Why can't Santa be a woman?

Mrs Claus made those items specifically for you & Santa is just delivering them!!!
My Mom only ever got one orange for Christmas & she was thrilled to get it!!!
You should feel thankful to be blessed with anything that old fart brings you!!!

Because his name is Klaus.

She could be. It would require a certain amount of skill and strength, but it’s possible.
In the old west, there was a stage coach driver named ”...Charley Parkhurst of California. Charley handled the reins as well as anyone, fended off a goodly number of bandits and accidents, and even in old age – plagued by rheumatism and the loss of an eye from a horse’s kick – continued to drive, chew tobacco, drink moderately and gamble a bit. Finally Charley retired to a small farm near Watsonville, California, and died of cancer in 1879. It was only when friends came to prepare the driver’s body for burial that they discovered that Charley Parkhurst was in fact a woman.” -from The Old West series from Time-Life books, “The Expressmen”

Because…..they’d be asking her all the time when she was due and then she’d get mad because she isn’t pregnant and that would be the end of Christmas. That’s why.

@Flutherother is a grinch. Santa’s a man. He has a beard!

The Lost Female Figures of Christmas (and no, this is not a site about overeating on the holidays).

Ho ho ho?

I thought Santa was Swedish….

I thought he was an Inuit (from the North Pole.)

Hm. Well. Northern Alaska? Of maybe from the other side of the Bering strait? Where Russia is? Well, Siberia, anyway.

Time to research.

According to this, it’s Turkey…

Nicholas

The legend of Santa Claus can be traced back hundreds of years to a monk named St. Nicholas. It is believed that Nicholas was born sometime around 280 A.D. in Patara, near Myra in modern-day Turkey. Much admired for his piety and kindness, St. Nicholas became the subject of many legends. It is said that he gave away all of his inherited wealth and traveled the countryside helping the poor and sick. One of the best known of the St. Nicholas stories is that he saved three poor sisters from being sold into slavery or prostitution by their father by providing them with a dowry so that they could be married. Over the course of many years, Nicholas’s popularity spread and he became known as the protector of children and sailors. His feast day is celebrated on the anniversary of his death, December 6. This was traditionally considered a lucky day to make large purchases or to get married. By the Renaissance, St. Nicholas was the most popular saint in Europe. Even after the Protestant Reformation, when the veneration of saints began to be discouraged, St. Nicholas maintained a positive reputation, especially in Holland.

Because she’d crash the sleigh, turn up late & blame it all on pmt ;-}

Why can’t Santa be a man? God is a man, right?

Why can’t Santa be God?

Because Santa is an analgram of Satan.

Anal?

Well, God is an analgram of Dog.

And dogs love sniffing other dogs’ anal openings.
See? It all makes sense! Take that, atheists!

<<<<< Atheist looking around, very confused…..

God is an anagram of dog.

An analgram could be a picture of an asshole.

What ever rattles your cage.

Ho Ho Ho its magic, you know.
Never believe its not so