Are you actually supposed to wear black to a funeral?

IT ALL DEPENDS !

I went to a funeral where the family requested all to wear Hawaiian shirts and bright dresses !

Dark colors are preferable, but reasonable folks care more about your showing up than your costume.

More tradition than anything else.

But it depends on the person and what his/her attitude on life was. I remember reading something about a famous clown who died – it could have been Emmett Kelly – and his wish was to have people show up at his funeral in goofy, clownish outfits.

Remember that in some religions, a funeral is supposed to be a celebration of the person’s life and time to remember him or her, NOT a time to mourn and be sad.

I think darker clothes show respect.
But I agee with @stanleybmanly asnwer best.

Black if you have it, but not a cute LBD for when you want to go out on a Friday.

And if you don’t have an appropriate black outfit, don’t go out and buy something new for a funeral.

In some cultures, you wear white as a sign of mourning.

Not if you go to a clothing-optional funeral. ;-p

Basically it is meant to be drab, so as to not detract from the somber tone. Different people each have their own ways of processing loss of a loved one. Drab clothing is to not upset those who see a show of fun or cheer as painful. They aren’t ready to stop crying yet.

In Chinese culture it’s more about what’s not to wear than what you should wear for the funeral. I have seen it pretty common in Western funeral where people wear all black during the procession so it’s cultural dependant more or less.

For me, we’re not supposed to do any bloody thing.
As for funerals, been to one where the deceased asked for everyone to wear purple, which we did, so I rocked up as Prince…okay, that’s a lie of sorts but still.

I usually wear black (I’m in America) but I’ve noticed more and more people don’t necessarily wear black. I think it has loosened up like so many dress codes for everything. I think as long as you aren’t calling attention to yourself then it’s fine. What I mean is it should be relatively conservative dress and not a big bright stand out color. Unless, the host specifically asks for bright or a theme, if maybe the deceased loved a certain color or place or music to honor them.

I just went to a memorial service and wore a longish maroon corduroy dress with a small pattern on it. Many people were in black but I didn’t feel out of place.

In the US, black was initially chosen as the color of a mourning spouse or grieving Mother. Bright colors were only worn by women of ill repute. When a woman became a widow, she was required to wear black for the year following her spouse’s death. That was considered a normal grieving period & it let any man approaching her know that she was unavailable & to leave her alone. Then others started wearing black to the funeral out of respect for the deceased & to indicate that they. too, were grieving. Over the years, it just became a tradition to wear black to a funeral to indicate grief. I don’t go to many funerals; but when I do, I go for dark colors & try to NOT wear anything flashy that will draw attention away fom the somber mood of the funeral. Of course, when I was growing up, every young lady kept 1 black dress in her closet because you could dress it up, or dress it down, & you’d always be prepared for a funeral!!!

I told my family that when I die, I don’t want a funeral. I want to be cremated and I don’t care what they do with the ashes. I want them to not be all sad and mourn. I’ve had a great life that should be remembered for the fun ride it was. Have a party, get drunk and silly. If you want to wear black (even the LBD @zenvelo mentioned) then do so. It doesn’t offend me at that point…I will have moved on. I finished the game and crossed the finish line we all have to cross.

Not so much any more I don’t think. Even weddings have become much more informal. The workplace has become much more informal. I’ve had a question about that rolling around in my head for about a week. Not sure how to word it though.

Yes, it’s just tradition, so it would depend on the family and their preferences. Generally any dark color is acceptable, dark blue or dark grey, etc…

My grandfather had a celebration of life rather than a funeral. It was non-religious, many people wore slacks or jeans, we had drinks and apps and was held at a local senior center he frequented. I quite enjoyed it and intend on much the same for myself.

This is me and my son at Mom’s memorial. She was an artist. She would have loved the dress and the colors and giant flowers.

Thanks, guys. I’ve never been to a funeral before, I’ve always chosen not to attend them. I just didn’t want to be disrespectful.

As I have gotten older funerals are coming more frequent and that is not a good thing ,but unless you have to give the uligy ,just be there for respect of the family .

@SQUEEKY2 Eulogy.

I don’t like funerals either. They are so damn archaic and morbid.

Thank you for correcting me @KNOWITALL .

My step mom made it very clear she didn’t want a funeral, she said celebration of life ,and that was great.

@SQUEEKY2 De rien!

I didn’t wear black to the funerals of either of my parents. I knew they wouldn’t care, though I know they would have found jeans disrespectful.

The most important funeral I have ever, in my whole life, been to was my first husband’s. It was over 40 years ago, and I wore a lime green hound’s-tooth suit. Yes, it was an in-your-face statement to some who attended, but looking back, it probably hurt his parents. If it did, I really regret that.

Were you trying to make a statement of some kind, or is that just what you wore?

@Dutchess_III, My first husband and I were reared in what I now call a cult, but it was all we knew. He started figuring things out long before I did and quit going to their services. They consigned him to hell, until he was killed, then they made stupid statements and “prayed him right out of hell and into heaven.” They were being ignorant jerks, and I was able to see through the lie, finally starting to put a litany of other fakery together as well. I was so angry.
The funeral had to be in that church, because most of the family were members, so I used the suit as a statement. It was probably wasted, because I doubt they were able to “get it.”

But his true friends were there filling that church to standing room only, and I fear it hurt them. His whole family, of course, was there, and they may have been hurt. My husband had been his whole family’s “favorite son,” the one they knew would do great things, the one most loved, the one who died so young. I wish, for their sakes, that I hadn’t done that. <groan>

I understand why you did, though. I’d like to hear more of that story sometime.

Personally, were I to look down (or up) on myself in a coffin, I would prefer to see those assembled in the attire familiar to me. Overalls, bathrobes and slippers— some in suits, others in t shirts. It’s all good. And on the coffin, to confuse those in attendance, a big banner to display a truly stupid tenet of my youth “The Clothes Make the Man”

I wear some semblence of black. To my FIL’s service I wore black pants and a black shirt with a bright flower print on it.

For my Mom’s I went out of my way to buy a black skirt with Georgia Okeefe type flowers on it. Mom was an artist.