What's the worst curse you've ever heard?
I’m not referring to vulgarities or obscenities. I mean a kind of “reverse blessing.” Here is are some examples:
“May you corner the alfalfa market, at the height of the hay fever season.”
“May you miss the Powerball Lottery jackpot by only one number.”
“May you have a horrendous itch, that you are unable to scratch.”
“May Burger King and your girlfriend BOTH refuse to ‘do it’ YOUR way.” (Johnny Carson 1925–2005)
“May your daughter grow up to be as beautiful as Moms Mabley.”
August 22, 2008, 3:47 PM EDT
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17 Answers
“may you live in interesting times”
August 22nd 2008 2000 ZULU
avada kedavra!
16:07 pm august 22nd, 2008. New York time
On Rocko’s Modern Life, Filbert got this in a fortune cookie:
“Bad luck and misfortune will infest your pathetic soul for all eternity.”
Needless to say, he had quite a bad day.
“May you get the job of your dreams then be fired the next day.”
16:09 August 22nd, 2008 EDT
“May your scrotum be filled with bee’s and your penis be a honey receptacle.”
(Mom hated me)
Robert Graves’ “A Traveller’s Curse Upon Misdirection”:
May they stumble, stage by stage
On an endless Pilgrimage
Dawn and dusk, mile after mile
At each and every step a stile
At each and every step withal
May they catch their feet and fall
At each and every fall they take
May a bone within them break
And may the bone that breaks within
Not be, for variations sake
Now rib, now thigh, now arm, now shin
but always, without fail, the NECK.
I can’t find the damn quote, but the Mangiacavallo Curse from an episode of The Golden Girls that involves something like “may your socks aways fall down in your shoes” or something. Every time I try to find that quote, my IE freezes. I hate work computers.
“I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!”
- Monty Python
Come back here you pansy! I’ll bite your legs off!
The Holy Grail is my favorite!
My own mother (God rest her soul, SOON!) once said to me:
“If you ever have children, I hope they act just like you!”
(I got a bilateral vasectomy at age 15.)
August 22, 2008, 5:07 PM EDT
when i was on probation my mom told me…
Lifes a Bitch, then you die…
I have heard, “Life’s a Bitch, then you marry one.”
August 23, 2008, 3:12 AM EDT
A variation on the old Irish blessing (to make it into a curse) is this:
“May you be dead and in Heaven, a half-hour before 9–1-1 is dialed.”
August 23, 2008, 1:10 PM EDT
May your blood turn to vodka and all the bedbugs get drunk on it and dance the mazurka in your bellybutton. (Jewish)
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