It does bother me that people continue to not understand that women are assaulted all the time. I use assault very broadly here, I’m including verbally, mentally, sexually, and physically. It also bothers me the lack of understanding why women don’t report it. Sometimes they tell no one, sometimes they tell a friend or family member, but sometimes it’s years later. Sometimes they actually report it to the authorities, but often these things are kept to oneself.
The times I’ve been sexually assaulted, I didn’t report it to the police, that never even occurred to me. I did tell people here and there what happened, usually it was during a discussion something like this. Luckily, I’ve never been raped, and everything that happened to me I was able to get away reasonbly quickly.
Anita Hill was a little different than Kavanaugh. One a work situation, one drunk teenagers. The Anita Hill situation was really horrible. I believed her, and still do.
I believe Ford, but if this is the only time Kavanaugh did such a thing I can forgive to an extent, I am not sure I forgive to the extent that I’m ok with him serving on the Supreme Court. I asked a Q about it since I’m unsure, to hear other opinions. 17 is young, but not THAT young.
I think things are better now than 50+ years ago. I think women are respected more now, and I think men under 50 especially understand boundaries better.
All of that doesn’t change that women often don’t and won’t tell anyone that they were assaulted when it happens. It seems almost impossible to make someone understand who has never been through it. Even other women, if they somehow have been lucky enough to never have had anything happen to them, even a lot of those women, don’t understand why women wait to report or don’t report.
To me it makes perfect sense that women don’t report every time a man attempts something, or grabs them, or uses their power to make sexual advances. It’s too bad that’s the case, but it makes sense.
I remember in college hearing about a girl being really really drunk and supposedly a guy having sex with her while others watched, and we freaked out when we heard, but then on our way to the room we were told someone else stopped the whole thing. To me that’s rape. I don’t think she was able to consent. Nobody called the police as far as I know. Maybe she did “consent” in her drunken state. I admit to thinking, this is why girls shouldn’t get so drunk. Not that I think it was her fault, I still to this day think she was raped, but it’s more me saying keep your wits about you, because men can do some pretty awful things. One of those guys, either the guy raping her, or watching, might now be a dad with three kids, and be a judge right now, who the hell knows. They all were drinking together on my brother floor when it happened. A lot of people were drinking like so many nights in my dorm.
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