Have you ever been raped?

I know several women who have been raped. One of them recently “came out” and told all of her friends and family. She was raped in her early 20’s. She is now in her mid 50’s. She has been dealing with the agony and the shame, quietly, since it happened.

Another friend was raped when she was 15, by a family friend. She kept quiet about it, because she was so ashamed, as if something about her, made this piece of shit neighbor kid decide to force himself on her. She only told me and her sister, to this day.

Another woman, who has become a close friend in the last two years, told me that she was raped by a former boyfriend. She had to escape from him in the middle of the night, and was on the run from him for years. He still doesn’t know where she currently lives.

I know that several Jellies have been raped, because they have shared their stories.

I wonder what it must be like for these rape victims to walk down the street and have to listen to strange men yell out to them that they would like to fuck them. I wonder if they are ever turned on by such comments, or if they are disgusted, or further traumatized.

I wonder if these types of comments make them feel sexy and beautiful.

I’ve never been raped.

I know a lot of women who have been raped. I know them in real life and here on fluther.

Most were date raped or party situations.

I can think of three that were stranger rape. Although, one of them they wound up suspecting someone in the community. She was violently raped, using objects and killed. It was a horrific story. I didn’t know her well, I knew her sister only as an acquaintance. It was in the newspapers.

Another stranger rape was the daughter of one of the people on my staff when I worked at Bloomingdales. Her daughter was in her 30’s at the time. She was driving out of the Target parking lot, stopped to merge onto the main road, and when she stopped the guy jumped into her passenger seat (always lock your doors) and he had a weapon (I don’t remember if it was a gun or knife). He made her drive to a construction area where no one was around, and he raped her. He had raped before in some northern state and was visiting his sister in Florida. They eventually caught him. I think they knew because of DNA.

The last stranger rape was a friend of a friend. She lived on the second floor, left her sliding glass door to the balcony open while she slept, and he cane into her apartment and raped her.

The date rapes range from girls and women being coerced to be physically held down and raped.

In most cases it significantly changes the girls/women. I mean god they use it as a weapon in times of war.

Like so many things, if people can’t physically see the scars they don’t take the trauma as seriously. Similar to people with chronic illness who suffer daily, but look healthy.

Someone close to me was, she lives with PSTD as a result and romantic relationships are basically impossible for her now. Every day is a struggle for her.

I managed to talk my way out of 2 rape situations. I have never been so scared in my life. I just got lucky. But I know of several women who have been raped, and literally every woman I know has been assaulted sexually in some unwelcome manner. I can’t even count the times I’ve been cat called and grabbed and groped. I hate it all.

Yes, by a friend. Alcohol was involved.

Twice in my teens,

The first time was when I was 15 by two male friends of mine. No alcohol was involved.

The second time was when I was 19. I left a college party and went to sleep in my apartment. An acquaintance entered my apartment and got on top of me. He had me pinned. I couldn’t get away.

I still struggle with this at times and I’m 48 now.

What horrible memories that must be @Aethelwine.

A girl close to me was gang raped while on holidays with her parents, in Spain.
She was 12.
Neddless to say she didn’t stand any chance.
Around her 25th she went to therapy, for more than a year, intern.
That has helped her tremendously.
She’s now the mother of two children, and has a loving partner.
In between I have been her partner as well, but our relationship stranded, due to us both struggling with depression at the same time (both were in therapy around the same time as well).
She still can, and will be, triggered sometime.
If someone mentions the word Spain, for instance.
I had a whole bunch of words that I purposely didn’t use when we were together.
She’s one of the strongest persons I know.
The rapists severely hurt her, both physically as well as psychologically, but she survived, and didn’t let herself be beaten.
I don’t like the word hate, but for rapists I make an acception.
I still feel I could do something to these guys if I ever came across them (which won’t happen).

Thank you @rebbel.

@Dutchess_III They are horrible memories. I went immediately to two friends of mine when the first rape happened. We were so young, they didn’t know how to handle it. They came across to me as if they didn’t believe me. I couldn’t tell my parents. I was too ashamed. I had no one to talk to. I held all of this in until I joined Fluther and found the courage to speak about what happened to me.

I opened myself up here and the people who know survivors received more acknowledgement via great answers than I did telling about my experience being raped at such a young age. Once again I don’t feel validated. People suck. I have very little trust in anyone.

^this is what rape does to survivors. We don’t trust. We’re depressed. We have suicidal thoughts. We don’t feel heard. We feel alone.

I was not raped, but was molested by my cousin. That and a number of other abusive situations created my PTSD and decades of therapy.

That’s what I mean by people not understanding the effects because the victims “look” normal. @Aethelwine said it best. They don’t trust, and they don’t feel understood, because so often they aren’t.

If a person is attacked and cut by a knife on their face (God forbid) and scars are left behind, everyone relates to the terror and horror of it. But, rape, others (people who have not been raped) don’t see the scars and without the visual they more easily brush it under the rug or don’t understand the impact. Especially, if they don’t identify with the victim in other ways, they can be very dismissive.

In my situation, the first one I was 17. I totally blamed myself. I willingly went with the guy, after meeting him at a Discotheque. He wanted to show me his parents farm. Well, cool.
I was too inexperienced to realize I was walking right into a very, very dangerous situation. He, of course, had sex on his mind. I only thought about sheeps and goats and cows…sex never crossed my mind.
But he took my compliance to mean I was willing to have sex, and when I wasn’t…Jesus. There I was, stuck far out in the country with this guy. I wondered what would happen if I ran up to the house and started beating on the doors, screaming that their son was trying to rape me….

And, so I learned. And men wonder why we freak out when they try to get us to go get “some ice cream” with them.

^^ Or when strange men yell out sexual comments at you on the street. It’s disgusting, and frightening.

Especially when they go around the block and slowly roll up along side of you.
“Gosh. Why in the world are you acting so scared? We just want to have sex with you! Sex feels good! Jump in!”