person that can be communicated with in a calm manner. Unfortunately this 53 year old was an immature man who had not learned diplomacy in settling disputes and thus HIS anger is his only method of dealing with any problems so far.

I hope one day that he will learn and thus accept his 50% of most of his own problems that he creates and in effect sabotages his own future.

He was a good friend but not a good partner in business nor Love relationships.
It was too bad as I just think that he did not have good role models in parenting and wanders the world looking to be looked after ( a childhood need still unfulfilled).
I feel sorry for him and pray that he will be able to learn and accept his choices and mistakes and do better there after.

I wish no ill will on anyone, even him.
We are all our brothers and sisters and each needs assistance in our well being.

I am still broken over losing a girlfriend in my mid teens. That was over thirty five years ago.

She was the absolute perfect girlfriend and companion. This relationship was especially important to me because not only was she my first TRUE love (who reciprocated) but I was the kid everyone picked on in my school (she went to a different school and didn’t know how I was supposed to be treated). On the few occasions we were at my school for an event, I think a lot of people were surprised that I had a girlfriend that wasn’t a loser like myself.

Her family moved 315 miles away just at that time I entered tenth grade. There were no cell phones or internet in those days, and long distance was several dollars a minute.

I still awaken periodically with the bleak feeling and desolation I felt the lonesome weeks of early autumn when she first moved. Sometimes, there are parts of our past, our experience, that just won’t heal.

^I think, that once you love someone, there’s no way to rid yourself of at least a small part of that original love. Regardless of the circumstances, that tore you from that individual.

I.suppose that evolution understood that none of us will be perfect, and it is likely that we will hurt one another, even if we don’t realize it. And so, our love needs to override our objectivity, or else we would never form lasting bonds, that are essential for our specific species.