Is self-confidence taught or is it innate?

It’s mostly genetic IMO

I wasn’t born with self confidence; however, it did develop after I moved away from home & was out on my own & it helped to protect me. I don’t see over preparing to be a lack of self confidence just as I don’t see doing things last minute as being self confident…it’s simply 2 different paths of arriving at the same end!!!

Mostly innate, but sometimes it needs to be encouraged and strengthened.

Most definitely taught, acquired. You can beat and/or bully it out of someone, so it is not innate. And you can inspire it through positive influence!

It could be either or both.

Neither as it is learned from doing a skill over and over until one becomes proficient in it.

I think it stems from how her mind processes successes. You stated that you have great anxiety over teaching, but do a good job. But you still have anxiety every time. I suspect at one time, she had anxiety, but then did a great job and learned she had a talent for it. The next time, her anxiety may have been less. Each success boosts her view of herself and her abilities, raising her self-confidence.
It may also be that she processes things differently. For example, she knows what goes into teaching and has a formula for success set up in her mind. She doesn’t need to over-prepare, she just follows the formula.

True self confidence, by definition, has to be instinctive.
That’s not to say it can’t be taught, a psychiatrist for instance, would teach techniques to dampen the demanding critic of their patient who suffers from anxiety resulting in, eventually, certainly a form of self confidence.

I’m in the “taught” camp.

Just changed my mind on a rethink. I think it is innate, but can be removed, diminished, destroyed, and maybe sort of renewed.

My instinct is to suspect this is more “nurture” than “nature.” If I’m being completely honest with myself though, I do tend to bias away from “nature” probably more than is accurate. So I’m going to defer my opinion until I’ve seen what the scientists have come up with. I’m sure there has to be some data/studies looking into this question somewhere, right?

Another ‘taught’ here. Shy kid, had to take poise classes, mom had to force me to speak about ‘how I felt’, very shy of public speaking, etc…

Now I can speak in front of any audience or media on a regular basis with no issues at all, and all my feedback is positive. It’s so nice not to be afraid anymore.

I think one is just born with it, but it can be acquired, or at least people can learn to pretend to be confident.
It can also be bullied or beat out of you so you don’t trust your own confidence any more. It’s still there. You just don’t believe in it any more.
I think the Obamas are an excellent example of innate confidence.
GW Bush is an example of pretend / taught confidence.

I think it’s gained through experience—i.e., not taught but learned.

Some people may acquire it more readily than others, especially if they’re outgoing in nature or have plenty of encouragement, but I think it’s best aided by knowing what you’re doing (preparation, practice) and accomplishment (putting in effort, setting goals and achieving them).

I also think some proportion of people who appear confident are actually successfully practicing some form of the fake-it-till-you-make-it principle. Seeming to be confident can make you confident because people believe in you. It’s as powerful a cycle as self-deprecation, which works in the opposite direction.

I think that I’ve started to think that it’s neither. It’s not innate, and it’s not taught.

I think it’s something that we have to develop. And that’s not to say that others can’t help nurture its development in us—they can and do (and can do the opposite, too). And it’s not to say that it might not come more easily for some than others due to their circumstances or disposition or what have you.

But I think confidence is probably more than anything a result of us experiencing, over and over again, that we will fail sometimes, but we won’t fail all the time, we will get better over time if we keep at it, and none of this has any bearing on our self worth. These aren’t things that can be told or shown or “taught” to someone, I don’t think. That hasn’t been my experience, anyway. If they’re just words, they don’t really mean anything, they aren’t a part of us. I think we need to actually experience this until we believe it. (And it’s in these experiences, I think, that others can help nurture our development of confidence or help undermine it.) Kind of like what @Jeruba said, I think, just a little later, and wordier!

I’m also not sure that nerves/anxiety and confidence are necessarily opposites. I can feel confident in my ability to do something and yet be nervous or anxious about it all the same—maybe because it’s something I really care about, or it’s something I feel is critical to do/perform/execute as well as possible (with little to no margin of error), or it’s just not something I do often enough for it to feel normal, etc.

In what ways do you feel you over-prepare? Can you make some changes to your preparation process the next time you are teaching something, to see what happens?

This is just a thought I had: It might be less about confidence, and more that over-preparing and feeling-anxious have become ingrained parts of your preparation process, if that makes sense? Almost like you know you’ll “do a great job” if these two elements are a part of your process? Maybe if you make some small, calculated experiments in how you prepare, you can start to (gradually) shift your preparation process to something that isn’t so emotionally draining/taxing?

Some kids are naturally extravert and confident and others are not. Having expertise and experience can help boost confidence but only up to a point. I think we are mostly stuck with such confidence as we are born with. Loving parenting is essential for self-esteem but that isn’t quite the same as having confidence.

@Soubresaut I’m not unhappy with my prep, I enjoy it and being thoroughly prepared, helps me be spontaneous while teaching. It’s the stage fright that bothers me but it kind of is what it is as this point. I was just wondering if it was something inbred or if my parents could have helped more – not that they were terrible.

Oh, gotcha. There are things you can do to improve stage fright, but if it’s just an “in the wings” kind of thing goes away once you’re “on stage” and isn’t inhibiting you, then yeah, probably not a huge thing. (I thought you meant you felt anxiety during the preparation and/or during the lesson).

It can be both, but it depends also on receptive willingness.
When we were small children, my brother would strike up a conversation with anybody. I was not only shy, but also petrified by my little brother telling people all about himself, rattling off our address, phone number, ages, parents names, all those things we tell kids to not say to strangers.
When I joined 4H, the activities included giving helpful demonstrations for the group and our mothers. It helped me a great deal.
We both joined the Navy. I taught midshipmen in on board exercises. My brother was offered a teaching position at an electronics school, but declined because he didn’t want to be put on the spot.
There are different types of self confidence.
I taught those kids because they would eventually be officers, and be in charge of the lives of people like me. I was sure of my knowledge, and I wanted them to be good at what they do. But, when it comes to meeting new people, I am still kinda stuck.

So some of it is whatever you start with, and more comes depending on your environment, plus your willingness or desire to cultivate it.
I see you here, frequently displaying self confidence, but that doesn’t mean you will feel it in all areas of your life.
One big turning point for me was watching a training film. It showed an actual situation where a line under great stress snapped, and a sailor on deck was sliced.
The scene in Die Hard III was brutally accurate.
Speaking up, getting those kids’ attention, and teaching them well was important to me, because lives and body parts.

Having the willies never goes away for some.
Lots of celebrities have discussed throwing up before or after performances.
In my opinion, it just means you care very much about the quality of your presentation.

Thanks @Patty_Melt !