Do you remember the first time you were sexually harassed?

In recess grade three two girls dragged me through the rocks from one side of the schoolyard to the other. Scratched my back up good.

That’s too bad. What made you think it was sexual, though?

@Dutchess_III They laughed at me. I don’t know why. I think they liked me. One girl is on my Facebook today.

The very first time was 1st grade. It was recess and I was way out in the field by myself. I was new and very shy. Five boys cornered me against the fence and told me I needed to fix my shirt because it was inside out. They kept insisting I take it off and fix it there. I was horrified. Luckily the bell rang and they all ran away.

Jesus. The shit they learned from society and from the men in their lives. I think it’s getting better for them now. I hope.

I’m very fortunate; it has not happened to me.

^^ Just you wait, Dutchman. :-)

In 8th grade, a guy and a girl made inappropriate (sexual and mocking) comments about me; that’s the closest I’ve ever come to experiencing sexual harassment, so I’m fortunate that nothing more than that happened. I don’t count having my butt grabbed at a party in college, because I encouraged that :P

Elementary school : (

I hadn’t thought about that in 40 years. I won’t describe.

Yes. This year.

I had a male cousin that taunted me constantly as a child. Chased me to kiss me and put his hand between my legs. It was a constant fight. Then, at school when I started wearing a bra, all the boys thought it hilarious to snap the back of it. We always had our tartan uniform skirts lifted up. That was just a daily thing. I hated boys from a very early age.

Once at about age 13 by an adult man, then a few times in late teens, then once as an adult.

God they could be such assholes, couldn’t they @ScienceChick. Where do they even learn that shit?

When I was 12 I made a “friend” at a lake where I was staying with my family in a cabin. The friend was a male. At one point he asked if I wanted to go row boating. I said, “Sure.” In retrospect I can NOT believe my mom and dad let me go.
Out in the middle of this huge lake he started talking about his penis and how hard it was, and how he wore it “streaming up.” He said how he could rape me and throw me over board and no one would know. I was terrified. It was still a couple more years until I figured out that NO man was safe to be alone with, except my father.

I started throwing punches and jabs when I reached about 16 or 17. Of course, I was the one who got in trouble, because I wasn’t being ‘A Lady’. A stiff jab to the solar plexus can be hilarious when the drunk arsehole isn’t expecting it after he tries to pull your top down to expose your breasts. (picture me trying to look nice at a wedding with a peasant style blouse with smocking and elastic. I felt brave wearing it, knowing I would probably have to defend myself.)

I hit a guy once. He punched me across the room.
Grabbed and twisted a few grasping fingers, though. They always seem so shocked at that kind of response. It’s like, “You’re acting like you don’t like it or something, and I know that’s not true! You love it and you know it!”

I guess elementary school. I don’t know if this counts. A boy made fun of my underwear. I had on a skirt. After that when I wore a skirt to school I wore shorts under it.

If that doesn’t count, then when one of my dad’s friends commented on how thin I was and lifted my shirt to touch my stomach. I think I was 12.

The next incident would be 16 in high school, then 18 a doctor. More after that. Nothing too terrible thank God.

I guess like kindergarten. A girl kept trying to touch my penis. We were acquaintances from school, and I don’t remember why we were hanging out. She went so far, as to say she wanted to draw it. She asked me if she could trace it on a piece of paper. When I didn’t let her, she drew a picture of a penis (very rudimentary, but you could tell what it was.)

She grew tired of trying, and threw the drawing in a trash can, insulted me, and left. I later told her friend about the incident. I even dug the drawing out of the trash as proof…

There are two that happened around the same age, and deary me, we were all young. I must have been around six years old.

1. The boy next door (same age) and I often played together. One day, he suggested that pull down my underpants so that he could have a look, and then he would do the same. I to.d him “No”, and brushed it off.

2. There was a set of monkey bars at the bottom of a hill across the street from my best friend’s house. We often went over there to play on them. On day, a neighborhood boy, a few years older than us, showed up. He suggested that we play “house”. He would be the dad, my friend would be the mother, and I would be their little girl. At one point, he said that I needed my diaper changed and he would do it. My friend and I took off running for her house laughing at the thought of it.

At six years old back in the sixties, probably the only warning I had ever been taught was not to cross the street before looking both ways. I had no idea what sex was or that people could be predators.

He got his.

@Pied_Pfeffer so much was hidden and swept under the rug in the 60’s. Looking back, I’m certain that the little girls across the street from us were sexually abused. They just knew things small children wouldn’t have any other way of knowing. But nobody said a single word. I don’t think people even thought it was possible then.

@Dutchess_III To be fair, we don’t know all of the facts in every case, especially if we weren’t involved. That is the biggest challenge in an any case of accusation, at least in the US. To a degree, it is fair. There needs to be proof in order to prove someone guilty.

Should hersay be enough to prosecute? This is why being sexually harassed is so often hard to prove. This is why it is so important to educate our children, both female and male, that sexual curiosity and desires exist and how to manage them. Our children need to understand what the boundaries are. They need to feel safe talking to their parents about them.

Oh, I know that. But that fact that as an adult I could look back and say those kids knew stuff they shouldn’t know, made me wonder how the entire neighborhood of adults didn’t see it. I wonder how my parents even let me go into their house. The only explanation, I suppose, is that they didn’t think it was actually possible for adult men to be sexually aggressive with children….although surely many women had to have known better. I think my Mom was one of them too.

Oh, this was in the early 60’s, BTW. For some perspective.

@Dutchess_III You and I are about the same age and talking about examples from about the same timeframe. This is unless you mean something else from our generation.

I don’t understand your comment @Pied_Pfeffer. I’m saying that there was some very strong evidence that the little girls across the way were being sexually molested. It was a different era though, so they probably never said anything. If they did they probably wouldn’t have been believed.

@Dutchess_III We can believe anything. What you recall from such a young age isn’t fact unless proven in the eyes of the US court. That is the challenge with sexual harassment and sometimes sexual abuse cases. Even if taught about it and how to handle it, or they report it to an adult on their own, it can still be dismissed.

Let’s hope that times have changed. In some countries, it has. Others still need to move forward when it comes to addressing this topic.

It’s not like I’m going forward with a lawsuit on what I remember from when I was 6! I don’t understand why you’re taking it to that level.

@Dutchess_III I understand that. My comments were only to point out that IF someone was to speculate that a child or children were sexually harassed or molested, it needs to be proven.

Your speculation as an adult from what you witnessed as a child is unlikely to hold up in a court of law. P

Well, since it isn’t going to a court of law it doesn’t matter.