How Much Do You Do With Your Spouse?

We spend a lot of time together, most work nights we have dinner together and play card games. We’ll cook and eat meals together everyday and on the weekends we’ll do some activity be it yard work or hiking. I take my alone time when I can too.

I think it sounds like a lot, but if you both enjoy it, truly, then it’s no one else’s business.

My husband and I work different shifts so alone time is plentiful, but weekends we try to reduce the family and friends visits to only one day, so we have a day to reconnect, prepare for the week and go over any business, and just hang out.

Now I will say that if a family member said that, perhaps they want some time with him without you. Which also isn’t unusual, especially a brother/sister or mother/dad. They sometimes see the wife or girlfriend as a third wheel, let’s be honest, you aren’t their kid, he is.
I have always shown respect to my husbands family by telling him to go alone to his mom’s every month or two, or to go alone out with his brothers fishing or something.

What difference does it make what other people think? If you are enjoying your relationship the way it is, so be it.

Never let others dictate what they feel you should do. It sounds like you are enjoying each other’s company. There are too many couples that hate each other.

The only reason I said it sounded like a lot, is that many of my male friends (married), will complain (when wifey is gone) that they don’t get any alone time, or ‘she always has to tag along’, but they aren’t always up front with their wives….lol

@KNOWITALL the person who made the comment is his brother in law and I see him the LEAST amount of all his family/ friends. Husband works with him and plays in a band with him. He spends a lot of time with him and with out me. I find his comment very strange.

I also allow him plenty of time to be with his family alone. Like his dad took him to a car show and I said no thanks lol. There are plenty of situations like that. But if they invite us out to dinner or to their house, when the whole family is going I’m not going to say “oh go ahead with out me…” they probably would think that was weird.

@KNOWITALL He gets three hours after work alone since I get home later. He also is usually the one to call me when I’m out and be like “come home I’m lonely!” He tends to need less time apart from me than I need. I would be very surprised if he was telling his friends he needs even more time. I just don’t think that is the case with us.

Sounds like your BIL is jealous.

Such an odd statement from your BIL. Your time together does not seem at all excessive or unusual; you don’t mention kids, but if you had kids I imagine you would spend even more time together as a family.

For the first 4 years of our relaltionship we were together 24/7. We owned a business together. We were never apart. I honestly don’t think I could have done that with anyone else.
Then, for the first year or 2 after he got his job selling compressors, I went with him on 80% of his business trips. I’d just hang out and wait for him, then we’d go to the motel, and eat dinner…all on the business.

Take him for a walk every day. Otherwise he shits on the carpet.

Tell this family member to fuck off & wind their opinionated neck in, miserable bastards.

@ucme Yes, sounds like she gives him space, time to use the Ucme method! haha

Maybe I’m wrong, but it was just the one family member, his brother, who commented, right? The rest of the family doesn’t feel that way, do they?

@KNOWITALL “ucme method”…sounds like some kind of birth control :D

@ucme Maybe it is, I havent seen your face haha! Bazinga!

It sounds very similar to my situation with my husband and we’ve been together for almost 28 years. Like right now he’s out for a bit with friends and I’m Netflixing. We had dinner delivered and played a card game with our son before he left. He’ll come home and then we’ll probably watch something together before we fall asleep.

We like the same things so his friends are always welcoming when I tag along. If we go out it’s usually to watch football, listen to live music, or enjoy a night of trivia.

When my husband and I first moved to Wisconsin recently I went to run errands and my husband stopped at a bar for a pre-party show before a big concert. When I came to pick him up I stayed for a bit and had a beer. My husband was talking to this gentleman the entire time before I arrived, then we all chatted before we left. We’ve all since become friends. One of the things this man complains about is that he can never get his wife to go out with him to do the things he likes. They have nothing in common. I find that so strange.

Just ignore the naysayer. It sounds like you have a good relationship.

(Aww, my husband just texted me while I was typing all of this.)

It has changed over time for my husband and me.

I love doing things with my husband, and I’m grateful I do. We do things separate a lot, because I like zumba and he doesn’t, and he is interested in different things than I am, but I like that he likes me around, so if he wants me to try something with him I at least try it.

When he used to race as a hobby I almost always went with him to the track.

We like watching our TV shows together. If he wants to watch sports I usually watch TV in a different room.

I remember when we moved to NC he wanted us to take golf lessons together. A friend said to me, “it’s so nice that he wants you along, a lot of men use golf time as away time from their spouse.” It made me think. My husband pretty much always wants me along on activities. If I don’t want to go that’s fine, I don’t, but it’s nice to be asked.

When we were first married he traveled a ton for work and lived out of the country almost a year while I stayed at home.

Please…my wife and I are usually glued to the hip. There’s no one I’d rather spend time with frankly. Sure she goes out with friends occasionally, and her and my daughter have their time together without me. Other than that, if we’re not working, we’re together.

Speaking of which, we actually worked together in the past as well, for about five years.

@KNOWITALL Gee golly gosh that was popular :D
You have seen my face though, been my avatar here on numerous occasions.

@ucme Just a joke, I know you’re ravishing dahling.

Rick and I like each other a lot too. I don’t think many people have the kind of relationship that we do. He had a good friend who was always wanting Rick to go off with him for a guy’s weekend, sans the women. I couldn’t blame him…his wife was / is a bitch! Rick did go once, fishing in Missouri, and he had a good time, but he said he really missed me and it just wasn’t the same. He had my permission to go whenever he wanted, but he never did it again.
It was really too bad that we couldn’t stand his wife, so we never did much as couples, lunch now and then, but that was all.

@Dutchess_III It was just the BIL who made the comment. No one else has ever said anything but his sister (and the BIL) will try to invite him only to things or really only pay attention to him. I was getting the feeling that they were trying to get him away from me although I wasn’t sure why. So there were several times when I was just like ok why don’t you just go ahead without me. It’s very strange.

He seems VERY jealous. It’s just so weird to me that he is so opinionated about our/ my husband life.

@Aethelwine Adorable :D

I guess his comment bothered me because I was worried that I was hanging around him too much, but if I’m wanted do I really need to worry? Especially since we do have time apart.

I would not worry at all. I would also avoid his brother and his sister as much as I could and still stay gracious.