Why aren't people encouraging of each other most of the time?

Good question. Look who was elected President.

We live in cynical times. Racist times. The air is electric. A cold war is nigh.

People are basically good. The bad ones are louder and scare off the good ones. Survival of the meanest.

On that cheery note.

Because bad mouthing and looking negative at others views and ideas, make idiots feel good about themselves.

In uncertain times, such as these are, perhaps the instinct is kicking in to view one another as rivals for resources.

So here’s a line of thought. You might think that a time of relative risk would be the time to band together as a community for mutual benefit; but one of the downsides of the present cultural and political climate is to erase boundaries and distinctions so you don’t know who is “us” and who is “them.”

(There’s an upside to that, of course, as we know. We hear about it all the time. It’s reasonable to discuss the downside too, and that doesn’t happen very often.)

If I look upon A or B as my sister or brother and they don’t regard me in the same way, there is no safety for me with them, not even if I’ve been there for them when they needed a hand. When it’s time to close ranks for protection, their closing won’t include me.

So either I have to find a group to identify with, a group I can trust to stand by me even when danger is high and resources are scarce, or I have to be prepared to go it on my own, which is really hard. Does my safe group include my family? How much beyond my family? What criterion am I using?

I’m talking about primitive instincts here, not political ideologies. Tribalism is pretty basic.

Perhaps what you’re seeing is simple petty jealousy, people feeling threatened by someone else’s ability or competence, but I think there are deeper roots to it.

Why should they be?

Zealous optimism is just as unrealistic as zealous cynicism.

There can be many reasons that can happen independently or at once. The big ones that come to my mind are:

Insecurity
Low self esteem
Wisdom
Experience
Fear
Habit
Learned behavior
Counteracting against someone eise’s excessive optimism and impulsiveness.

@dopeguru Most people around me are supportive, I really think you just need better friends.

@ARE_you_kidding_me Same.

You can’t really fault those parents who after their decades of sacrifice and stress have their kid stand in front of them in that Yale cap & gown to declare that hers is to be a life devoted to aromatherapy or pet grooming.

@dopeguru I have to add that having supportive people around me did not happen on its own…
It took a lot of work

Trump blaming on this thread is stupid. Parental judgey and cynical acquaintances are older than speech.

My daughter thinks of me as her own personal critic.
I love her deeply, and I am proud of her.
I know she wants great things, for herself, and from herself, and first drafts and initial inclinations don’t get that.
My daughter is smart, talented, beautiful. Not just loving mommy’s opinion. She has the brains to cure cancer, and the heart of a poet.
When she reads an assignment to me, I tell her I love it, then out comes the red pen.
She thinks I’m not supportive, but she turns deaf ears to the sappy, happy things I say.

If your parents don’t seem to like some of your choices, there are many solid reasons to choose from why. Some things they know to be a danger to you. Some things they know you will be soon bored with, and feeling you wasted your time, and they want to spare you that.
Some things they feel are beneath you, and they didn’t walk this far down the road carrying you just so you can leap from their arms into a sewage drain.
What many parents don’t realize, no matter how much they desire to keep you from heartaches and disappointments they have experienced, most kids need to experience some amount of dark side to just get that part of them expressed, and out of the way.
Try to afford them some patience and understanding, and hopefully they will grant you the same in return.

@Patty_Melt, the only one who has mentioned Trump on this thread is you.

I agree @Jeruba Nobody has bashed Trump on this question.
Some people are just a bit sensitive over the orange haired freak,OOPS < sorry oh well there I bashed him a little.

Ahem, check joeschmo up top. I mentioned no names because I was including those who might but had not yet.

Yes, you were wrong.

Sorry to pick on the guy, with you liking him so much.
But he does bring out the worst in people.
And yes I admit I was wrong,I can admit when wrong, can YOU??

@Patty_Melt, ahem, I read it. He said, “Look who was elected President.” You said, “Trump blaming.” If you think any mention of or reference to the president is about blame, that’s on you. Nobody on this thread has blamed Trump for anything (unless you want to count bringing out the worst in people, a comment that occurred after your remark). And you were indeed the first to mention his name.

If someone thinks the mere mention of him in any fashion constitutes bashing, that presumes that nothing good can be said about him. Funny attitude for his friends to have, isn’t it?

And you’re including those who might but had not yet? Ok, sure. Just as I’m tired of all the dumb things that people might say later in this thread, even though they haven’t said them yet.

So here we are bashing each other. Kinda answers the question, doesn’t it?

Because respect for another’s choices,opinions, or what they wear,or what awards they
win are seen as a threat instead of inspiration to do good in this world.

We can all learn from our differences and gleam insights that were not thought of before .

Cultures, ideas,ideologies,philosophies,languages,Countries,clothing,designs,etc all are
in the mix an opportunities to grow and learn abound.

To see from another’s eyes opens our own to a vast knowledge that we deny ourselves
when confronted with opposition to our own views on the subjects and,doing that, closes
oneself off to maturity and inspiration to grow positively as a human being .

Not a good idea to close oneself off to learning from either our own mistakes or in another.

Yes, this did start out as an excellent question which I hoped would be helpful, as one criticism people have of me is that I am not more encouraging— I was hoping for something that would help me to think and act more positively.

But the first response started with bashing Trump. When this was pointed out, others validated the Trump-bashing position and condemned those who pointed it out.

I think the very first response is proof as to why these times are so cynical

@Jaxk LOL, I was thinking the same thing.

Interesting nobody has anything else to say about my first post.
Did anyone read past my first paragraph?

I guess it depends upon the people you find yourself among. My friends and family, are generally encouraging, or at least neutral. I try to be encouraging to the people that are important to me. Sometimes we find ourselves in the company of people who we find offensive, foolish, willfully ignorant, or just plain old fashioned, garden variety ignorant. That can be in person, or online.

It wouldn’t make sense to encourage people whose ideas and beliefs fit those categories. It’s almost impossible (and illogical) to be encouraging to someone who won’t accept scientific facts, or someone who keeps asking for advice, but refuses to accept the advice, or refuses to change their behavior, or someone who attacks the messenger.

What would be the point?