How do I come to terms/deal with all of this?

I am writing this post not only for support but also because I really need to say all of this. I’ve never really told anyone.
I’m also gonna put a CW on here because rape and other sexual topics are mentioned (In no detail though). If any of this doesn’t make much sense this is my first time really putting it into words and I can clarify anything if needed. I was young when a lot of this happened (I still am) and I was sooo in love with him and dependent on him that I never could think about leaving him, even though I knew towards the end he was horrible for me. He’s the only person to ever treat me nicely when he was nice and he was very supportive and nice at times when I really needed it that I overlooked the manipulative/abusive moods he’d get in.
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When I was 16 (This was in 2017), I met a man online. He was super nice and we talked for about a week before meeting up. For the first two/three-ish months things were super nice, aside from a few times he got mad at me for little petty things I can’t remember.
Anyways, In Sept 2017 there were some issues between my parents and my mother cheating, and he made all these promises about how he could never cheat on me because I was getting paranoid as this was a LDR, and come to find out recently that he was cheating the entire 1.5 years we were together.
I saw him occasionally, it was a bit hard bc I couldn’t drive and he always had to come to me. In December (When I was now 17) the car that he had bought got impounded and he blamed it on me as he was coming to see me that day. We got into an argument that lasted about a day and we made up.
Things didn’t really start getting bad into like March of 2018, when he left me for about 3 months because I wasn’t willing to meet with men for money. I thought it was incredibly immoral and horrible that he would force this on me, and I felt disgusting talking to these men, but he said If i really loved him I would do it, that he’s done so much for me, and all that. So I tried but never met up with anyone.
He didn’t text me for like two weeks and in May (2018) we started talking and I texted a friend of mine and drove 2.5 hrs to see him under the impression we were going to get together again, but it turned out he only wanted sex or something because he admitted to leading me on. I won’t go into a ton of detail but the circumstances in which I left really got people worried and got cops looking for me.
We did get back together over the summer, and things got super bad.
He started forcing me to agree with 3somes, again telling me if I don’t do it he’d leave me but he’d start calling me names, and guilt tripping me (I’ve done so much for you, etc).
In August, He met some chick and he tried to make me okay with an Open relationship, which I again was forced into agreeing with. At first it was he was meeting her for lunch, then it was just a BJ then it became no, he actually had sex with her. I was incredibly hurt be he sort of begged me not to leave so I didn’t. He kept saying he’d never leave me for her, but he wouldnt stay with me if I didn’t agree. Every time he brought up open relationships, it was only him that could go off with other people. I wouldn’t have been allowed to myself (not that I even wanted to)
Something happened this last September and he lost his phone and didn’t text me for a month. During this month I was raped and when he did message me once he got his phone back, I told him what happened.
He went on this huge rant about how I deserved it and how he was never gonna take me back and how I couldn’t talk to him unless I started making him money (By going off with men/ selling pics).
Eventually, (and to my regret) We did work things out and I was supposed to move in with him in January (Thank god I didn’t). I’ve started becoming more aware that this was very unhealthy and I also learned things about him.
Everytime he doesn’t get what he wants, he loses his mind. he starts name calling, he would block me or ignore me which drove me crazy and he knew it was the thing I hated the most. During one of our stupid arguemnts that we broke up over he told my friend “We are still together but I don’t want to tell her yet” And he knew damn well that I was crying and having a hard time dealing with it.
I recently found out he has done this to every girl he’s been with, which is of no surprise to me.
He’s a sex addict on top of all things and he is very very forceful to get what he wants. If girls weren’t interested in talking/having sex he’d verbally attack them. I was always into talking to him so he never really did that to me.
I have also found out that he has raped 3 women. It was while they were drunk/high.
This is the thing I am really struggling with. Despite all the horrible shit he did to me, said to me, etc, and theres more examples then I could ever put in one post, this is the worst. The fact that he put these women through this disgusts me and that he did it in a way where it’s hard to prove is even grosser, because I know it was intentional to make them drunk.
What I am struggling with even more, is that despite finding this out, I feel as if I still love him. But at this point I’m not sure if it’s even love or just a dependency because as I said in the beginning, he was very nice and sweet at times. I miss the nice version of him more than anything and I think that’s who I’m in love with.
I really need help coming to terms with all of this.
I need help getting over him, I need the strength to report him to the police. I don’t know how. I can’t explain what exactly it is I need help with just that I know i need it. I am now 18 years old. He is 27. I did have my faults, I was clingy, and he always capatalizes and what I did that he didn’t like whenever I tried to talk things out, which he’d always avoid doing.