My ex girlfriend broke up with me about a week ago. Why Won’t she give me my stuff back?
Asked by
Rowilli96 (
32
)
December 22nd, 2018
from iPhone
We had a really bad argument in which we both said some harsh things to one another. She blocked me on everything, and even deleted all our pictures. She told me she don’t love me but it sounds like it was out of anger. We have had no contact for the past 4 days and when we did I asked for my belongings back before she blocked me. She dumped me over text and not to mention we had a 9 month relationship. Am I pushing her by overwhelming her? Should I give it more time? I really do love and care for her, but I really need my belongings I have alot of important stuff at her place.
Observing members:
0
Composing members:
0
17 Answers
Leave her alone for now. Try again in a week. You know you can actually use the phone to call a person? Instead of texting, call her and tell her you need your stuff back. Tell her a date and time you will be by to pick it up. Tell her to leave it outside if she doesn’t want to see you.
Let this be a lesson in never leaving your important stuff at a S/O’s place. You never know how things could end.
If you gave these things to her as gifts, don’t expect them back. But do do as @chyna mentioned above; Give her space and time.
@chyna but I’m completely blocked. The last time we had conversations she was telling me love and needed me, and the next morning I get a text that she is going to heal herself and told me not to contact her anymore. I texted her and asked for my belongings( alot of clothes, shoes, and important papers) the message went through but out of nowhere when I tried to call I realized I was blocked from everything. Now what?
You don’t mention your ages, affects my answer. Are you both adults, or were you teenage boyfriend-girlfriend?
Who cares about whether or not she’s willing to give it to you? It’s your stuff, your private belongings. Call a friend to help you pick up your stuff and visit her home to take your stuff. Tell her you’re there just to pick your stuff and move on, you’ll never bother her ever again. Detaining other people’s personal stuff on purpose will make her liable for lawsuit.
@thank Love my doggie I’m 23 and she is 21. Some women told me to give her space and time until she is ready to reach back out to me. Like just to completely block me from life with no type of understanding Is wrong. This all jus sucks especially since New Years and Christmas is around the corner. I reached out to a mutal friend, and she said that my ex said she will give me my stuff on her time. She said I’m no longer in control.
Sounds like you’re no longer in control then.
Send flowers to apologize. Say please talk to me. Stop making it about the stuff ding dong, she is hurting!
I reached out to a mutal friend, and she said that my ex said she will give me my stuff on her time. She said I’m no longer in control.
There’s your answer!!! I don’t know either of you but it appears that she’s convinced that YOU need to be in control of her life & she’s NO longer buying into that concept!!!
Control freaks NEVER see themselves as control freaks..they just know better than you do what it is you need!!! I’m NOT saying you’re a control freak…I’m saying SHE sees you as a control freak & in healing herself, she needs HER control back!!!
Leave her alone & she will work through her anger in her own time. During that time, she may well get to missing you & even forgive you for what SHE thinks you have done. You 2 may end up back together & you might NOT even need to move your stuff in order to have access to it!!!
I STRONGLY suggest that you use this tragedy as one of your LIFE LESSONS!!! Keep your important papers at YOUR home & under YOUR control (preferably in a fireproof lockbox)..the clothes & shoes CAN be replaced although it might be an inconvenience. DON’T use the excuse that you “need” your clothes & shoes as she’l see right through that “excuse” as your way of still trying to control her!!!
Give this butterfly her wings but do NOT allow her to walk all over you…there is a middle ground in there somewhere!!!
You could call the non emergency number for the police department and see what they suggest.
Why not ask her friend to be an intermediary and arrange a time for the friend and you to go over when she’s not there to get your stuff.
The reactions here are all over the place, ranging between suing her and simply forgetting and replacing your personal items. My own take – I agree with @janbb.
The young lady is hurting and doesn’t want to hear from you now, not even indirectly. But, you can give it a week or so, perhaps until after the New Year, when emotions might be less raw. Then, I’d ask a mutual friend to call her (not a text or email, but a telephone call) and offer to do a hand-off. Someone who likes you both, and who won’t take sides or be judgmental, would be comforting. That person could stop by and collect your things, thus causing as little pain as possible for you and your ex.
Wouldn’t it all depend on how valuable the things are and her reason for keeping them from him? When my first husband and I split up he took the safe deposit box key and refused to let me retrieve my mother’s wedding set. I didn’t think he’d do anything with them, he was just being an asshole. I just waited him out. I brought it up every 3 months or so. It took 2 years.
If I thought he’d get rid of them I would have quickly taken legal action.
Contact police.
They can arrange to meet you there. With police escort, they can demand entry, ONLY to retrieve personal belongings.
With police along, you can quickly get your things, no speaking to each other.
So far as the relationship…
count that as over forever.
Response moderated (Spam)
Answer this question 
This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.
Composing members:
0
