What has been your prison? (I’m not talking about criminal prison)

This is not prison. It is more like the sleep-away camp you didn’t want to attend in 8th grade.

My fish pond. Every morning the bag filters need to be changed, and washed out. The water level needs to be topped up, the fish need to be fed; the bug zapper emptied.
In the afternoon, the fish need to be fed again and the skimmer emptied.
There is always something that needs maintenance. I can’t walk away from it without having someone take care of business.
Like summer camp it does give me pleasure when I look at it from a distance.

Low self-esteem had been my prison; it’s not any more.

Trying to fit in with my family of origin. Like @janbb, not my prison anymore.
GQ, @JLeslie.

Depression was mine.
Also my self-inflicted conformism was.

But now you can all go and fuck yourselves (matter of speakingly). ~

Most decisions I’ve made in my adult life have revolved around keeping me safe from a health perspective.

Did not go to the most prestigous college that accepted me; picked my college because it had better support systems in place and I expected it to be a lower-stress environment. I don’t regret my choice but that was probably the first major decision in my life that would have likely gone down differently if I’d been healthy.

Did not follow my dream of studying physics, as that would have involved getting my Ph. D and being poor for awhile. I needed to be employable earlier in my life than that would have allowed for. Instead I studied computer science, not a passion of mine, so that it’d be easy to get and maintain employment. I have found contentment in this field, but it was not my plan and it would not have happened if I’d been healthy.

Employment is so important because the insurance market outside of employer-sponsored insurance is too unstable and unsafe for someone like me. I will be beholden to my employer in order to stay alive until I turn 65 or there is a major policy change…whichever comes first. Losing a job is devastating for anyone, but it’s life or death when you’re this expensive.

I do not feel safe leaving the state of Massachusetts in the current political climate. The cost of real estate here is extraordinary, so I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to buy a home, but it’s better that than gamble my life in a state with fewer healthcare regulations in place.

If the ACA gets overturned in the current court case that is challenging it (Texas v. US) I may end up locked into my current job, unable to leave because a new employer’s insurer could deny me coverage for some waiting period that I probably couldn’t survive. God help me if I get laid off.

If the ACA gets overturned, I may not be able to start the medication that my doctor is recommending for me, because it costs $50,000 a year, and without the ACA, annual caps could come back. Even MassHealth doesn’t protect me against those. With $50K in baseline maintenance costs, I’d be able to have very little additional health spending before hitting my cap, so an emergency would push me over the line.

Health is my prison. Healthcare politics even moreso.

I think grief was my prison for a while, but I think that’s pretty normal. I feel better now and am filled with gratefulness for the time we had.

My arthritic knees,they are keeping me from doing things with Mrs Squeeky.

PTSD from childhood abuse.

Living in very rural America for 8 years. We’re almost free!

My brain.

My greatest ally
and my greatest adversary.

Inability to make enough money to live a fairly ideal and comfortable life.

I had severe, crippling health anxiety in my 20’s and early 30’s. I was a complete hypochondriac, not unlike one of our current users. Since age 33 or so I have not had any sign of it.

My boss gave me a small decorative box when I retired.
I quipped that it was the box in which the company kept my soul.