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Dutchess_III's avatar

Have you ever had someone insist that you will like something, as though you have no choice?

Asked by Dutchess_III (47069points) February 2nd, 2019

My mom used to make pralines for my dad (she only ever cooked sweets for him. If it just so happened that we liked them too, we were allowed to have a little bit.) All I really remember was that she used butterscotch pudding. She also told me she had gotten the recipe from Aunt Erma who lived a few hundred miles away.
Well, then Mom left. A few years later I was visiting my Aunt Erma and I asked her if she could give me that praline recipe.
She said she had a better one, and read it off for me.
I said, “But I wanted the one that used the butterscotch pudding like Mom used to make.”
She literally refused to give it to me, saying, almost angrily, “This recipe is much better!”
It was crazy. And it wasn’t nearly as good as what my mom used to make, in my opinion.

And I’ve been looking for it ever since.

Have you ever encountered someone so controlling?

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16 Answers

jonsblond's avatar

I wouldn’t say they were controlling but I encountered a couple of Queen fans who insisted I didn’t listen to enough of their music to really appreciate them. I’ve listened to their music my entire life. I’m just not a crazy fan of theirs. It’s not the first band I choose to listen to when I pick a band to listen to.

This was after I mentioned I had no desire to see the film Bohemian Rhapsody.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I am waiting for Bohemian Rhapsody to come out on Netflix. I’m not interested enough to pay for it.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Never mind me. I’m experimenting.

Unofficial_Member's avatar

Rather than “insist” I would rather say that they’re “quite persuasive”. Some of my relatives and friends had tried on several occasion to cajole me to join them in some parties and religious ceremonies, even though I have told them I’m a homebody person. They keep saying that I’ll never know what would happen in the party if I don’t come, that I’ll be missing out, or that I’ll give the impression that I’m an anti-social person. I rarely go along with them these days but I still remember that I didn’t have the choice as a kid.

I don’t think your aunt was insisting you purposely. She could’ve thought that you deem her recipe is the lesser of the two in term of quality and got offended as the result. We all know the feeling when our own recipe is being compared to others. Each cook has their own pride, it’s a tacit understanding. It’s also possible that she has forgotten the recipe and didn’t want to admit it so instead she used her own recipe as a substitute.

Dutchess_III's avatar

But she didn’t “persuade” me. That implies that I gave in of my own free will. I didn’t. It was take the recipe she gave me or take none at all. To refuse to take it would have been rude so I took it.

When I asked her for it, I had no idea she even HAD a different recipe so there is no way I could have been comparing them.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

Yeah Supervisers, Boss’s,and Parents, not to mention a few relatives always say I will love it even though I didn’t.

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

I was pestered to try a salad when I did not want any. It was unremarkable.

Unofficial_Member's avatar

Wait a minute, in my understanding you first asked for your mom’s recipe but your aunt gave you her own recipe instead as she claimed that her own is the better one (how do you think she could ‘know’ hers is the better one? Because she knows/has tried your mom’s recipe). That means she has shown to you that she could’ve known your mom’s recipe but she decided to use her own recipe instead. You didn’t know but… once she let you know your mom’s recipe after your dislike of her recipe you’ll inevidently start to compare both of them. Surely your aunt isn’t the only person who can tell you this recipe, there could be other family member, or even the internet (since there are always better/similar recipes out there that can be just as satisfying).

Dutchess_III's avatar

No. My mom told me she had gotten the recipe from my Aunt Erma. So several years later, when I was visiting my aunt, I asked her for the recipe. She just wrote it down. When I read it I commented that the one Mom made had butterscotch pudding in it (the one she wrote down didn’t.)
That’s when she said she had the other one, but insisted that I would like this other one better.
I just said “Thank you,” and let it go.
I made her recipe when I got home, and I did not care for it. I wanted what I remembered as a child before my home and family was permanently fractured, but I certainly never told her that. I can’t imagine anything ruder!

jca2's avatar

@Dutchess_III: I just googled “praline recipe butterscotch pudding” and all kinds of recipes came up. You can sample various recipes until you find one that is like the one you’re missing.

ragingloli's avatar

Every priest says that.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Oh, I found one @jca2. I actually came across one about 8 years ago and was really excited. What I meant by I had been looking ever since was that I had looked for about 30 years, most of it pre-internet. I actually have yet to try it, but Rick bought a sack of pecans over Christmas and I need to use them up. I was thinking of making them today.

The thing is, I really want the exact one my mom used to make. :( Maybe this one will be it.

Love_my_doggie's avatar

@Dutchess_III You’ve described so many yoga aficionados.

There are numerous approaches to exercise and physical conditioning – yoga is just one technique – and nothing’s a perfect fit for everyone. Personally, I’ve tried yoga and found it boring and ineffective; it simply isn’t for me.

But, I often meet yoga fans who adore lecturing about how non-converts are ignorant, stubborn, haven’t found the right class, etc., etc. That sort of chauvinism is laughably inconsistent with a discipline that supposedly creates inner harmony and fosters acceptance and tolerance.

Love_my_doggie's avatar

@Dutchess_III I am waiting for Bohemian Rhapsody to come out on Netflix. I’m not interested enough to pay for it

If the sing-along version plays at one of your local movie theatres, I highly recommend it. The words to the songs appear on-screen, and the entire audience joins in. It’s a big party and contagious fun. I had the time of my life.

Of course, I’m not pulling an Aunt Erma and insisting that you’ll do as I say!!! I’m just sharing something that’s worth considering. :-)

Dutchess_III's avatar

LOL! Sounds like The Rocky Horror Picture Show….which I never saw either, believe it or not. I am an utter 70s failure.
I will keep it in mind for sure. Gotta make up for the RHPS!

Dutchess_III's avatar

I thought you were talking about yogurt at first, and I’m going…put yogurt in my praline mix? Nooo! I know mom didn’t do that!

But I agree. I don’t really care for yoga either. If I’m disciplined enough to do something consistently I’ll do something more physical like running or lifting weights.

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