What does it mean when people ask "what does it mean when" questions?

What does it mean when we question what it means? I guess it means what it means. I mean really, that’s all it means.

Maybe some people think there is a mystical plan that everyone but them is privy to?

Perhaps they just want your take on it?
Perhaps they can’t dechiper the meaning?
Perhaps they just want to get Fluther points?

@Inspired_2write they are always one hit wonders so accumulating points is not their goal.

What she’s asking is if they can’t decipher it, when they are IN the situation and are picking up on all of the nuances, what makes someone think a bunch of total strangers can?

@Dutchess_III
Perhaps the submitter has problems making decisions and therefore gets perspective from Flutherites. That way he/she can choose from those perspectives..but again a conundrum ..probably can’t decide that either.

I think you’ve quite right, Jeruba.

I think when people ask what some event “means”, they are looking for a shortcut easy explanation for something, in the mindset that there would be one clear explanation that they aren’t seeing, but that someone else might even if they just write a question about it to strangers.

Or it’s code for they just want some ideas for part of what it might mean. Or they have a hunch and want to see if others confirm it.

I think sometimes that’s a lot more reasonable than in other situations.

I think it’s part of the sliding scale between accurate insight and the usefulness of simplifying situations to make sense of them, down through plausable conjectures and down to mistakes and horrible dehumanizing nasty assumptions.

And it’s easy, especially for people who are a bit overwhelmed, confused and/or desperate for some explanations (and/or hoping X has a crush on them too, etc) to let themselves indulge in such ways of thinking.

One example of how I do this is when I wonder what it means that Facebook won’t let me receive messages unless I install their Messenger app. I think it means they want me to install their app so they can spy better on me and sell more data about me, and that that means that corporation is evil on a stick, and I get a righteous adrenaline payoff for ranting about it in off-topic ways on an Internet Q&A site. ;-)

Reminds me of Viktor Frankl.

People want to understand the motivation for something or some action as it affects them, often because they are not confident they can determine a proper response.

People ask about dreams because they believe it will give them a fundamental insight to their own psychology. They wish to understand the motivations of others because they don’t trust their own instincts.

Thinking this through, though, I think my pat answer will become, “it means you are an adolescent.”

Those kinds of questions invariable come from kids who are becoming aware of that whole other world of girls and boys and are trying to figure out what is significant and what is not.

_some people must believe there’s a secret language or code that somehow explains everything, and that everybody else is in on it except them. _

I think that’s true because…

Those kinds of questions invariable come from kids

I remember thinking that way. I had so little experience to inform my understanding of the social world around me. I think it’s very normal in a youngster.

Update: Also I think often they are fishing for a confident declaration of the answer they are aching to hear – “It means she’s madly in love with you!”

y. Invariably. My bad.

I agree with @zenvelo. I think they’re looking for how the questioned behavior affects them personally. On one level, the question is a simple desire to know the answer, but on a not-so-deeper level, there’s a “selfish” intent to know how it affects the questioner.

I can imagine a genuine reason not to be able to ask the person who’s behavior is being questioned, but it must be stated that the vast majority of these questions are from individuals who are simply not confident enough to ask directly.

Did someone says there’s cake?